Posted on 03/28/2008 3:56:43 PM PDT by WFTR
The last thread I hosted was called "The Bucket List" and was based loosely on a movie that I'd never seen. I'm repeating the idea of threads about movies I've never seen again this week. In my defense, this one wasn't my idea. Someone else suggested a discussion of platonic friendships between men and women and the idea from the "Harry met Sally" movie that those friendships can't exist. I'm going to add an idea from a news story this week in part because the story seemed amusing and in part because I wonder whether there is a connection.
From what I've heard, the idea behind the movie When Harry Met Sally is that men, or at least Bill Crystal's character, believe that they can never have a truly platonic relationship with a woman because they'll eventually want to have sex with that woman. I don't remember whether this idea applies only to situations where the man feels a strong physical attraction to a woman or whether any man will eventually want to have sex with any woman. Apparently, "Harry" claims that this desire will eventually doom the friendship because the man won't be able to endure the stress of the unfulfilled desire.
The second part of the topic is a short article that was published this week claiming that the happiest marriages are those where the woman is more physically attractive than the man. The whole article is only a few sentences and can be found at http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,340869,00.html. Important points in the article include the fact that only 82 couples were included in the study and that they had been married only six months. The study that led to the article requires a subscription to read, so I don't know whether the details of the study strengthen the idea.
Combining these topics leads to several points of discussion.
First, do you agree with the idea that men and women cannot form platonic friendships? Are those friendships destined to be disrupted by sexual desire on one side or the other? If so, does that desire generally come from the man? If those friendships are possible, what are the factors that lead to those friendships and what are the factors that make them impossible? Is appearance a big part of the equation?
Secondly, do you agree with the idea that marriages will generally be better if the woman is more attractive than the man? Obviously, if you're a guy, you're going to look at any couple and find the woman more attractive, but in a more objective sense, will the relationship be stronger if the woman is more attractive? If you're a gal, you're likely to see things just the opposite, but the same question applies.
I know what you mean. I still watch some sports, but I become frustrated by what they’ve often become. The problem isn’t just that the players are making too much money. The problem is that there’s so much money to be made in something that shouldn’t be that important. I’m not saying that the government should do something about the situation. That’s the last thing our society needs. I’m just amazed that so much or our productivity is going into some of these sports.
Yeah me too. The hospital rules are so tough. It is heartbreaking when you are the person’s only person and visa versa.
2. Yard work
3. Buy tires for my car.
we’ve agreed to marry if we’re single once we’re too old for sex...
Would you let me know what year that is??
“What’s Chris Rock’s take on platonic friends? I don’t listen to him.”
A man with a woman “friend” is just a guy that was trying to get laid, screwed up and wound up in the “friend zone.”
A male “friend” to a woman? A d*ck in a glass case. In case of emergency, break open glass!”
-Chris Rock
Been there too.
I hadn't thought of this situation, but you're the second person to mention it. I guess I've just never been there.
Regarding attractive, I'd say that you can use whatever definition you please. Imagine your ideal man in terms of appearance. Would he seem to be a good fit for a woman who is not at all attractive physically? To me, the interesting part of your answer is that when you described "a Man," you didn't describe any physical attributes. Do you have any physical preferences?
Paying off credit cards is a good thing. I'm much more excited by the idea of a woman who is financially responsible than I am by the idea of a woman who lives in debt.
I had a good friend I used to go to the blues clubs with. We always had a great time and enjoyed ourselves. He eventually told me he felt a great deal more for me than just friendship. I didn't. After that......we tried to maintain a friendship.. but he needed a more permanent, involved relationship....so we went our own ways.
On the second question......I don't think it really matters. I've dated handsome and homely men.....but personality and intelligence catches my eye moreso than looks.........BUT... there is a certain "look" that will turn my head. :P
I think women are willing to date a less attractive man if he has money and buys her lots of stuff;-)
I’m still not sure whether I believe that women are really taking looks into account to a great extent. I think they notice looks, but I’m not sure how much they are really drawn to looks. More than anything else, I think women are drawn to self-confidence, but guys who look good tend to grow up with self-confidence.
Yard work seems to be the popular way to spend that extra hour of daylight. Would that be your first choice or are you just stuck with doing the work because it must be done?
Chris Rock’s take is interesting, but again, he must not have had as many unattractive, married, or work friends as I have. I’ve often gone into friendships with no intention of having sex someday.
“I’d still love to have someone with whom to throw frisbee in a park somewhere.”
Pinging Dog.
“... way too fugly to be that much of a b*tch.”
I’m stealing that!!!
I had to chuckle when I read that. I've been totally out of debt (with the exception of my house) twice in the past 10 years. After going to college for the past 3 years and living on student loans to get 'er dun..... I will be on the wire for awhile. That makes me more of a hindrance than a help....in the dating world. So.....if most guys think like that....I can hang it up for the next 5 years. :)
Well... someone has to do it! lol. I have a couple acres partially cleared. The trees have dropped a million limbs... so I’m raking and burning.....every chance I get. I love “gardening”.....but hate yardwork.
Many of the women at the plant where I work are very attractive and have great non-physical attributes. Many of them are married, so I have to keep things on a friendship level for that reason, but I also try to keep things on a friendship level for the sake of professionalism. I'm sometimes talking to one of them and think, "She's perfect. She's smart, treats me well, and is beautiful." However, I work hard not to let those thoughts linger or dwell on these women as anything other than platonic friends and co-workers. When feelings start to make the top wobble, I have to get control of my feelings quickly.
Regarding looks, do you think personality and intelligence are as big a priority to most men as they are to you?
Are you saying that I should get a dog?
There's no "most" of any group of people that sees things the way that I do.
I wish I were closer to your neck of the woods. I like chopping up branches with the machete and burning. I’d come to the next bonfire. I don’t care for mowing, weed eating, or any other aspects of tending a yard, but I can burn dead stuff with the best of them. Of course, if I had that much land, I’d also have a tendency to drag stuff into a brush pile in the woods somewhere because brush piles tend to attract birds.
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