[OneVike]

Lets see how many we can add.

[freebird5850]

You wreck your truck to collect the insurance money.........to make your truck payment.

[WorkingClassFilth]

When you hear the phrase ‘Just say no to crack’, you hitch up your pants.

[John123]

You use a screwdriver to unlock your front door...

[Travis T. OJustice]

Ping to my Southrun FRiends!

[Just another Joe]

You’ve ever hit a deer with your car, deliberately.

[Doomonyou]

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, 'Hey, guys, watch this.'

It's "Hold muh beer and watch this!"

[Just another Joe]

Directions to your house include, “Turn off the paved road.”

[Just another Joe]

You’ve ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

[detective]

You have more tattoos than teeth.

[Just another Joe]

Your house doesn’t have any curtains - but your truck does.

[ArrogantBustard]

How to tell if you're an extreme "Inner-City Thug"

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke crack at the dinner table in front of her kids.
2. The Blue Book value of your Saab goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
3. You have 8 children by 8 different mothers
4. You think a woman who is out of your league plays for the WNBA.
5. You wonder how McDonalds keeps their rest-rooms so clean.
6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "There's no rat poison in this heroin".
7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8. Your baby-mama's hairdo was once mistaken for snakes.
9. Your junior prom offered day care.
10. You have no idea what "The Star Spangled Banner" is.
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your tenement building exploded.
12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your baby-mama.
13. You go down to the corner store to get a Colt 45 from the fridge.
14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
16. You have no interest in marrying any of your baby-mamas.
17. You have no idea why anyone would wash dishes when the cockroaches will lick them clean.

[Just another Joe]

You have ever lost a tooth opening a beer bottle.

[Snickering Hound]

Look closely...

[Pharmer]

Don’t you folks ever watch Jeff Foxworthy do his Blue Collar Standup routine?

“If you mow your lawn and find a car...You might be a redneck”

“If you have a complete salad bowl set that all say “Cool Whip” on the side... you might be a redneck!”

*If you were late for your fourth grade class because you had jury duty...you might be a redneck!”

and many more!!!

[Just another Joe]

And as a last one

You prepare for a bubble bath by eating beans.

[Sax]

[autumnraine]

Two doors down the hall on the left is always followed by “don’t forget to jiggle the handle”.

[SkyDancer]

You may be a redneck pilot if...

• Your stall warning plays Dixie.
• You get your pre-flight briefing from the Phsycic Hotline.
• Your cross country flight plan uses flea markets as checkpoints.
• You think sectional charts should show trailer parks.
• You've ever used moonshine as Avgas.
• You have mudflaps on your wheel pants.
• Your toothpick keeps poking your mike.
• You've ever just taxied around the airport drinking beer.
• You wouldn't be caught dead in a Grumman Yankee.
• You use a Purina feed sack for a wind sock.
• The side of your airplane has a sign advertising your septic tank service.
• Your aircraft has a hitch.
• You constantly confuse Beechcraft with Beechnut.
• You think GPS stands for Going Perfectly Straight.
• You refer to formation flying as "we got us a convoy".
• You're matched set of luggage is three grocery bags from Piggly Wiggly.
• You've ever fueled your airplane from a mason jar.
• You've got a gun rack on the passenger window.
• You have more than one roll of duct tape holding your cowling together.
• Your preflight includes removing all of the clover, grass, and wheat from your landing gear.
• You figure the weight of the mud and manure on your airplane into the CG calculations.
• You siphon gas from your tractor to put in your airplane.
• You've never landed at an actual airport though you've been flying for years.
• You've ground looped after hitting a cow.
• You consider anything over 100' AGL to be high altitude flight.
• There are parts of your airplane labeled John Deere.
• You've never actually seen a sectional but have all of the Texaco road maps for your flying area.
• There's exhaust residue on the right side of your aircraft and tobacco stains on the left.
• You have to buzz the strip to chase off the sheep and goats.
• You use your parachute to cover your plane.
• You've ever landed on the main street of town to get a cup of coffee.
• The tread pattern, if any, on your main tires doesn't match.
• Your primary comm. radio has 90 channels.
• Your comm antenna is over 7 feet long.
• You call up the tower with "Breaker Breaker"
• You have fuzzy dice hanging from the magnetic compass.
• You put hay in the baggage compartment so your dogs don't get cold.
• You use you landing light for hunting.
• Your flight instructor's day job is at the community sales barn.
• You've got matching bumper stickers on the vertical fin.
• There are grass stains on your propeller tips.
• The FAA still thinks you live at your parents' house.
• Your hangar collapses and more than 4 dogs are injured.
• When starting the prop you injure five dogs.
• Somewhere on your airplane is an "I'd rather be fishing" bumper sticker.
• You navigate with your ADF tuned to exclusively country stations.
• When you go to the airport cafe they hand you biscuits and gravy instead of a menu.
• You think that an ultralight is a new sissy beer from Budweiser.
• You siphon Jat-A out of your King Air for your space heater.
• Just before the crash, everybody at the airport heard you say, "Hey, Y'all watch this!!"

[christianhomeschoolmommaof3]

I seriously consider before filling up the gas tank on my Explorer. I wonder if it is going to die before I use all the gas. I am not a redneck but I am a SAHM. Oh the joys of living on one income. LOL!

[LanaTurnerOverdrive]

When you listen to a lame stand-up comic tell the same joke for twenty years.