Post some good jokes

[A_cool_guy]

I know some jokes, but I don't know any good political jokes!! Could everyone post some good jokes here?

Thanks,

A_cool_guy

[Tax-chick]

Evening! Catastrophe here - DP just broke his thumbnail, and has to rush to the nail salon at Wal-mart or he won’t be able to play the guitar tomorrow.

[fanfan]

I'm so sorry to hear that.

*ROFLOL* Sorry. *snort*. Sorry again.

Until I read the last part you wrote, about the guitar playing, I was picturing your husband breaking a nail, and screeching, and rushing to the nail salon! And he is, but, LOL.....

I had to read it twice.......I thought “did she say tooth?”

Now I understand, but thanks for the laugh!

LOL! Good thing you mentioned the guitar!

[Tax-chick]

Yes, it’s for the guitar! He can’t play flamenco and mariachi without his fingernails. The shop owner has to do it herself; the regular manicurists don’t know how to do a “reconstruction” for a string musician. He’s in there every few weeks.

[fanfan]

Sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude.
It just struck me as funny, and I needed a good laugh.

I didn’t know that he’s a musician. I thought he and you just played and sang for enjoyment.

[fanfan]

Sang?

I’m losing my mind.

[Tax-chick]

No worries, it is funny to have him scurrying off to the nail salon ;-). We enjoy music, of course, but we have obligations most Sundays for the Spanish service at our church - including next Sunday, and we practice on Wednesday night, so the nail repair couldn’t wait. We also play “professionally,” with our other choir members/musicians, for some special services such as baptisms, memorials, and quinceaneras (Mexican girls’ 15th-birthday observance).

We haven’t done any weddings yet, but I’m sure we will eventually. A number of the Mexican and Central American couples haven’t been married in the church, due to the situation in those countries, and our deacon is noodzing them.

[fanfan]

noodzing?

[Tax-chick]

Yiddish term. (My mom is from Northern Ireland, but she grew up in inner-city Philadelphia, with interesting linguistic results for the family.)

It means “giving regular little hints and employing a certain amount of guilt in order to persuade.” It’s good for the couples to be married in the church, especially if they have children!

The ceremony can be as simple as coming by the priest’s or deacon’s office with a few friends for witnesses. However, some people will want more of a celebration, but not want to pay one of the “real” bands that play for receptions and parties. Our group is strictly church performances, and DP and I (and Bill and Elen) do some casual playing at picnics or Folk Society set-arounds, but we’re in no shape to quit our day jobs!

[NicknamedBob]

"Why were they calling you “Guten Morgen”, Sionnsar? Did they mix you up with a Finnish passenger?"

"Guten Morgen" is German for "Good Morning". But it is also possible that Sionnsar was looking a little fishy.

[ThomasThomas]

I thought it was nudulizing?

[fanfan]

Ah.
I've been trying this ‘noodzing’ thing with my daughter.
No luck so far.
;-)

...but not want to pay one of the “real” bands that play for receptions and parties.

LOL, you are a real band!
Good for you.

Has anyone mentioned the Partridge family? I always liked them.

[fanfan]

I’m Herring you, Bob.

[sionnsar]

"Guten Morgen" is German for "Good Morning," fanfan. My beard and curled moustache give me something of a southern German appearance (Schwabian or Bavarian); something not common in much of Europe OR America. A small irony is that in both German regions the common morning greeting is "Gruss Gott!" (God is great), not "Guten Morgen".

But per NnBob, not being obviously American is a good thing. Keep 'em guessing.

[sionnsar]

Morning 'Face, though I know you're probably gone for the evening. The "White Nights" are close -- at 5 AM I was awake, in part by the light, in part the by the d****d seagulls sounding off.

Since I had a little time, I uploaded three photos.

Here is a square that I can see from my hotel room, back of the hotel. I'm not sure of its name, Kammpi or Varinkka or something else depending on the map, but it's next to/above the massive downtown bus station (to which, ironically, the airport bus does NOT go). The picture doesn't show it but it is COLD -- I was happy I had packed a pair of gloves. And yet I remember seeing one fellow walking across it eating a ice-cream cone. Think of eating such outside at Christmas and you get the idea. One of the interesting things I'm seeing in Finland is the architecture. In general Scandinavian architecture is stark and boring, but in Finland the modern buildings often try to invoke older styles, which in turn evoke traditional elements. This photo may not capture much of that, but it does a little.

"Henry's Pub" -- English is everywhere. (I wonder who the "Henry" is who's being invoked. I may have time to figure it out. Or not. It was a little loud last evening. The Finns seem to be into bands.)

Shot from my hotel room window a half-hour ago at 5:30 AM. Hard to see, 2/3 to the left, 2/3 to the top, but there is a dome atop a spire, rising into the sunrise -- that is apparently an architecturally famous church (map says "Tuemio kirkko / Dom kyrka / Church") that is on my list of places to visit when I have time to tour. It's probably 10 - 15 minutes' walk from here.

But now I must go and prepare for the day. Later...

[HKMk23]

Nice work. Have you got your 25mil EPDM pond liner and protective underlayment, yet??

If not, FreepMail me off-forum.

[HKMk23]

Nice photos. You’re riht about the buildings; the place just screams “austere!”

Enjoy the cool weather. I spent all day out in the heat laying down irrigation for a friend. Tomorrow, it appears that I may have the inestimable privilege of crawling underneath someone’s house to route 220V power to their kitchen.

[Tax-chick]

Good morning! It’s Wednesday!

[Tax-chick]

[Tax-chick]

Update: DP was not able to get his nail fixed last night. Turns out they *don’t* stay open until 9:00! But Bill got his hair cut, I think.

I’m making bread to use up the rotten bananas and some leftover chocolate chips. The girls can take it to a neighbor when it’s done.

[NicknamedBob]

Overripe bananas, T-C. Overripe.

Unless you're saying something about your neighborliness I don't think you meant to say.