****The Official Friday Silliness Thread****

www.someecards.com ^

[Lucky9teen]

Agggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...April 15th is coming.................aaaggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....

 

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POINTS TO PONDER:

If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?

What's the definition of an accountant?
Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.



What's the definition of a good tax accountant?
Someone who has a loophole named after him.

For every tax problem there is a solution which is straightforward, uncomplicated and wrong.

People who complain about paying their income tax can be divided into two types: men and women.


Due to taxation, politicians find it increasingly difficult to reconcile their net incomes with their gross habits.

To err is human - and to blame it on the Government is even more so.

Death: to stop paying taxes suddenly.

Where there's a will there's a tax shelter.

Tax loopholes are like parking meters. As soon as you see one they're gone.

A dollar saved is bound to be taxed.

The ideal solution is for the Government to live within its means not yours.

Some say that nobody should keep too much to themselves. The tax office is of the same opinion.

[envisio]

What if she is not...?

[Deaf Smith]

Forest Gump finally died of old age and was on his way to Heaven. He was stopped at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter.

St Peter: Welcome Forest. Before you can enter, you have to answer three questions.

Forest: Okay.

First, how many days of the week begin with the letter *T*?

Forest: Two

Good. Just for the sake of it, what are they?

Forest: Today, tomorrow.

St Peter checks in with God and tells him what Forest said.

God: Yep, that's Forest alright.

St Peter: Forest, how many seconds are in a year? Think hard about your answer.

Forest: Twelve.

Twelve? Forest, how did you come up with that?

Forest: Well...there's January 2nd, February 2nd...

St Peter checks back with God.

God: Technically Forest is right. Pass him on this and go for the third question.

St Peter: Forest, what is Jesus Christ's first name.

Forest: Andy.

ANDY? Forest, how in the world did you come up with that?

Forest: Well...It's just like the song says "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me..."

[Red Badger]

Then you use another three words, “I don’t know”.............

[ex-Texan]

Time for Some Humor on Free Republic !

Music Video: "With Every Breath Bernanke Takes" . . . Enjoy !

That is the Dean of the Columbia University School of Business singing in the music video. Hubbard served as deputy assistant of the U.S. Treasury Department and as a consultant to the Federal Reserve Board, Federal Reserve Bank of New York and many government agencies.

He also is somewhat of a prophet, having correctly predicted in 2006 what is actually happening now.

[Dems_R_Losers]

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie.

Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."

So he tied her up and went golfing.

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A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, he was told, he would have to take an eyesight test. The clerk showed him a card with the letters

C Z W I X N O S T A C Z

"Can you read this?" the clerk asked.

"Read it?" the Polish guy answered. "I know the guy!"

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Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them,

"I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."

"Thank God," said and elderly nun in the back. "I am so tired of chardonnay."

[envisio]

Dang.

[Sax]

[Deaf Smith]

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NEVER TICK OFF A NURSE

A big shot attorney had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his staff. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him.

The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She came into his room and announced, “I have to take your temperature.” After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth.

“No, I’m sorry,” the nurse stated, “but for this reading, I can’t use an oral thermometer.”

This started another round of complaining but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind.

After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, “I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!”

She left the door to his room open on her way out. He cursed under his breath as he heard people walking past his door, laughing.

After a half hour, the man’s doctor came into the room.

“What’s going on here?” asked the doctor.

Angrily, the man answered, “What’s the matter, Doc? Haven’t you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?”

After a pause, the doctor confessed..... “Not with a carnation.”

[ErnBatavia]

SuperBat.....I like it.

[weegee]

Can't go wrong with a thread titled: Friday Fun: "The 10 biggest movie explosions"

[Sax]

Help! SuperBat!!

[Zeppelin]

might i add that the government has your money as an interest-free loan?

if you had that money the entire year, you could stick it in the bank and at least break even with inflation. but the government has it, so your money is actually worth LESS when you get it back than it was when the government took it!

just thought i’d brighten your day a little...

[weegee]

Democracy inaction.

[CSM]

No this is just plain silly!

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1999455/posts

[weegee]

[Sax]

Now this looks rather omnious.

[weegee]

“Warning! Lorena Bobbitt!!!”

[envisio]

There is a way around that.

Don’t have any withholding from your paycheck.

Put a certain amount of money into an interest earning account ever payday. At the end of the year...pay the taxes you owe out of the account.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

see more crazy cat pics