Police Say Man Tried To Use Potato As Silencer For Gun

WFTV.com ^ | June 7, 2006 | unknown

[Lurker]

MIAMI -- Miami-Dade police say a man stuck a potato on the barrel of a gun, believing the spud would act as a silencer and muffle the shooting of a woman.

Police say Shane Thompson carved a hole in a potato with a spoon, stuck his gun inside and threatened to shoot the mother of his child. Thompson reportedly told her that no one would hear the shot, because of the potato's silencing qualities.

Police say he never fired the tater-tipped gun, but instead hit the woman several times. Thompson has been charged with false imprisonment, aggravated assault and battery.

While spuds are nutritious, the silencer potato is an urban legend dating to the 1920s. Thompson apparently isn't alone in believing the myth.

A Miami-Dade financial advisor was convicted in the early 1990s for shooting one of his clients to death with a gun topped with a potato. Crime scene technicians found the potato under her body.

[Lurker]

And now for something completely different.

L

[Spktyr]

I have it on good authority that plastic soda bottles work much better. :D

[DemforBush]

I propose a 7-day waiting period for all future potato purchases and an outright ban on deadly "Idaho Baker" assault spuds!

/sarc

[Mad Dawg]

I am just overwhlemed with the spuditity of this! Uh Stupidity. Ag Assault, battery, and terminal dumbness. THe guy is too lame to surivie outside of prison.

And the financial advisor? Leaving the tell-tale spud at the scene of the crime? Evidence of premeditation AND of not being smart enough to go out by himself.... The humiliation. THe vitim's last words were, "You CAN't be serious" and last thoughts were,"How could I have hired somebody so STUPID?"

[Lurker]

I've heard that as well.

L

[Hugin]

Paging Mythbusters...

[Lurker]

I get a really funny mental picture of this guy waving a pistol around with a potato on the end of it shouting at the top of his lungs.

I wonder if the ATF will go after him for attempting to manufacture a suppresor without the requisite licenses and tax stamps.

Can you imagine the jailhouse conversations?

"So, waddya in for?"

"Potato crime."

Do you think they'll assign him to the prison cafeteria as a cook?

L

[Lurker]

Depending on the caliber I think you'd either end up with a slightly charred potato or a serving of hash browns all over four walls, the ceiling, the floor, the shooter, and the victim.

L

[Hugin]

I think the idea is to drill a hole in the potato ahead of time, then slip it over the barrel. I read about that years ago, don't know if it really works or not.

[elcid1970]

This week's Darwin Award nominee!

[ClearCase_guy]

From My Cold Starchy Hands

[N. Theknow]

< Dirty Harry voice >

Well, punk.

Do you want fries with that?

< /< Dirty Harry voice >

[vox humana]

Thompson has been charged with false imprisonment, aggravated assault and battery, and stupidity in the first degree.

[Lurker]

It doesn't. All you do is get the gases to come out and the end of the hole in the potato instead of the end of the barrel.

There's a lot more to making a decent suppressor than just lengthening the barrel a bit, no matter what vegetable you use.

L

[caver]

I think he's confused. He was trying to make a potato gun.

[ASA Vet]

This week's Darwin Award nominee!

Mr Thompson is not qualified for a Darwin Award for at least two reasons.

1. He didn't die in the attempt, thereby removing himself from the gene pool.
2. He'd already passed his defective genes on. (The victim was the mother of his child.)

[herkbird]

I wonder if Idaho potatoes work better than the generic brands grown from all the other states. I imagine the guy looking over a box of the giant Baking P-Tater's wondering which one might work best, I wonder if you have to peel the tater or just drilling the hole is all that is needed. Maybe a bunch of side holes drilled through it and then wrap the tater with paper towels and mebbe some tin foil. LOL, I love this moron.

Is this new tater technology patent pending I wonder?

[Hegemony Cricket]

Very funny line! LOL!

[Vigilanteman]

If he put the hollowed out potato on the end of his pecker, it'd be a dick-tater, a very fitting title considering his overbearing dominance.