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$$$$ThE oFfIcIaL fRiDaY sIlLiNeSs ThReAd$$$$
Posted on 05/22/2009 5:51:14 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
USS RONALD REAGAN
Seeing it next to the Arizona Memorial really puts its size into perspective... ENORMOUS!
When the Bridge pipes 'Man the Rail' there is a lot of rail to man on this monster: shoulder to shoulder, around 4.5 acres. Her displacement is about 100,000 tons with full complement.
Capability
Top speed exceeds 30 knots, powered by two nuclear reactors that can operate for more than 20 years without refueling
1. Expected to operate in the fleet for about 50 years
2. Carries over 80 combat aircraft
3. Three arresting cables can stop a 28-ton aircraft going 150 miles per hour in less than 400 feet
Size
1. Towers 20 stories above the waterline
2. 1092 feet long; nearly as long as the Empire State Building is tall
3. Flight deck covers 4.5 acres
4. 4 bronze propellers, each 21 feet across, weighing 66,200 pounds
5. 2 rudders, each 29 by 22 feet and weighing 50 tons
6.4 high speed aircraft elevators, each over 4,000 square feet
Capacity
1. Home to about 6,000 Navy personnel
2. Carries enough food and supplies to operate for 90 days
3. 18,150 meals served daily
4. Distillation plants provide 400,000 gallons of fresh water from sea water daily, enough for 2,000 homes
5. Nearly 30,000 light fixtures and 1,325 miles of cable and wiring 1,400 telephones
6. 14,000 pillowcases and 28,000 sheets
7. Costs the Navy approximately $250,000 per day for pier side operation
8. Costs the Navy approximately $25 million per day for underway operations (Sailor's salaries included).
USS BILL CLINTON
The USS William Jefferson Clinton (CVS1) set sail today from its home port of Vancouver , BC.
The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton 'for his foresight in military budget cuts' and his conduct while holding the (formerly dignified) office of President.
The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots.It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which, although they cannot be launched on the 100 foot flight deck, form a very menacing presence.
As a standing order there are no firearms allowed on board.
This crew, like the crew aboard the USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs.
In times of conflict, the USS Clinton has orders to seek refuge in Canada.
White House Press Secretary Jesse Jackson issued the following: " This technological wonder is powered by the newest model Briggs & Stratton three horsepower engine and environmentally friendly hand paddles. Extra large white flags are ready to deploy at a moments notice. Government scientists are also working on top secret 'retro sails' which will allow this ship to make the fastest retreat of any ship in history"
An onboard Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.
USS BARACK OBAMA
He has no plan, no ideas and just like his presidency, no legitimacy.
This is what the increase in taxes on small business support!
These new sailors are filling all the new government jobs promised by the Democrats
This high tech vessel was christened by Rev. Wright
The USS Sharpton is currently under construction in Kenya while the SS Pelosi is being built from recycled Corona cans in Mexico
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: humor; laffs; memorialday; military; obamajokes; ofst; silliness
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To: ShadowAce
An I have today off! lotsa mowing to do with the new John Deere. It has a 54” mowing deck, Yeah!
21
posted on
05/22/2009 6:24:00 AM PDT
by
freebird5850
(O-Bomba is not the Messia. Jesus was a carpenter and could build a cabinet!)
To: Lucky9teen
22
posted on
05/22/2009 6:28:20 AM PDT
by
fleagle
( An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last. -Winston Churchill)
To: Lucky9teen
Woooooooooooohoooooooooooo in the top 25!
23
posted on
05/22/2009 6:31:10 AM PDT
by
rockabyebaby
(We are soooooooooooooooooooooooo screwed!)
To: Liberty Valance
Fox & Friends ARE The Thunderbirds!
24
posted on
05/22/2009 6:32:05 AM PDT
by
Liberty Valance
(Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
To: fleagle
That's awesome! Here's a photobomb for you...
25
posted on
05/22/2009 6:34:05 AM PDT
by
ovrtaxt
(Truly Constitutional money isn't just backed by gold and silver- it IS gold and silver.)
To: Lucky9teen
26
posted on
05/22/2009 6:35:53 AM PDT
by
bmwcyle
(American voters can fix this world if they would just wake up.)
To: bmwcyle
Camels on a submarine? What is that, Iran’s latest weapons upgrade? ;)
27
posted on
05/22/2009 6:40:17 AM PDT
by
G8 Diplomat
(I'm learning Arabic, Farsi, Urdu, Pashtu, and Russian so someday you won't have to)
To: Lucky9teen
That time of the week again?
To: ovrtaxt
Awesome. Right back at ya.
29
posted on
05/22/2009 6:46:07 AM PDT
by
fleagle
( An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last. -Winston Churchill)
To: Lucky9teen
Dude. The quiz got disabled. Probably the Leftists at Blogthings didn’t like the scores...
30
posted on
05/22/2009 6:56:54 AM PDT
by
Old Sarge
(There is no god)
To: Lucky9teen
31
posted on
05/22/2009 6:58:26 AM PDT
by
Monkey Face
(Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!)
To: Liberty Valance
Thunderbirds? Are you sure??
32
posted on
05/22/2009 6:59:59 AM PDT
by
Old Sarge
(There is no god)
To: 21stCenturion
33
posted on
05/22/2009 7:04:36 AM PDT
by
Monkey Face
(Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!)
To: Lucky9teen; All
A little Nancy Pelosi twist on the UK Guardians satirical political cartoon by Steve Bell.
34
posted on
05/22/2009 7:14:30 AM PDT
by
april15Bendovr
(Free Republic & Ron Paul Cult = oxymoron)
To: Lucky9teen
I’m technically challenged, so I am having difficulties with your tip on the quiz. Is the blogthings.com supposed to occur twice?
35
posted on
05/22/2009 7:15:33 AM PDT
by
CSM
(Business is too big too fail... Government is too big to succeed... I am too small to matter...)
To: Monkey Face; All
Try —
http://www.funstufftosee.com/frogleaptest.html
For some unfathomable reason, the lack of “www.” results in FAIL. With it, the link is sound ... Just tried it multiple times.
Sorry ‘bout that. This ISN’T the fun I was looking forward to when I posted this’n ...
36
posted on
05/22/2009 7:16:56 AM PDT
by
21stCenturion
("It's the Judges, Stupid !")
To: Lucky9teen
Nancy Pelosi’s ship is an invisible Waterboard.
37
posted on
05/22/2009 7:20:14 AM PDT
by
april15Bendovr
(Free Republic & Ron Paul Cult = oxymoron)
To: Old Sarge
38
posted on
05/22/2009 7:22:57 AM PDT
by
Liberty Valance
(Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
To: 21stCenturion
Okay, that took me way too many tries to figure out.
39
posted on
05/22/2009 7:25:33 AM PDT
by
Pan_Yan
(All grey areas are fabrications)
To: Lucky9teen
A man goes to the confessional. “Forgive me father, for I have sinned.” “What is your sin, my son?” the priest asks back.
“Well,” the man starts, “I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible.”
“When did you use this awful language?” asks the priest.
“Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 280 yards, but it struck a phone line that was hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards.”
“Is that when you swore?”
“No, Father,” says the man. “After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in his mouth and began to run away.”
“Is THAT when you swore?” asks the Father again.
“Well, no.” says the man. “You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!”
“Is THAT when you swore?” asks the amazed Priest.
“No, not yet,” the man replies. “As the eagle carried the squirrel away in his claws, it flew over a bit of forest near the green and the squirrel dropped my ball.”
“Did you swear THEN?” asked the impatient Priest.
“No, because as the ball fell, it struck a tree, bounced through some bushes, careened off a big rock, and rolled through a sand trap onto the green and stopped within six inches of the hole.”
Silence filled the confessional until the Priest sighed and said, “You missed the f**king putt, didn’t you?”
40
posted on
05/22/2009 7:27:38 AM PDT
by
Pan_Yan
(All grey areas are fabrications)
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