From my email box...
CREATIVE PUNS FOR “EDUCATED MINDS”
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir
Cumference.He acquired his size from too much pi .
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan
island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was
a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder
and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.
The police are looking into it.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
One hat said to the other, ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said:
‘Keep off the Grass.’
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.
When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, ‘No change yet.’
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from
prison was a small medium at large.
20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned
veteran.
21. A backward poet writes inverse.
22. In democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.
23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
23 1/2. When cannibals ate a clown they said it tasted funny.
24. Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!
25. Psycho rapist runs away from crime-—Nut, screws and bolts.
Lol - thanks for the chuckles.
Then there was my brother, who is so slow he didn’t get his birth mark until he was six!
Puns so bad they’re good.
New tagline...
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A cannibal at a Pentecostal missionary. Didn’t taste bad, but he kept throwing up his hands.