Is it bad manners to tell some old spinster to mind her own @!@)*#ing business?
Ping for the list.
Yes it is rude, it communicates to others that they are not worthy of your attention, regardless of your motives for whipping out reading material.
Yeah, it’s bad manners. But I do it, too. Or I did until my wife finally put her foot down.
But it’s also bad manners to correct people. It’s worse to gossip.
So I say it’s a wash.
It’s the first sign of a serial killer
Common in my family growing up. Not prone to idle banter, the four of us would often all have books and read during dinner together.
Startled the heck out of me one day when I started doing this around someone else and her reaction was “Yuck! You’re reading at the table?” I learned to limit doing so in non-introverted company.
By doing that the message you are sending is “the silkworm industry in France during the 1840s” is of more interest to you than the people around you. You decide if that’s rude or not.
Definitively rude.
If you take the time to dine with someone, you must also take the time to converse with that someone - even if it is empty small talk. If you want to read - stay at home in your studay, or go to the library.
Unless one is alone and the book one’s only companion, yes, it is rude.
Yes, bad manners. If you were with 9 other people, then it was likely at a social event. If you do not wish to socialize, then you should not have been at a social event.
It was disrespectful to the people who may have wanted to engage you in conversation. It was definately insulting to the host who had invited you as you ignored the rest of his guests.
Nothing personal, but in my opinion it is bad manners to read at the dinner table if there are others at the table. Also to use a laptop, or use your phone for conversation or texting.
When eating with others, I believe manners requires that you remain open to conversation with others. If others monopolize the ocnversation and ignore you, that is unmannerly as well — when you see others being left out of conversation, the mannerly thing is to draw them in, or change the topic. You can do this by drawing the whole group, or by starting up a side conversation.
It is OK to read or do other things if you are dining alone.
That is my opinion.
Yes, bad manners
Now a reasonable exception might apply if you had been engaged in a heated debate about the silkworm industry, and to settle the dispute pulled out your Blackberry (or iPhone) to find what the ultimate authority on the subject, Wikipedia, had to say.
Yes, it is abominable manners. If you’re reading at the table, it is a direct way of saying, “You people are of no interest to me; I am so bored by you that I must entertain myself in some other way.” Now, this of course is exactly your situation, but sometimes in the name of peace and kindness we refrain from insulting people.
If you can’t interest yourself in what other people are talking about, the problem may be with them—perhaps they really are idiots who speak only about trivia—or it may be with you. It’s possible, in other words, that they’re all idiots. It’s equally possible that you are a snob for thinking your thoughts are superior to theirs. In either case it’s hardly a penance to put on a mask of courtesy for as long as it takes to eat your meal, perhaps 20 minutes at most.
You might also consider really listening to others. It’s surprising, but some people who aren’t apparently as intelligent or educated as you are or don’t share your interests may still have things to teach you.
Frank,
Your name is familiar. Weren’t you once the FB head coach at Nebraska?
As to the topic, reading tells the other people at the table that they are uninteresting and unworthy of your attention. While they may very well be uninteresting and unworthy of attention, you chose to engage in that social setting. So, you are stuck having to fake some interest.
Yeah, it kinda sux.
While I do understand about not being able to hear much, if any, of what’s being said during dinner conversation, I do think it’s inappropriate for you to read at the dinner table unless you’re surrounded by immediate family.
When you accept a dining invitation from friends and acquaintances you really do need to put the book down and at least attempt to be a part of the group. Reading a book isolates you from the rest of your dining companions and sends the message (whether true or not) that you find the company you’re with boring and not worthy of your attention. In essence you might as well be eating alone at a separate table.
It’s different when you’re sharing a meal with immediate family because they fully understand your difficulty in being able to follow conversation because of your hearing loss.
From reading your family dinner habits, when eating with your family you are not out of order to read.
In ‘social’ situations at the dining table, it would be considered somewhat inappropriate. It does sort of say “you bore me”, so I think I will read.
I must say, I get a humorous, fond sort of kick out of your family’s reading at the dinner table. I am also impressed by the reading subject which engrossed you at Wednesday nights dinner! You must have a very interesting mind.
If you are dining WITH others, yes, it’s rude.
>>>>I was reading the Encyclopedia Americana, specifically the entries about the silkworm industry in France during the 1840s,<<<<<<
Wait...what?
I’m sorry. I am afraid we can’t be friends anymore.