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$$$$ThE oFfIcIaL fRiDaY sIlLiNeSs ThReAd$$$$
National Donut Day ^
Posted on 06/05/2009 5:32:23 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
In light of Obama's "America Is A Muslim Country & Apology" Tour...
It goes without saying that Muslims are perhaps the least humorous folk on Earth; whereas Jews have learned to laugh at themselves, even turning that laughter into a business: Vaudeville. When I was growing up, my father never failed to tell me at least three jokes a day, most of them involving Jews and their eccentricities, customs, and travails. I'd like to continue that long tradition of Jews telling jokes, but with Muslims as the butt of the joke. You can't be civilized until you can laugh at yourself.
Perhaps in this way, someday, even radical fundamentalist Muslims may find themselves laughing. In fact, it would do my heart good to hear that a billion Muslims laughed themselves to death.
Many of these are probably in poor taste, to which I say tough camel titties.
Q: What do female Muslims use for birth control?
A: Their faces. [See photo above.]
Q. What's the difference between an American BBQ and an Islamic BBQ?
A. In America, Humans roast animals over a fire. In Islam, it's the other way around.
Q. What's the difference between Michael Moore and a one ton CARE package?
A. Michael Moore, if sliced real thin, can feed a larger Afghan village.
A Muslim father catches his son masturbating. He says, "Don't do that my son, or Allah will strike you blind."
The child says, "Abu, I'm over here."
Q. How many muslims does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. What's toilet paper?
Q. How many Muslim extremists will it take to destroy America?
A. None, American Government can do it all by themselves, thank you.
Mohammed heard one of his wives was leaving him, so he rushed home where he found her on the carpet in front of the tent with her belongings; he sat beside her and said, I heard you were planning to leave me?
She replied, Yes, I heard your other wives saying you were a pedophile!
Mohammed thinks for a minute or so and then responds, that's a mighty big word for a 6 year old."
George W. Bush and Tony Blair are at a White House dinner. One of the important guests walks over to them and asks what they are talking about.
"We are making up the plans for WW III", says Bush.
"Wow", says the guest. "And what are the plans?"
"We are gonna kill 140 million Muslims and one dentist", answers Bush.
The guest looks to be a bit confused. One...dentist?" He says. "Why will you kill one dentist?"
Blair pats Bush on the shoulder and says, "What did I tell you? Nobody is gonna ask about the Muslims."
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: donut; muslim; obamaapologytour; obamajokes; ofst; silliness
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Comment #2 Removed by Moderator
To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 66-442hot; ...
SILLINESS
CLICK HERE TO BE ADDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST
You Are a Boston Creme Donut |
You have a tough exterior. No one wants to mess with you. But on the inside, you're a total pushover and completely soft. You're a traditionalist, and you don't change easily. You're likely to eat the same doughnut every morning, and you pout if it's sold out. |
3
posted on
06/05/2009 5:35:55 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
(Revolution can't come soon enough......When is enough, ENOUGH?)
To: Lucky9teen
I’m laughing my head off ( just to beat a Muslim from doing it first)
4
posted on
06/05/2009 5:36:33 AM PDT
by
shadeaud
("If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten." -- George Carlin st)
To: Lucky9teen
5
posted on
06/05/2009 5:37:17 AM PDT
by
MortMan
(Power without responsibility-the prerogative of the harlot throughout the ages. - Rudyard Kipling)
To: Lucky9teen
6
posted on
06/05/2009 5:37:50 AM PDT
by
absolootezer0
(thank God for Chicago: makes Detroit look wholesome by comparison.)
To: Lucky9teen
7
posted on
06/05/2009 5:38:05 AM PDT
by
Rightly Biased
(We are all equal here but some of us are more equal than others.)
To: Lucky9teen
Beer and donuts. Dang, you have half the 4 food groups covered! Just add cigarettes and coffee, we’re good!
8
posted on
06/05/2009 5:39:16 AM PDT
by
Travis T. OJustice
(I can spell just fine, thanks, it's my typing that sucks.)
To: MortMan
9
posted on
06/05/2009 5:40:37 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
(Revolution can't come soon enough......When is enough, ENOUGH?)
To: Travis T. OJustice
coffee is for the week, switch to espresso
10
posted on
06/05/2009 5:41:13 AM PDT
by
absolootezer0
(thank God for Chicago: makes Detroit look wholesome by comparison.)
To: Lucky9teen
TOP TWENTY! WOO HOO!
11
posted on
06/05/2009 5:41:49 AM PDT
by
Rummyfan
(Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
To: Lucky9teen
Hey - How did you know of my special relationship with donuts?!?
Howz tings?
12
posted on
06/05/2009 5:43:11 AM PDT
by
MortMan
(Power without responsibility-the prerogative of the harlot throughout the ages. - Rudyard Kipling)
To: Travis T. OJustice
13
posted on
06/05/2009 5:43:33 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
(Revolution can't come soon enough......When is enough, ENOUGH?)
To: Lucky9teen
Awesome silliness this week. Thanks for keeping it going.
14
posted on
06/05/2009 5:43:36 AM PDT
by
CSM
(Business is too big too fail... Government is too big to succeed... I am too small to matter...)
To: CSM
15
posted on
06/05/2009 5:44:26 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
(Revolution can't come soon enough......When is enough, ENOUGH?)
To: Lucky9teen
Abu al-Zarqawi died and George Washington met him at the Pearly Gates. He slapped him across the face and yelled, “How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!”
Patrick Henry approached, punched him straight in the face and shouted, “You wanted to end our liberties but you failed!”
James Madison followed with a back-hand, kicked him in the nuts and said, “This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!”
Thomas Jefferson was next, and he proceeded to beat al-Zarqawi with a long cane and snarled, “It was evil people like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence, dammit!”
The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe, John Hancock and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the terrorist head honcho.
As al-Zarqawi lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeared. Al- Zarqawi wept and said, “This is not what you promised me, Allah! I was promised bliss in Heaven with 72 virgins!”
The Angel replied, “When I told you guys about ‘Allah’, I said specifically that there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said?”
16
posted on
06/05/2009 5:44:47 AM PDT
by
absolootezer0
(thank God for Chicago: makes Detroit look wholesome by comparison.)
To: absolootezer0
I drink coffee all week. No sugar.
Espresso is for hyper chicks.
17
posted on
06/05/2009 5:46:14 AM PDT
by
Travis T. OJustice
(I can spell just fine, thanks, it's my typing that sucks.)
To: MortMan
Hey - How did you know of my special relationship with donuts?!?
Obama told me
18
posted on
06/05/2009 5:46:27 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
(Revolution can't come soon enough......When is enough, ENOUGH?)
To: Travis T. OJustice
no, espresso is for those of us that have drank so much coffee that there’s not enough caffiene in it to effect us anymore.
hyper chicks don’t need extra caffiene.. that’s like feeding sugar to a ferret.
19
posted on
06/05/2009 5:48:19 AM PDT
by
absolootezer0
(thank God for Chicago: makes Detroit look wholesome by comparison.)
20
posted on
06/05/2009 5:56:04 AM PDT
by
BibChr
("...behold, they have rejected the word of the LORD, so what wisdom is in them?" [Jer. 8:9])
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