Yep.
Posted on 10/16/2006 12:08:33 PM PDT by areafiftyone
Rules for Living With a Dog
1. Dogs are never permitted in the house. The dog stays outside in a
specially built wooden compartment named, for very good reason, the dog house.
2. Okay, the dog can enter the house, but only for short visits or if
his own house is under renovation.
3. Okay, the dog can stay in the house on a permanent basis, provided his dog house can be sold in a yard sale to a rookie dog owner.
4. Inside the house, the dog is not allowed to run free and is confined
to a comfortable but secure metal cage.
5. Okay, the cage becomes part of a two-for-one deal along with the dog house in the yard sale, and the dog can go wherever he pleases.
6. The dog is never allowed on the furniture.
7. Okay, the dog can get on the old furniture but not the new
furniture.
8. Okay, the dog can get up on the new furniture until it looks like
the old furniture and then we'll sell the whole works and buy new
furniture...upon which the dog will most definitely not be allowed.
9. The dog never sleeps on the bed. Period.
10. Okay, the dog can sleep at the foot of the bed.
11. Okay, the dog can sleep alongside of me, but he's not allowed under the covers.
12. Okay, the dog can sleep under the covers but not with his head on
the pillow.
13. Okay, the dog can sleep alongside of me under the covers with his
head on the pillow, but if he snores he's got to leave the room.
14. Okay, the dog can sleep and snore and have nightmares in bed, but he's not to come in and sleep on the couch in the TV room, where I'm now sleeping. That's just not fair.
15. The dog never gets listed on the census questionnaire as ''primary
resident,'' even if it's true.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Strict House Rules for Stray Cats
Strict House Rules for Stray Cats
1. Stray cats will not be fed at this house, and are not to come inside for any reason.
2. Okay, the stray cat can hang around outside but will not be fed anything except dry cat food.
3. Okay, the stray cat will not be fed anything except dry cat food
moistened with a little milk.
4. Okay, the stray cat will not be fed anything except dry cat food
moistened with warm milk, yummy treats, and leftover fish scraps.
5. The stray cat will not be encouraged to make this house its permanent residence, and must stay outside and will not be petted, played with, or picked up and cuddled unnecessarily.
(It starts to rain. Stray cat is now looking in the window with a pitiful
expression.)
6. Okay, the stray cat can come inside but must stay in the sunroom and off the furniture.
7. Okay, the stray cat that is in the sunroom can be petted, played with, picked up and cuddled but will absolutely not be given a name.
(Having canvassed the neighborhood, finding no one to claim the stray cat…)
10. The stray cat will be allowed to visit all the rooms of the house, but
will not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen its claws on the furniture.
11. Okay, the stray cat will not be permitted to jump up on, or sharpen claws on the really good furniture.
12. Okay, the stray cat will be permitted on all furniture but must sharpen claws on new $114.99 sisal-rope cat-scratching post with three perches and must leave the dog alone.
13. Okay, the stray cat can sharpen it’s claws on the furniture and pester the dog, but must answer the call of nature outdoors in the sand.
14. Okay, the stray cat will answer the call of nature in the three-piece,
high-impact plastic tray filled with Fresh'n'Sweet kitty litter in the
sunroom.
15. Okay, the stray cat will answer the call of nature in the hooded litter pan with a three-panel privacy screen and plenty of head room, because the dog retaliated for the cat’s attacks by turning over the plastic tray and liberally applying kitty-litter to an entire floor in the house.
16. The stray cat can sleep in the house, but will sleep in a cardboard box lined with an old blanket.
17. Okay, the stray cat will sleep in the special Kitty-Komfort-Bed with non-allergenic lambs wool pillow. But under no circumstances will the stray cat be allowed to sleep in our bed.
18. Okay, the stray cat will be allowed to sleep on our bed, but must stay at the foot and not under the covers.
19. Okay, the stray cat may sleep in our bed under the covers but must stay at the foot, and away from the dog.
20. Okay, the cat and dog can both sleep anywhere they want as long as they stop getting everyone in the house out of bed at regular intervals every night.
21. Okay, the cat can sleep anywhere it wants, but the dog has to sleep in the sunroom!
Ain't it the truth.
kitty pinger
We are on the verge of getting a dog. I was thinking we would get a dog house and make it an outdoor dog. Thank you for setting me straight. You have saved me a lot of time, not to mention the expense of a dog house I would no doubt have been selling in a couple of months.
16. Okay, the dog can do whatever he wants. I just hope he continues to allow me to live in the house so that I may serve him better. I wonder if that old dog house is up for sale? Just in case. Winter's coming on, and I may need shelter.
Stray Cats can live on the porch in the "Cat House". Sign must read: "Cat House. For Cats Only!"
Huskie Dogs, (have two), can sleep on couch as long as dog cover in place.
Yep.
If you did get a Dog House - pretty soon e-bay would be your friend! LOL
Put dog food in dog dish.
Put cat food in cat dish.
Watch do run over to eat cat food.
Watch cat saunter over to eat dog food.
Dogs have masters, Cats have staff.
Standing rule in my house. The cats are not allowed to play in the dryer. Period.
Hey, when were you in my house?
The dog rules sound like my place........
Ve haf spies everywhere!
Those are darling! (And oh, so true!) Thanks for the smile!
We adopted our Ridgeback when she was seven months old. Decided we weren't going to let her in our room.
On the second night she throws up, we figure she was sick so we let her in bed with us. Next night - puked in the doorway of our room at bed time, we suspiciously let her in bed. Fourth night, back in the doorway, pukes again and looks at us for an invite - got scolded and sent to her own bed.
That was years ago - now she's in bed with us or our sons 2 out of 3 nights.
So that's what the cat that's always hanging around on my deck is up to.
Oh you mean Comrade Kitty?
We feed him, he comes into the house whenever he wants, he sleeps in the garage when it's cold and this is how he repays us? Bah, never again. Well, maybe just once more. And tomorrow too, since it's getting cold. But after that, never. Yep, never.
Do crate train your dog if it's a puppy. Best and fastest way to house-break them.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.