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Man gets 3-6 years in chicken, fork assaults
Grand Haven Tribune ^ | 12/12/08 | AP

Posted on 12/15/2008 9:57:19 AM PST by DouglasKC

Man gets 3-6 years in chicken, fork assaults

JACKSON (AP) — An Ypsilanti man will spend at least three years in prison for attacking a woman with 10 pounds of frozen chicken after stabbing his mother with a fork.

Jackson County Circuit Judge John McBain on Thursday sentenced Frederick McKaney, 40, to three to six years.

McKaney pleaded guilty in October to felonious assault and domestic assault.

Prosecutors said McKaney stabbed his mother with a fork at her house and later exchanged words with another woman as he rode a stolen bicycle. They said McKaney hit her in the head with a plastic bag of frozen chicken, opening a wound that required five surgical staples to close.

Defense attorney Phillip Berkemeier said McKaney was provoked by the second woman, who used a racial slur. McKaney is black, and the victim is white.


TOPICS: Local News
KEYWORDS: assault; chicken; crime; fork; freepun; hatecrime
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I don't know which is worse...the chicken or the fork.
1 posted on 12/15/2008 9:57:20 AM PST by DouglasKC
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To: DouglasKC

Which came first? the chicken or the fork?...............


2 posted on 12/15/2008 9:57:57 AM PST by Red Badger (Never has a man risen so far, so fast and is expected to do so much, for so many, with so little...)
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To: DouglasKC

Fowlonious assault?...........


3 posted on 12/15/2008 9:59:06 AM PST by Red Badger (Never has a man risen so far, so fast and is expected to do so much, for so many, with so little...)
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To: Red Badger

She was probably egging him on.


4 posted on 12/15/2008 9:59:56 AM PST by JEH_Boston (Never give up.)
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To: Red Badger

It will never fly.


5 posted on 12/15/2008 10:00:28 AM PST by IrishPennant (Patriotism is strongest when accompanied by bad politics, loyal FRiends and great whiskey)
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To: DouglasKC

“... frozen chicken, opening a wound that required five surgical staples...”

Revenge of the Yardbird


6 posted on 12/15/2008 10:00:48 AM PST by Enosh (†)
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To: Red Badger
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: To hit on the other side.

7 posted on 12/15/2008 10:00:56 AM PST by DouglasKC
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To: DouglasKC

The Chicken Forker?


8 posted on 12/15/2008 10:01:59 AM PST by JRios1968 (Sarah Palin is what Willis was talkin' about!)
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To: DouglasKC

A civil lawsuit was considered and abandoned as damages were thought to be chickenfeed.


9 posted on 12/15/2008 10:04:12 AM PST by NoControllingLegalAuthority ((Barack Obama...stuck on stupid and idle as the world races by him like a bullet train...)
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To: DouglasKC

He should just claim he is a demorat...then they will blame the whole thing on the chicken - and Bush.


10 posted on 12/15/2008 10:04:21 AM PST by IrishPennant (Patriotism is strongest when accompanied by bad politics, loyal FRiends and great whiskey)
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To: DouglasKC

I didn’t know “looser” was a racial slur.


11 posted on 12/15/2008 10:04:30 AM PST by MaxMax (I'll welcome death when God calls me. Until then, the fight is on)
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To: DouglasKC

I can’t imagine having to spend 3 to 6 years in a chicken!


12 posted on 12/15/2008 10:05:55 AM PST by the_devils_advocate_666
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To: JRios1968

The motherforker was henpecked.


13 posted on 12/15/2008 10:06:26 AM PST by NoControllingLegalAuthority ((Barack Obama...stuck on stupid and idle as the world races by him like a bullet train...)
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To: DouglasKC

The solution is obvious: We need a three day waiting period for frozen chickens..........


14 posted on 12/15/2008 10:06:47 AM PST by Red Badger (Never has a man risen so far, so fast and is expected to do so much, for so many, with so little...)
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To: DouglasKC

0bama’s going to be forking us pretty soon.


15 posted on 12/15/2008 10:08:43 AM PST by LiberConservative (That temperatures are actually falling now illustrates how fast the world is warming.)
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To: NoControllingLegalAuthority

That’s no way to address this forking board!


16 posted on 12/15/2008 10:11:06 AM PST by JRios1968 (Sarah Palin is what Willis was talkin' about!)
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To: DouglasKC
They said McKaney hit her in the head with a plastic bag of frozen chicken, opening a wound that required five surgical staples to close.

Defense attorney Phillip Berkemeier said McKaney was provoked by the second woman, who used a racial slur. McKaney is black, and the victim is white.

He should be charged with a hate crime if he hit her with white meat....

17 posted on 12/15/2008 10:12:08 AM PST by DouglasKC
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To: IrishPennant

It will never fly.

It will in this.............

18 posted on 12/15/2008 10:13:22 AM PST by Red Badger (Never has a man risen so far, so fast and is expected to do so much, for so many, with so little...)
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To: IrishPennant

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicken_gun


19 posted on 12/15/2008 10:14:09 AM PST by Red Badger (Never has a man risen so far, so fast and is expected to do so much, for so many, with so little...)
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To: Red Badger

One of my favorite episodes


20 posted on 12/15/2008 10:22:01 AM PST by IrishPennant (Patriotism is strongest when accompanied by bad politics, loyal FRiends and great whiskey)
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