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Post some good jokes

Posted on 03/29/2009 7:41:27 PM PDT by A_cool_guy

I know some jokes, but I don't know any good political jokes!! Could everyone post some good jokes here?

Thanks,

A_cool_guy


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: comicrelief; freepun; humor; jokes; molassesmiasma; monkeyface; monkeyfacerules; penguinhumor; sionnsar; trolltimer; undeadthreadapril; zot; zotemifyougotem; zotthenewbie
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1 posted on 03/29/2009 7:41:27 PM PDT by A_cool_guy
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To: A_cool_guy

Barack Hussein Obama and Joseph ‘Plugs” Biden are President and Vice President of the United States.

(oh...you said a GOOD joke...not just a joke)


2 posted on 03/29/2009 7:42:56 PM PDT by Christian4Bush (Washington couldnt tell a lie. Clinton couldnt tell truth. Barney Frank cant tell the difference.)
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To: A_cool_guy


Welcome to Free Republic ;o)
3 posted on 03/29/2009 7:43:37 PM PDT by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life)
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To: A_cool_guy

IBTZAB !


4 posted on 03/29/2009 7:43:48 PM PDT by stylin19a (Obama - the ethically excepted asterisk administration)
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To: A_cool_guy
Tim Geitner
5 posted on 03/29/2009 7:44:48 PM PDT by JaguarXKE
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To: A_cool_guy; darkwing104; Old Sarge

Did you hear the one about the Troll who signed up to get the Zot?


6 posted on 03/29/2009 7:44:51 PM PDT by Grizzled Bear ("Does not play well with others.")
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To: A_cool_guy

“I think Zero is a pretty cool guy. eh uses teleprompters and doesn’t afraid of anything.”
_______________________________

OK. Internet meme. ;)


7 posted on 03/29/2009 7:45:47 PM PDT by RushIsMyTeddyBear (Obama dozed.....people froze.)
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To: A_cool_guy

Obama

HAHAHAAA...LOL


8 posted on 03/29/2009 7:46:09 PM PDT by 4Speed
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To: A_cool_guy

IBTZ


9 posted on 03/29/2009 7:50:29 PM PDT by BenLurkin (And oh, Hey! I've been travelin' on this road too long)
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To: A_cool_guy

President Obama has promised tax cuts.


10 posted on 03/29/2009 7:50:57 PM PDT by scott7278 (Obama, Klaatu barada nikto!)
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To: A_cool_guy
WelcomeTo FreeRepublic!
11 posted on 03/29/2009 7:51:04 PM PDT by ButThreeLeftsDo (Fight Crime. Shoot Back.)
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To: A_cool_guy
Sec. of State Clinton plays a prank on her Russian counterpart
12 posted on 03/29/2009 7:53:32 PM PDT by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, Liberals would have no standards at all. -- Texas Eagle)
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To: A_cool_guy
Joe Biden tells wheelchair-bound man to stand up
13 posted on 03/29/2009 7:54:42 PM PDT by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, Liberals would have no standards at all. -- Texas Eagle)
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To: A_cool_guy
"This is a guy who lives in my neighborhood, who's a professor of English in Chicago, who I know and who I ... He's not somebody who I exchange ideas from on a regular basis.

ROFLMAO!

14 posted on 03/29/2009 7:54:47 PM PDT by smokingfrog (When the baker can't make a profit, nobody gets a piece of the pie!)
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To: A_cool_guy

From my email box...

CREATIVE PUNS FOR “EDUCATED MINDS”

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir
Cumference.He acquired his size from too much pi .

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan
island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was
a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder
and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.
The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
One hat said to the other, ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.
Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said:
‘Keep off the Grass.’

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.
When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, ‘No change yet.’

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from
prison was a small medium at large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned
veteran.

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

23 1/2. When cannibals ate a clown they said it tasted funny.

24. Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

25. Psycho rapist runs away from crime-—Nut, screws and bolts.


15 posted on 03/29/2009 7:55:10 PM PDT by Keith in Iowa (ESPN MNF: 3 Putzes talking about football on TV while I'm trying to watch a game.)
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To: A_cool_guy

Two contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House.

One is from Chicago , and the other is from Texas .

The Texas contractor does some measuring and figuring, then says, I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me.

The Chicago contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, $2,700.

The official, incredulous, says, You didn’t even measure like the other guy!

How did you come up with such a high figure?

The Chicago contractor whispers back, $1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Texas to fix the fence.

Done! replies the government official.

And that, my friends, is how the new stimulus plan will work.


16 posted on 03/29/2009 7:55:19 PM PDT by Dave W
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To: A_cool_guy


Still breathin'?
17 posted on 03/29/2009 7:55:56 PM PDT by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life)
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To: A_cool_guy
A little more to the left....

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Smile, and wait for the flash.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

18 posted on 03/29/2009 7:56:34 PM PDT by Delta 21 (If you cant tell if I'm being sarcastic...maybe I'm not.)
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To: A_cool_guy
Obama over-inflates his plan to reduce America's demand on foreign oil
19 posted on 03/29/2009 8:00:41 PM PDT by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, Liberals would have no standards at all. -- Texas Eagle)
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To: Dave W

That is not the version I heard...LOL!


20 posted on 03/29/2009 8:00:42 PM PDT by KittenClaws ("The state rubs the lotion on its skin, then it places the lotion in the basket". ~ Dead)
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