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Tiger Wood Jokes
Various
| Unknown
Posted on 12/04/2009 12:38:12 PM PST by VA Voter
Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.
What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.
Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par.
What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing
Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: adulthumor; humor; jokes; tiger; tigerwoods; woods
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1
posted on
12/04/2009 12:38:13 PM PST
by
VA Voter
To: VA Voter
Never grab a Tiger by his tailpipe.
2
posted on
12/04/2009 12:39:48 PM PST
by
Berlin_Freeper
(Daddy's First Christmas!)
To: VA Voter
Q: What do baby seals and Tiger Woods have in common?
A: They both have been clubbed by a Scandinavian.
To: VA Voter
Whats the difference between Bill Clinton and Tiger Woods-? Tiger doesn’t cheat at golf-!
4
posted on
12/04/2009 12:40:50 PM PST
by
imjimbo
(The constitution SHOULD be our "gun permit")
To: VA Voter
Apparently the police asked Tiger’s wife how many times she hit him. She said “I don’t know exactly, but put me down for a 5.”
Why did Phil Mickelson call Elin yesterday? To pick up some tips on how to beat Tiger.
What is the penalty for getting it in the wrong hole? Ask Tiger, he knows.
Nike wants to drop their endorsement due to accuracy problems. Apparently, Tiger’s spraying his balls everywhere.
Why was Tiger’s wife mad at him? She heard that he played a-round in Australia.
What will the headline be if they prove it is domestic violence? TIGER’S WIFE MAKES THE CUT
Elin Woods has a twin sister named Josephine. Know how to tell them apart? Elin is the one holding the bent 5 iron.
5
posted on
12/04/2009 12:41:05 PM PST
by
b4its2late
(Before you can control a horse, you have to break it. Sound familiar?)
To: VA Voter
6
posted on
12/04/2009 12:41:30 PM PST
by
ButThreeLeftsDo
(Merry Christmas, FReepers!!!)
To: VA Voter
Name change alert:
Cheetah Woods
7
posted on
12/04/2009 12:43:35 PM PST
by
IrishPennant
(If you can accept losing, you can't win. ~ Vince Lombardi)
To: VA Voter
Eeeny, meeny, miney, mo
Catch a Tiger by his toe,
If he hollers hit him with a seven iron.
8
posted on
12/04/2009 12:44:53 PM PST
by
frogjerk
To: VA Voter
The more serious observer will just consider him a fraud that can play golf exceptioanally well.
9
posted on
12/04/2009 12:44:53 PM PST
by
AIM-54
To: frogjerk
What club did Elin use to 'rescue' her husband? A bitching wedge.
The Chinese are already making a movie about Tiger Woods' crash. They are calling it, " Scratching Swede, Lying Tiger.
10
posted on
12/04/2009 12:46:06 PM PST
by
Puppage
(You may disagree with what I have to say, but I shall defend to your death my right to say it)
To: DoctorBulldog
11
posted on
12/04/2009 12:47:21 PM PST
by
Dallas
To: Puppage
At least Tiger didn't blame his latest drive on his caddie.
12
posted on
12/04/2009 12:48:02 PM PST
by
frogjerk
To: musicman
13
posted on
12/04/2009 12:48:08 PM PST
by
musicman
(Until I see the REAL Long Form Vault BC, he's just "PRES__ENT" Obama = Without "ID")
To: frogjerk
At least Tiger didn't blame his latest drive on his caddie. Sure he did--he was driving an Escalade.
14
posted on
12/04/2009 12:51:15 PM PST
by
ShadowAce
(Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
To: VA Voter
Why did Tiger hire Jaimee Grubbs to be his golf instructor?
He wanted her to help straighten out his putts.
To: VA Voter
What do US generals in Afghanistan and Tiger have in common?
They've both been give orders to withdraw.
16
posted on
12/04/2009 12:56:16 PM PST
by
llevrok
(Love and mental illness are similar. At first, all seems normal.)
To: VA Voter
I was going to golf with Tiger, but he already had a four-some.
17
posted on
12/04/2009 12:57:08 PM PST
by
Amaroc
To: VA Voter
Woody Woodbury variant:
1st Woman:Elin Woods just knocked out Tiger with a golf club!
2nd woman: How many strokes did it take?
18
posted on
12/04/2009 12:57:58 PM PST
by
vetvetdoug
(FUBO, a fashion statement for conservatives.)
To: nahanrac
GatorAid should come out w/a new color of sweat or SNL spoof how much sweat comes out of him while he does a new pre-nup. Too bad I can’t photo shop that one.
19
posted on
12/04/2009 12:58:57 PM PST
by
lilycicero
(Maybe it wasn't blood, mabye it was gatorade...tigerade)
To: IrishPennant
Put a Tiger in your skank.
20
posted on
12/04/2009 1:09:28 PM PST
by
Farmer Dean
(Don't blame me,I voted for the American)
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