Posted on 11/06/2006 7:57:25 PM PST by 60Gunner
When I decided to become a nurse, I made up my mind from the beginning that I wanted to work in the Emergency Room. I have never worked anywhere else as a nurse. Besides being a constant source of challenge and education, being an ER nurse has other benefits. Here are just a few:
1. The look on a belligerent drunk's face when you explain to him or her EXACTLY where that big ol' tube is going.
2. Wearing your pajamas to work.
3. The sense of awe that you get when looking at some of the things you find in an abdomino-pelvic X-ray on a Saturday night.
4. Getting paid to say, "Relax. This'll only hurt for a few seconds."
5. Learning how to compare the appearance of potable fluids with bodily fluids.
6. Learning how to keep a straight face when you hear a patient say "I swear to God- I have NO IDEA how that got there."
7. Learning how to suppress the urge to laugh uncontrollably until after your leave your patient's room.
8. Meeting girls. Or boys. Or something that isn't quite either of those but makes for interesting breakroom conversation.
9. Grossing your annoying in-laws out when you tell them EXACTLY what their London Broil looks like.
10. Learning how to use bedpans for skis in the parking lot on a snowy day.
11. Learning to identify ANYTHING that could possibly be used as an emesis basin in less than one second.
12. Job security through December 2394 with overtime and shift differentials.
13. An endless supply of subject matter to introduce whenever the dinner table conversation becomes boring.
14. Playing with sharp objects.
15. Running with scissors.
16. Using leather straps without having to wear a black latex outfit.
17. Learning how to make a scared kid smile.
18. Learning how to make a smiling punk scared.
19. The look of awe on a pretty woman's face when you tell her, "Yeah, it's just like the TV show."
20. Developing an appreciation for the intricacies of the human body as you help the MD crack a gangbanger's chest to play "Find the bullet."
21. Humming "I've Got You Under My Skin" while scrubbing the real estate out of a drunk car surfer's road rash.
22. Having an alibi for your insanity ("Oh, he's an ER nurse." "Ahhh... That makes sense.").
23. Learning how to think faster than you ever imagined you could when your patient's cardiac rhythm suddenly changes from stable to lethal.
24. Seeing and appreciating the intricate ballet of the code team when an outside observer sees only chaos and blood.
25. Learning how to give an intramuscular injection so smoothly that when you finish, your patient says, "Ooh, you're good!"
26. Learning how to start an IV upside down while bending over.
27. Learning how to sense a change in your patient's condition before the monitors and taking action before she goes into ventricular tachycardia.
27. Getting a license plate frame that says: "ER NURSE- PASS ME NOW, SEE ME LATER."
Just saw he will be on AMC Saturday night in a restored "Taxi Driver"!
I'm cracking up..
I hate to see an et tube not secured, or hear the schush of a ventilator and the patients chest doesn't rise...
I asked the boy, "What brings you here tonight?"
"Go ahead. Tell him!" the boy's mother snapped.
"I put something in my butt."
Well, that explains the hum, I thought.
I finished the exam but was unable to auscultate abdominal sounds because they were obliterated by the hum. I wrote up my assessment findings and put the chart in the "Doctor to see" rack. The MD turned to me and said, "foreign body in rectum?"
"Yup."
"Still turned on?"
"It depends. Are you referring to the foreign body, or to the boy?" another nurse asked.
"Oh, ha ha!" said the MD as he went into the patient's room. Five minutes later he exited, biting his lip.
The MD ordered an abdomino-pelvic X-ray, and ten minutes later every nurse in the front section was in the X-ray reading room, staring in slack-jawed wonder at the pictures of the simply massive, anatomically-correct foreign object that was lodged far, far into the boy's lower bowel.
"Wow," one of the nurses said. "Just frigging wow."
Well, the doctor tells the Unit Coordinator (who of course runs the whole ER) to call up to MedSurg for a room for the boy, gives me a where do we find these people? kind of look, and goes into the room to inform the boy and his mother that the boy will be going upstairs.
I sat down to finish my charting and reviewed the patient's labs, imaging, and vital signs before calling the floor nurse to give report. As I worked, I heard the MD talking to the boy and his mother. I heard the MD say, "You know, kid, I gotta ask. Where on earth did you get that thing?"
After a few seconds of silence, the boy answered softly, "It's my mother's."
The Unit Coordinator looked at me, wide-eyed. The nurse next to me let out a little shriek, clapped her hands over her mouth, and bolted for the medication room. I just sat there with my head in my hands for awhile.
I called report, got the boy packaged up for the transfer, and the Emergency Department tech rolled the kid upstairs accompanied by his mother, who looked straight ahead without expression all the way past the nurse's desk.
Nobody laughed after they were gone. We were all simply mortified. We felt just awful for this kid's mom.
ping
LOL! Those are great! Give us more!
You know, isn't that the truth? I wonder if they spend the entire uncomfortable ride to the ER working on their stories?
Oh, those uniforms are out of style. We don't wear the caps anymore. ;0)
Thank you, Horatio. Here's hoping we never meet.
I could probably let the cap go....lol!
Christian news and commentary at: sacredscoop.com ...
ER Nursing Ping!
That is a rare and valuable skill.
Could you please add me to your ping list?
And my mentor, a real poineer of nursing, taught me that if I just lifted the tip of the patient's nose a little bit, it made the NG catheter tip slip past the sinus and into the nasopharynx a little easier. It wasn't completely without discomfort, but there was a definite difference.
Slipping a NG tube down an unconscious patient has a lot of risks- the biggest one is trauma to the larynx and bronchi due to going down the wrong tube. The best way to do it is with the patient wide awake, sitting bolt upright, and swallowing a glass of ice water as the tube is advanced to keep the epiglottis closed over the trachea.
I would be delighted, Huntress. Consider it done.
60
4. Getting paid to say, "Relax. This'll only hurt for a few seconds."
Pain is my friend but I like to jump real hard just as they're about to stick the needle into arm
10. Learning how to use bedpans for skis in the parking lot on a snowy day.
Or as storage containers for the big Mac's your relatives sneak into your room even though you on intravenous only.
11. Learning to identify ANYTHING that could possibly be used as an emesis basin in less than one second.
those lousy cheap sock/Slippers work real nice in a pinch
14. Playing with sharp objects.
One of my favorite pastimes
18. Learning how to make a smiling punk scared.
Learning how to make nurses scared by faking convulsions
23. Learning how to think faster than you ever imagined you could when your patient's cardiac rhythm suddenly changes from stable to lethal.
Learning how to make the heart monitor go wonky & watching the reaction on the desk nurses faces
25. Learning how to give an intramuscular injection so smoothly that when you finish, your patient says, "Ooh, you're good!"
I must run into al lthe first timers then- my arms look like heroine addicts arms when they're done with me
27. Getting a license plate frame that says: "ER NURSE- PASS ME NOW, SEE ME LATER."
Getting a liscence plate that say "I REFUSE any more NG tubes!"
Christian news and commentary at: sacredscoop.com ...
Christian news and commentary at: sacredscoop.com ...
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