Let the Silliness Begin!
Posted on 08/25/2006 12:39:47 AM PDT by sully777
| You've Changed 44% in 10 Years |
 You're clothes, job, and friends may have changed some - but it hasn't changed you. |
| Your Power Level is: 78% |
 Keep on doing what you're doing, and you'll reach your goals. |
| You Are Mystique |
 You're eternally young looking, people don't realize how old you really are! Powers: Shapeshifting - you can impersonate other people or become a monster |
| You Should Weigh 185 |
 If you weigh more than this, you may be losing a few pounds soon! |
A bright young psychology major was assigned to help the psychology professor in conducting a personality test. The room was set up with various props in order to move through the assessment quickly. The first person to enter the room started through the test.
Student: "How does this glass of water look to you?"
Person 1: "It is half empty."
The student checks 'pessimist'.
Person 2 enters the room.
Student: "How does this glass of water look to you?"
Person 2: "It is half full."
The student checks 'optimist'.
Person 3 enters the room.
Student: "How does this glass of water look to you?"
Person 3: "Looks like you have twice as much glass as you need
there."
The student looks totally blank and must go consult with the psychology professor. "Oh them!", the professor laughs. "I forgot to warn you about the engineers! They have no personality."
| Your Emoticon Is Laughing |
 |
| You Are Coke |
 Just the right amount of sweet, just the right amount of energy... you're the life of the party. Your best soda match: Mountain Dew Stay away from:Dr Pepper |
Then r-q-tek walks in...
Student: "How does this glass of water look to you?"
r-q-tek: Looks like it don't got enough Jack Daniels in it.
| You Passed the US Citizenship Test |
 |
Not sure which one I missed.
* If a deaf person swears in sign language, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
* If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
* Is there another word for synonym?
* If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
* Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
* Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
* If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
* Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
* How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
* Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
* Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
* Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
* What was the best thing before sliced bread?
* Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do a "practice?"
* When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
* When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
* Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
* Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
* What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
* If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
* Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
* Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
* If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
* If a man falls in the forest, does a tree hear it?
* Does a mother hen tell her chicks bugs taste like chicken?
* Why do you park on the driveway, but drive on the parkway?
AND
Sign in an office window: We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left.
Veterinarians Waiting Room: Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
Sign on an electrician's truck: Let us remove your shorts
Maternity Clothes Shop: We are open on labor day
Non-smoking area: If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action
On Maternity Room Door: "Push,Push,Push"
On a Front Door: Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.
Optometrist's Office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
Scientist's Door: Gone Fission
Taxidermist Window: We really know our stuff
Podiatrist's Window: Time wounds all heels
Butcher's window: Let me meat your needs
Sign on Fence: "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive"
Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet -miss a car payment
Muffler Shop: No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming.
Hotel: "Help!" We need inn-experienced people
Dry Cleaners: Drop your pants here
Music Teacher's Door: "Out Chopin" Be "Bach" in a "Minuet"
At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."
Beauty Shop: Dye now!
Garbage Truck: We've got what it takes to take what you've got
Computer Store: "Out for a quick byte"
Restaurant Window: Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.
Bowling Alley: Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.
Cafeteria: Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.
Funeral Home: Drive carefully, we'll wait _ _.
Fun Things to Do at a Drive-Thru
1. Drive through the drive-thru in reverse and let your passenger order.
2. Ask the price of almost everything on the menu and then order something that you didn't ask the price for.
3. Tell the employee that your window is broken. Order and then pay with your door open. When the food comes, roll down the window and snatch your order from their hands.
4. Go to McDonald's and demand a big breakfast at 11:30 at night. Put up a fight.
5. Pay for a large order in pennies and nickels.
6. Order in another language. Be careful what neighborhood you're in.
7. When asked if they can take your order, tell them you are just window-shopping and drive on.
8. Laugh sadistically when asked if you would like ketchup.
9. Ask the cashier how they fit into that little box.
10. If they make you wait, make them wait when they come back on.
11. Demand to speak to the manager. When they come on, complain that you did not like the way the employee said, "May I take your order?"
12. When asked if they can take your order say, "Why, can I take yours?"
13. If they ask you to wait, order anyway and keep doing it till they yell at you.
14. Pretend your car has broken down. Ask for assistance moving it. When they come out, drive away.
15. Tell them you have to use the bathroom.
16. Order a cup of water and two napkins. That's it.
17. Don't order when they come on. Just sit there. If a line forms behind you, get out of the car and cause a scene.
18. When they hand you your food, hand them a bag with all the trash from your car in it.
19. Just stare at them when you pay and get your food. Don't break your stare.
20. Honk your horn the whole way through the line
You are in a room with a full bathtub and a utility sink.
You are presented with a bucket, a glass, and a tablespoon.
How would you empty the bathtub?
To reveal the correct answer, highlight the whitespace below. If you gave any other answer you probably need to be locked up.
Open the drain.
Shalom.
Student: How does this glass of water look to you?
ArGee: Thanks! <drains glass>
Er, was there a reason you called me here?
Shalom.
| You Are Most Like George W. Bush |
 And while you may be quite conservative now, you knew how to party back in the day! |
Why is bra singular but panties plural?
If you're going faster than the speed of light, what happens when you turn on your headlights?
If a man is talking in a forest with no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?
Shalom.
Don't take up skydiving.
Shalom.
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