Posted on 07/16/2009 7:47:15 AM PDT by franksolich
Much to my disconcertment, last night (Wednesday night), a local dowager had complained about my "bad manners" of reading while dining with nine other people; not to me--she had complained to friends of mine.
I was reading the Encyclopedia Americana, specifically the entries about the silkworm industry in France during the 1840s, while everybody else was yik-yakking away.
Of course, there's a practical matter here; too many people, too much light and movement, too much color, which to me is "noise," and so I can't keep track of what's being said, or what I think's being said.
What is one to do? Chew on his food and twiddle his thumbs?
Actually, it's a cultural thing.
It was always de rigeuer that the family dine together, breakfast, lunch, supper, when I was a little lad alongside the Platte River of Nebraska, and an adolescent thriving in the Sandhills of Nebraska.
(Excerpt) Read more at conservativecave.com ...
Is it bad manners to tell some old spinster to mind her own @!@)*#ing business?
Ping for the list.
Yes it is rude, it communicates to others that they are not worthy of your attention, regardless of your motives for whipping out reading material.
Yeah, it’s bad manners. But I do it, too. Or I did until my wife finally put her foot down.
But it’s also bad manners to correct people. It’s worse to gossip.
So I say it’s a wash.
It’s the first sign of a serial killer
Common in my family growing up. Not prone to idle banter, the four of us would often all have books and read during dinner together.
Startled the heck out of me one day when I started doing this around someone else and her reaction was “Yuck! You’re reading at the table?” I learned to limit doing so in non-introverted company.
By doing that the message you are sending is “the silkworm industry in France during the 1840s” is of more interest to you than the people around you. You decide if that’s rude or not.
How to defeat table mates. Eat really, really slow...They’ll all leave....Then you can read till the cows come home!!!
At my house, they'll leave ... clearing your plate out from under your nose and eating whatever's on it before it reaches the sink.
Eat really fast, and then go read in the living room!
In many cases, the silkworm industry of France during the 1840s _is_ more interesting than some people. Perhaps some people should take the hint.
On topic, of course it's rude unless, as when he was growing up, everyone else is reading too. But I somehow doubt he actually read the Encyclopedia Americana while at the table with nine other people.
Definitively rude.
If you take the time to dine with someone, you must also take the time to converse with that someone - even if it is empty small talk. If you want to read - stay at home in your studay, or go to the library.
Unless one is alone and the book one’s only companion, yes, it is rude.
Yes, bad manners. If you were with 9 other people, then it was likely at a social event. If you do not wish to socialize, then you should not have been at a social event.
It was disrespectful to the people who may have wanted to engage you in conversation. It was definately insulting to the host who had invited you as you ignored the rest of his guests.
Nothing personal, but in my opinion it is bad manners to read at the dinner table if there are others at the table. Also to use a laptop, or use your phone for conversation or texting.
When eating with others, I believe manners requires that you remain open to conversation with others. If others monopolize the ocnversation and ignore you, that is unmannerly as well — when you see others being left out of conversation, the mannerly thing is to draw them in, or change the topic. You can do this by drawing the whole group, or by starting up a side conversation.
It is OK to read or do other things if you are dining alone.
That is my opinion.
Yes, bad manners
Perhaps franksolich should not accept dinner invitations and eat alone since apparently he is the most interesting person he knows.
Good point. As a writer, that’s not a mistake I should be permitted to make.
I agree that it is rude when dining with others, but how about when dining alone? I always take a book with me when dining alone. As a female, I hate dining alone.
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