Posted on 01/07/2007 5:46:51 PM PST by SandRat
Edited on 01/07/2007 8:14:36 PM PST by Admin Moderator. [history]
NEVER SAY TO A COP
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are You Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7 You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the Officer says "Gee Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
Gee, officer. I only had tee martwoniees!
Do you know this from personal experience?
12. When the Officer says "Gee Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
Ray and Earl were driving in Ray's pickup truck, home from the bar. They had a six-pack of Bud in the front seat with them, and were working through it. "Oh-oh", sez Ray. Looks like the cops are gonna pull us over! "No problem", sez Earl. And he peels the labels off two bottles of Bud and hands one to Ray, and tells him to put it on his arm, and Earl hides the rest of the six-pack under the seat. When the cop comes to the window he asks, "Have you guys been drinking?" "No, sir," Earl replies, and Ray and Earl both show the officer their arms. "We're on the patch!"
I did ask....
He followed me from a student housing complex for several blocks before "hitting the blues", when I had stopped at another apartment complex to make a delivery.
As I returned to the truck, I muttered to myself "What's this a$$h*le going to do, give me a parking ticket?"
When he finally asked me "Do you know why I pulled you over", I looked him in the eye and said, "No, not really!"
He proceeded to tell me that because my son (aged 12 at the time) was with me, and the door was open, that he was in danger of falling out and getting hurt.
I asked him if there was a law concerning it, he said no.
I snatched my license from his hand, bid him goodbye and went about my business....
lol!
Pity you chose to react as you did.
A few years back, I was driving, in a bad mood, to a Drs. appointment, when I saw a cop on a bike pull out behind me. Swearing, I quickly put my seat belt on, but he came up alongside and motioned me to stop. I accelerated which is a dumb thing to do against a bike. He just caught me up and I had to stop. When I wound my window down,and spat at him I had to get to the Drs. he sat with his hands in his lap and said:
"When I drive behind you, I can see your front wheels are off side. This is called crabbing, because your front end is out of alignement. You should get it fixed, because it costs you money. And next time, put your seat belt on before you see me, not after. That'll save you money too. Good luck at the Doctors" And took off to my laughing "Thanks".
Sometimes they really are just trying to help.
I always bucked wearing a seat belt, but did it lot more after that.
I always knew you were wise. Now I'm sure of it.
Only to be said with authority. "Officer, the number 70 on that speed sign are wrong."
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