Gee, officer. I only had tee martwoniees!
Ray and Earl were driving in Ray's pickup truck, home from the bar. They had a six-pack of Bud in the front seat with them, and were working through it. "Oh-oh", sez Ray. Looks like the cops are gonna pull us over! "No problem", sez Earl. And he peels the labels off two bottles of Bud and hands one to Ray, and tells him to put it on his arm, and Earl hides the rest of the six-pack under the seat. When the cop comes to the window he asks, "Have you guys been drinking?" "No, sir," Earl replies, and Ray and Earl both show the officer their arms. "We're on the patch!"