4. Getting paid to say, "Relax. This'll only hurt for a few seconds."
Pain is my friend but I like to jump real hard just as they're about to stick the needle into arm
10. Learning how to use bedpans for skis in the parking lot on a snowy day.
Or as storage containers for the big Mac's your relatives sneak into your room even though you on intravenous only.
11. Learning to identify ANYTHING that could possibly be used as an emesis basin in less than one second.
those lousy cheap sock/Slippers work real nice in a pinch
14. Playing with sharp objects.
One of my favorite pastimes
18. Learning how to make a smiling punk scared.
Learning how to make nurses scared by faking convulsions
23. Learning how to think faster than you ever imagined you could when your patient's cardiac rhythm suddenly changes from stable to lethal.
Learning how to make the heart monitor go wonky & watching the reaction on the desk nurses faces
25. Learning how to give an intramuscular injection so smoothly that when you finish, your patient says, "Ooh, you're good!"
I must run into al lthe first timers then- my arms look like heroine addicts arms when they're done with me
27. Getting a license plate frame that says: "ER NURSE- PASS ME NOW, SEE ME LATER."
Getting a liscence plate that say "I REFUSE any more NG tubes!"
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