$$$$ThE oFfIcIaL fRiDaY sIlLiNeSs ThReAd$$$$

National Donut Day ^

[Lucky9teen]

In light of Obama's "America Is A Muslim Country & Apology" Tour...

It goes without saying that Muslims are perhaps the least humorous folk on Earth; whereas Jews have learned to laugh at themselves, even turning that laughter into a business: Vaudeville. When I was growing up, my father never failed to tell me at least three jokes a day, most of them involving Jews and their eccentricities, customs, and travails. I'd like to continue that long tradition of Jews telling jokes, but with Muslims as the butt of the joke. You can't be civilized until you can laugh at yourself.

Perhaps in this way, someday, even radical fundamentalist Muslims may find themselves laughing. In fact, it would do my heart good to hear that a billion Muslims laughed themselves to death.

Many of these are probably in poor taste, to which I say tough camel titties.

Q: What do female Muslims use for birth control?
A: Their faces. [See photo above.]

Q. What's the difference between an American BBQ and an Islamic BBQ?
A. In America, Humans roast animals over a fire. In Islam, it's the other way around.

Q. What's the difference between Michael Moore and a one ton CARE package?
A. Michael Moore, if sliced real thin, can feed a larger Afghan village.

A Muslim father catches his son masturbating. He says, "Don't do that my son, or Allah will strike you blind."
The child says, "Abu, I'm over here."

Q. How many muslims does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. What's toilet paper?

Q. How many Muslim extremists will it take to destroy America?
A. None, American Government can do it all by themselves, thank you.

Mohammed heard one of his wives was leaving him, so he rushed home where he found her on the carpet in front of the tent with her belongings; he sat beside her and said, “I heard you were planning to leave me?”

She replied, “Yes, I heard your other wives saying you were a pedophile!”

Mohammed thinks for a minute or so and then responds, “that's a mighty big word for a 6 year old."

George W. Bush and Tony Blair are at a White House dinner. One of the important guests walks over to them and asks what they are talking about.
"We are making up the plans for WW III", says Bush.
"Wow", says the guest. "And what are the plans?"
"We are gonna kill 140 million Muslims and one dentist", answers Bush.
The guest looks to be a bit confused. One...dentist?" He says. "Why will you kill one dentist?"
Blair pats Bush on the shoulder and says, "What did I tell you? Nobody is gonna ask about the Muslims."

[Monkey Face]

Here!

[envisio]

Ah hell, just take a shot of Southern Comfort you spreso-drinkin girlyman.

[absolootezer0]

ew, soco is too sweet and girly. i’ll take some bookers or some knob creek tho. :)

unless you mix the soco with sloe gin, oj and galliano - to get a slow comfortable crew against the wall- assuming the bartender doesn’t slap u for asking her for it.

[Monkey Face]

You Are a Boston Creme Donut

You have a tough exterior. No one wants to mess with you.
But on the inside, you're a total pushover and completely soft.
You're a traditionalist, and you don't change easily.
You're likely to eat the same doughnut every morning, and you pout if it's sold out.

What Donut Are You?

[workerbee]

The president attempted to celebrate National Doughnut Day today, but was stymied when the clerk informed him that no, they did not have falafel-stuffed doughnuts. However, he was quite pleased to learn that a special, arugula-topped cruller had been baked in his honor.

[SERKIT]

How about a Wagyu Beef stuffed Napoleon?

[envisio]

i don’t know man..... I ain’t gonna argue with you when it comes to mixing drinks. But it just doesn’t sound like something that would go with cigars and pork rinds.

Now if I am ever at a cocktail party in fabulous loft on the upper east side, I’ll keep that in mind.

[Pan_Yan]

All the best muslim tweeking pictures are here:

http://www.imao.us/archives/cat_lolterizt.html

[absolootezer0]

can’t stand pork rinds, but i’ll agree it doesn’t mesh well with most cigars.

if you’re talking cigars tho.. its gotta be rum. not that bacardi crap either. a good, sipping rum, like zaya.

[Nateman]

What do tell say to a Muslim woman with two black eyes?

Nothing. Her Husband has already told her twice.

[a fool in paradise]

National Donut Day

President Barack has also declared it national donut bumper month.

[a fool in paradise]

You Are a Boston Creme Donut

You have a tough exterior. No one wants to mess with you.
But on the inside, you're a total pushover and completely soft.
You're a traditionalist, and you don't change easily.
You're likely to eat the same doughnut every morning, and you pout if it's sold out.

What Donut Are You?

[a fool in paradise]

Your Ego is Medium

You have what psychologists would call a healthy ego.
You have high self esteem, but you don't think too highly of yourself.

You believe in yourself, but you are also able to believe in others.
You know how to put your ego in check and let someone else take the reins.

How Big Is Your Ego?

[Nateman]

Obama creme donut. (Hint: don't eat it , you don't want to know what kind of creme got injected!)

[sunny48]

Two informally dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport.

The first lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man.

The second was a well mannered elderly woman from the South.
When the conversation centered on whether they had any children, the California woman started by saying, “When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me.”

The lady from the South commented, “Well, isn’t that precious?”

The first woman continued, “When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz..

Again, the lady from the South commented, “Well, isn’t that precious?”

The first woman continued boasting, “Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet.

Yet again, the Southern lady commented, “Well, isn’t that precious?”

The first woman then asked her companion, “What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?”

“My husband sent me to charm school,” declared the Southern lady.

“Charm school?” the first woman cried, “Oh, my God! What on earth for?”

The Southern lady responded, “Well for example, instead of saying “Who gives a sh*t?” I learned to say, “Well, isn’t that precious”...

[lilylangtree]

The Caliph of Washington D.C. has proclaimed “WE ARE A MUSLIM NATION”. I assume Sharia Law will be implemented soon and all the ladies will be scurrying about trying to find an abaya or burka. The older fellows won’t have to grow a beard or buy a burnoose if they sign up for the new Medicare Proviso that exempts the seniors if they voluntarily cancel access to 911.

[martin_fierro]

Bacon Donut

[Nateman]

[envisio]

if you’re talking cigars tho.. its gotta be rum. beer not that bacardi fag crap either. a good, sipping rum, man's man beer like zaya. BuschLight.

Fixed that for ya.....;)