Posted on 08/15/2006 1:02:20 PM PDT by G8 Diplomat
Bored and need a laugh? Post any dumb comments you've made or heard here on this thread.
I'll start...
1. "Tuna smells like dead fish" --Me
2. "Yeah, I'll go to a sleepover, as long as it's at night" --my sister, several years ago
3. Anything a liberal has ever said
4. "Oh, you need equations to do this math problem?!" --someone in my sophomore algebra 2 class, two years ago
5. "Is an imaginary number one like 'eleventy one'?" --someone else in my Algebra 2 class
6. "If AM is amplitude modulation and FM is frequency modulation, what does XM stand for?" --someone in my physics class last year, and they were not joking when they asked this!
7. Me: "We could at least go to somewhere on a different continent for vacation"
My sister: "Yeah! We could go to Canada!"
8. "Whoa...Belgium's not in the Balkans?!" --someone in my history class
9. "Are the Faroes Islands in Egypt?" --my sister
10. "That sign says 'No Running, No Jumping, No Diving'. So what are we supposed to do at this pool? Swim?!" --some kid at the pool last year in Hawaii
We've lived in Wisconsin the great majority of our lives (all born here, but did stints for careers elsewhere) so of course we're major "Cheeseheads" and loyal Green Bay Packer Fans.
When our son was three, he used to love to sing a song titled "I Love My Green Bay Packers" but he got a little confused...he would sing "I love my Brown Graham Crackers!"
ROFLMAO! He's 19 now, and of course, I mention this to every new girl/friend within earshot because that's just the kind of Mom I am. ;)
"See that colored man over there? He is the oldest man in the world. You should go over and talk to him."
I proceeded to walk over and ask him, "Mister, what color are you?"
Such innocence at that age! BTW, we became good friends and I sat and listened to his stories for hours. I am truly blessed to have had that opportunity.
I went to a local bar to watch the Superbowl, while the National Anthem was playing the dough-headed blonde behind the bar says "Oh, I've heard this song before. What is it?".
I actually did a spit-take with my beer!
personally, if my sister showed this intellect level, I would not be so quick to post it on a public forum...
It's not a matter of intellect: we all make dumb comments from time to time. No one's perfctly smart 100% of the time.
It's not a matter of intellect: we all make dumb comments from time to time. No one's perfctly smart 100% of the time.
I heard this on the "Dr Dean" radio show years ago:
Caller: "What do you think of the new birth control drug Noassatol?"
Dr Dean: "Noassatol? I don't think I've heard of Noassatol... Noassatol?"
...long silence...
Dr: Dean: "Ok wiseguy, you got me!"
I know man... just bustin yer chops...
I used to be a Directory Assistance operator for Pacific Bell telephone company, so you can imagine the dumb comments I got from customers. My favorite was a woman who said her telephone cord was too long, and she wanted me to pull it from my end to make it the right length.
Do you have electricity there in Japan?
Mistress of malaprop, anyone? Home wasn't built in a day.
Congress is back in season. (No bag limit? ;))
You could have knocked me over with a fender.
Up at the crank of dawn.
Time wounds all heels.
Now, there's no use crying over spoiled milk.
I'm completely uninhabited.
I am his awfully-wedded wife.
I've always wanted to see my name up in tights.
He blew up higher than a hall.
I look like the wrath of grapes.
I wasn't under the impersonation you meant me.
He shot out of here like a bat out of a belfry.
He has me sitting on pins and cushions waiting.
The coffee will be ready in a jitney.
This hangnail expression . . .
I'm a member of the weeper sex.
We'll be together like Simonised twins.
I don't drink, I'm a totalitarian.
You can't judge a book by its lover.
Now, sit down and relapse, dear--remember your blood pleasure.
Well, you've got to take the bitter with the better.
The way things are these days, a girl's gotta play hard to take.
---Jane Ace, spoken on the radio classic Easy Aces.
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