Knock Knock...
Who's there?
Kenya
Kenya Who?
Kenya tell me where Obama was born?
Q: What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a crooked lawyer?
A: Barack Obama
Posted on 11/07/2008 4:46:27 AM PST by Lucky9teen
MINE
O....k.....
"Math is HARD! End division now!"
“I’m worried, because if [Obama] wins, black people are going to have to come up with another excuse. You can’t blame the Man when you ARE the Man.” - Wanda Sykes
Soylent Green: Recylcing one person at a time.
Maybe Obama could lead the way here too!
LOL
I broke three ribs laughin’. You will get a bill from my doctor soon.
The Soylent Green Party: People Feeding People
My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings,
bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be
able to monitor my moods.
We’ve discovered that when I’m in a good mood, it
turns green. When I’m in a bad mood, it leaves a
big frickin red mark on his forehead.
Maybe next time he’ll buy me a diamond. Dumb a$$.
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: ‘Hello’
WOMAN: ‘Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?’
MAN: ‘Yes’
WOMAN: ‘I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only $1, 500. Is it OK if I buy it?’
MAN: ‘Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.’
WOMAN: ‘I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2008 models. I saw one I really liked.’
MAN: ‘How much?’
WOMAN: ‘ $12 5,000’
MAN: ‘OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.’
WOMAN: ‘Great! Oh, and one more thing...the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking $2 ,050,000’ for it.
MAN: ‘Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $1, 850,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $2 00,000 because it’s really a pretty good price.’
WOMAN: ‘OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much!’
MAN: ‘Bye! I love you, too.’
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.
He turns and asks: ‘Anyone know who this phone belongs to?’
A man boarded a plane with 6 kids.
After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, ‘Are all of those kids yours?’
‘No,’ he replied, ‘I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints.’
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive....so, I took her to a gas station..... and then the fight started....
********************************************************
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream. And that’s when the fight started.
************************************************************************
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too’
And that’s when the fight started.....
***********************************************************************
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’
‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.’
‘My God!’ says my wife, ‘Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’
And that’s when the fight started....
************************************************************
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, ‘I AM NOT HAPPY!!!’
So, I looked down at him and said, ‘Well, then which one are you?’
And that’s when the fight started.....
************************************************************************
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
‘I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.’
He said, ‘Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?’
‘Nah, she can order for herself.’
And that’s when the fight started.....
Thanks :)
Thanks... I needed that
Bwahahahahahahahah
Evening Lucky. how ya been doin’?
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