Replies

I tend to agree with your analysis. If the friendship is meeting the needs of both people and neither of them sees the other as the way to meet other needs, then a platonic friendship may work very well. The problem is that once something falls out of balance, things can crash very quickly. I think of a spinning top that would suddenly have something stuck on one side. The loss of balance would make the top fall. Maintaining that balance requires that both people make an effort to maintain the balance.

Many of the women at the plant where I work are very attractive and have great non-physical attributes. Many of them are married, so I have to keep things on a friendship level for that reason, but I also try to keep things on a friendship level for the sake of professionalism. I'm sometimes talking to one of them and think, "She's perfect. She's smart, treats me well, and is beautiful." However, I work hard not to let those thoughts linger or dwell on these women as anything other than platonic friends and co-workers. When feelings start to make the top wobble, I have to get control of my feelings quickly.

Regarding looks, do you think personality and intelligence are as big a priority to most men as they are to you?