The Official Friday Silliness Thread: Streams of Consciousness

hey, haven't seen ya in a few days, how's ya doing?

Good mornin Fredhead

Why was the Zombie surprised when his ghoulfiend showed up for their date at 11pm? He didn't ex-spectre until midnight.

Red Skelton is rolling over in his grave.

Dude, resize yer pics.

When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"…

Sorry, but the correct question is "How would Chuck Norris handle this?"

Shalom.

Mornin Yankee.

Howdy

May I suggest a minor modification?

Doctor: "I have bad news and good news."

Patient: "What is it?"

Doctor:"The bad news is that you have a prevously unknown and presentlt incurable fatal disease."

Patient: "Oh no -- but what could be the good news?"

Doctor: " I now know how I'm going to put my kid through college!"

Shalom.

Oh goody.....

Another thread with girlie pictures and no beefcake...

Ok, chickies,
Should I do something or not?

Just don't post David Hasselhoff.

I HATE David Hasselhoff.

Shalom.

That is kind of creepy.

Mongo like pancake

You ROCK.

For the poor, ignored females :)

Bless you najida...good ol' Sparky. :)

Damn fine vehicle, Victor!

We are not ignoring y'all. I promise.

Mornin RF.

And more for the wimmen's who like to look at purdy men.

WHAT MAKES WHERE YOU LIVE SPECIAL?

ALABAMA ... Was the first place to have 9-1-1, started in 1968.

ALASKA ... One out of every 64 people has a pilot's license.

ARIZONA ... Is the only state in the continental U.S. that doesn't follow Daylight Savings Time.

ARKANSAS ... Has the only active diamond mine in the U.S.

CALIFORNIA . Its economy is so large that if it were a country, it would rank seventh in the entire world.

COLORADO ... In 1976 it became the only state to turn down the Olympics.

CONNECTICUT ... The Frisbee was invented here at Yale University.

DELAWARE ... Has more scientists and engineers than any other state.

FLORIDA ... At 759 square miles, Jacksonville is the U.S.'s largest city.

GEORGIA ... It was here, in 1886, that pharmacist John Pemberton made the first vat of Coca-Cola.

HAWAII ... Hawaiians live, on average, five years longer than residents in any other state.

IDAHO ... TV was invented in Rigby, Idaho, in 1922.

ILLINOIS ... The Chicago River is dyed green every St. Patrick's Day.

INDIANA ... Home to Santa Claus, Indiana, which get a half million letter to Santa every year.

IOWA ... Winnebagos get their name from Winnebago County. Also, it is the only state that begins with two vowels.

KANSAS ... Liberal, Kansas, has an exact replica of the house in the Wizard of Oz.

KENTUCKY ... Has more than $6 billion in gold underneath Fort Knox.

LOUISIANA ... Has parishes instead of counties because they were originally Spanish church units.

MAINE ... It's so big, it covers as many square miles as the other five New England states combined.

MARYLAND ... The Oujia board was created in Baltimore in 1892.

MASSACHUSETTS ... The Fig Newton is named after Newton, Massachusetts.

MICHIGAN ... Fremont, home to Gerber, is the baby food capital of the world.

MINNESOTA ... Bloomington's Mall of America is so big, if you spent 10 minutes in each store, you'd be there nearly four days.

MISSISSIPPI ... President Teddy Roosevelt refused to shoot a bear here ... that's how the teddy bear got its name.

MISSOURI ... Is the birthplace of the ice cream cone.

MONTANA .. A sapphire from Montana is the Crown Jewels of England.

NEBRASKA ... More triplets are born here than in any other state.

NEVADA ... Has more hotel rooms than any other place in the world.

NEW HAMPSHIRE ... Birthplace of Tupperware, invented in 1938 by Earl Tupper.

NEW JERSEY ... Has the most shopping malls in one area in the world.

NEW MEXICO ... Smokey the Bear was rescued from a 1950 forest fire here.

NEW YORK ... Is home to the nation's oldest cattle ranch, started in 1747 in Montauk.

NORTH CAROLINA ... Home of the first Krispy Kreme doughnut.

NORTH DAKOTA ... Rigby, North Dakota, is the exact geographic center of North America.

OHIO ... The hot dog was invented here in 1900.

OKLAHOMA ... The grounds of the state capital are covered by operating oil wells.

OREGON ... Has the most ghost towns in the country.

PENNSYLVANIA ... The smiley emoticon :) was first used in 1980 by computer scientists at Carnegie Mellon University.

RHODE ISLAND ... The nation's oldest bar, the White Horse Tavern, opened here in 1673

SOUTH CAROLINA ... Sumter County is home to the world's largest gingko farm.

SOUTH DAKOTA ... Is the only state that's never had an earthquake.

TENNESSEE ... Nashville's Grand Ole Opry is the longest running live radio show in the world.

TEXAS ... Dr. Pepper was invented in Waco back in 1885.

UTAH ... The first Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant opened here in 1952.

VERMONT ... Montpelier is the only state capital without a McDonald's.

VIRGINIA ... Home of the world's largest office building ... the Pentagon.

WASHINGTON ... Seattle has twice as many college graduates as any other state.

WASHINGTON D.C. ... Was the first planned capital in the world.

WEST VIRGINIA ... Had the world's first brick paved street, Summers Street, laid in Charleston in 1870.

WISCONSIN ... The ice cream sundae was invented here in 1881 to get around Blue Laws prohibiting ice cream from being sold on Sundays.

WYOMING ... Was the first state to allow women to vote.

A man walked into a very high-tech bar. As he sat down on a stool he noticed that the bartender was a robot.

The robot clicked to attention and asked "Sir, what will you have?"

The man thought a moment then replied? "A martini please".

The robot clicked a couple of times and mixed the best martini the man had ever had. The robot then asked "sir, what is your IQ?"? The man answered "oh, about 164."

The robot then proceeded to discuss the 'theory of relativity', 'inter-steller space travel' 'the latest medical breakthroughs' etc.

The man was most impressed. He left the bar but thought he would try a different tactic. He returned and took a seat. Again the robot clicked and asked what he would have? 'A Martini please'. Again it was superb. The robot again asked "what is your IQ sir?'

This time the man answered "Oh about 100". So the robot started discussing Nascar racing, the latest basketball scores, and what to expect the Dodgers to do this weekend.

The guy had to try it one more time. So he left, returned and took a stool.... Again a martini, and the question "What is your IQ?"

This time the man drawled out " Uh, 'bout 50".

The robot clicked then leaned close and very, very slowly asked, "A-r-e y-o-u-r p-e-o-p-l-e
g-o-i-n-g t-o n-o-m-i-n-a-t-e H-i-l-l-a-r-y-?"