Look closely...
Posted on 03/09/2009 1:50:19 PM PDT by OneVike
How To Tell If You're An Extreme Redneck.....
It's time to lighten up a bit and take a break from the stress of reality for a bit and laugh.
1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.
5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
6. Someone in your family died right after saying, 'Hey, guys, watch this.'
7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
9. Your junior prom offered day care.
10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines. '
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
You wreck your truck to collect the insurance money.........to make your truck payment.
When you hear the phrase ‘Just say no to crack’, you hitch up your pants.
You use a screwdriver to unlock your front door...
Ping to my Southrun FRiends!
Chech out the pictures on my Home/About page (at the bottom)
You’ve ever hit a deer with your car, deliberately.
It's "Hold muh beer and watch this!"
Directions to your house include, “Turn off the paved road.”
You’ve ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
You use a screw driver to unlock your front door.
Hey I do that.
You have more tattoos than teeth.
Shopping for the weekend bar-b-que consists of cruising the highway for road kill.
And turn right at the three-legged barking dog that answers to the name of "Lucky!"
Your house doesn’t have any curtains - but your truck does.
Eat more possum
1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke crack at the dinner table in front of her kids.
2. The Blue Book value of your Saab goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
3. You have 8 children by 8 different mothers
4. You think a woman who is out of your league plays for the WNBA.
5. You wonder how McDonalds keeps their rest-rooms so clean.
6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "There's no rat poison in this heroin".
7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8. Your baby-mama's hairdo was once mistaken for snakes.
9. Your junior prom offered day care.
10. You have no idea what "The Star Spangled Banner" is.
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your tenement building exploded.
12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your baby-mama.
13. You go down to the corner store to get a Colt 45 from the fridge.
14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
16. You have no interest in marrying any of your baby-mamas.
17. You have no idea why anyone would wash dishes when the cockroaches will lick them clean.
You have ever lost a tooth opening a beer bottle.
Look closely...
Don’t you folks ever watch Jeff Foxworthy do his Blue Collar Standup routine?
“If you mow your lawn and find a car...You might be a redneck”
“If you have a complete salad bowl set that all say “Cool Whip” on the side... you might be a redneck!”
*If you were late for your fourth grade class because you had jury duty...you might be a redneck!”
and many more!!!
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