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Why We Hate Cats (I Take Exception To This Debbie Schlussel Column RRRRRRRR)
Debbie Schlussel.com ^ | 03/28/06 | Debbie Schlussel

Posted on 03/28/2006 2:53:41 PM PST by goldstategop

Yet another reason to hate cats: It now appears that felines may spread bird flu. In Germany, Austria, and even France, cats are being ditched left and right for that very reason.

And we don't mind one bit. We're not fans of cats. At all. Not even the annoying over-rated Andrew Lloyd Webber kind. They're as annoying as the real thing.

Dogs may be man's best friend. But cats are a complete waste of space and money. A dog will bark when an intruder approaches your home or, worse, breaks in. On the other hand, cats, instead of being loyal, are the prima donna chicks of pets. They like attention. They crave it. It's all about them. If a burglar breaks in, the cat makes nary a peep . . . and probably shows him where the jewelry and valuables are.

Now there's the bird flu. Not to mention, the fact that in parts of Asia they are: "Cats. The Other White Meat."

And then there's our theory (proven umpteen times over the years):

Men who own cats, well . . . they're a bit wimpy if not effeminate (just like cats). That doesn't mean you who have a cat because your wife or girlfriend or daughter wanted one, and you got suckered or nagged into getting one. It means you went out on your own and thought, "Gee, I need a pet on which to spend money, time, and attention. I think I'll get a kitty." He's like a man with a poodle . . . if you know what we mean.

That doesn't mean there aren't exceptions to the rule. But there are very few (if you are male and like what you read on this site, but own a cat of your own initial volition, you are probably one of those exceptions). And now, there's the bird flu to boot.

Preferred Pet of DebbieSchlussel.com


TOPICS: Pets/Animals
KEYWORDS: bigbadcathater; birdflu; cats; dogs; metrosexualtest; pets; rrrrrr
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To: colorcountry

I have 2 in the house, 2 in the garage and 4 on the deck. My husband is freaking out because the deck cats crapped in the flower pots all winter and now he insists I must scoop all the dirt out and put new dirt in and it's my fault LOL. I feed 8 cats, I must be nuts.


41 posted on 03/28/2006 6:24:30 PM PST by angcat (There is a Real Katrina Vanden Heuvel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
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To: goldstategop
If your cute widdle kitty cats were bigger they would EAT you. And they might not wait for you to die first.

Cats are evil and the only thing that keeps them in line is that we are so much bigger than them. :)

42 posted on 03/28/2006 6:30:55 PM PST by LibKill (Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin)
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To: LibKill
Cats are evil ...

I once, very briefly, had an illiterate, superstitious maid who really believed that.

I find it more than difficult to believe that anyone who posts to FRee Republic could type that with a straight face.

Needless to say, my cats outsmarted the maid quite often ... and spent their time finding new, exotic ways to torment her ... until she went screaming from the house one day ... and never returned .... [No loss!]     LOL


43 posted on 03/28/2006 7:30:16 PM PST by caryatid (Jolie Blonde, 'gardez donc, quoi t'as fait ...)
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To: goldstategop

I have a dog and a cat. My dog is no watch dog. I didn't care one way or another about cats until I met this mangy little Siamese mix we were sure would die. It's like the story "Millions of Cats". She is gorgeous and darling. My husand doesn't believe she's smart and just thinks she's good for keeping the dog entertained. But, the children and I love that silly kitty.


44 posted on 03/28/2006 7:34:50 PM PST by HungarianGypsy (I'm writing a post to a message board. I don't care if it's not grammatically perfect.)
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To: Mr. Mojo
You forgot one: pest control Mice can get into our house walls through a hole by our house. It just hasn't been filled up. My cat, Abby, is the one who noticed the thing trying to chew through the wall into the actual house. We let her walk around the areas it was and it has not been in the house. It seems to be gone.
During the summer we have found a few *ick* roach shells that our cat left behind when she killed them. Yay.
45 posted on 03/28/2006 7:38:06 PM PST by HungarianGypsy (I'm writing a post to a message board. I don't care if it's not grammatically perfect.)
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To: caryatid

Who said I typed that with a straight face? I was laughing out loud. :)


46 posted on 03/28/2006 7:45:53 PM PST by LibKill (Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin)
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To: RepoGirl

I believe you - my younger cat stands guard over me whenever he can.


47 posted on 03/28/2006 8:33:33 PM PST by Slings and Arrows (I am the Israeli Lobby.)
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To: MotleyGirl70
Oh, now that is one sassy little girl. I love that sly little smirk she's giving the camera.

My cats are all fat and psychotic, and two of them need helmets.

48 posted on 03/28/2006 9:19:08 PM PST by RepoGirl ("That boy just ain't right..." Hank Hill)
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To: goldstategop; rightwingintelligentsia; Killborn; Mr. Mojo; Dark Skies; Slings and Arrows; Glenn; ...
I am a guy who owns two cats and I'm not metrosexual or effeminate. I like cats because they're clean, mind their own business and aren't overly demanding of your time and attention and best of all, they don't need training to be socialized like dogs are.

Well said (imo). I'm a 59 year old male and have appreciated (loved) cats my whole life. I like them because they're a beautiful "machine, very efficient doing anything they do, they are stubborn and brilliant.

I also like them because they have a certain ability to tell you when you're a screw-up. Back in my wilder old days I ambled in around 3:00 a.m. all wasted from the night's excess. The cats had a way of looking at me and turning their head away with a slight backward tilt of their ears. They were just verifying that I was a fool.......... they were right.

;-)

49 posted on 03/29/2006 3:54:40 AM PST by beyond the sea (Claire De Lune - ........ 1862)
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To: grey_whiskers
Is that NINE?

Boy, they're beautiful! Is that one litter?

50 posted on 03/29/2006 3:56:04 AM PST by beyond the sea (Claire De Lune - ........ 1862)
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To: MotleyGirl70

cute kittie!


51 posted on 03/29/2006 3:57:16 AM PST by beyond the sea (Claire De Lune - ........ 1862)
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To: beyond the sea
Boy, they're beautiful! Is that one litter?

(Sheepishly) I don't know. I cribbed the photo from one of the crevo threads since it reminded me of my cat...

Cheers!

52 posted on 03/29/2006 5:16:52 AM PST by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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To: Lx

Not to mention summertime's exterminators par excellence. No creepy crawlers in this house anymore.

Any man who doesn't like the soft, furry animals, well, is just not a real man.


53 posted on 03/29/2006 5:29:01 AM PST by The Westerner
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To: Killborn
Beauregard the Viking Kitty reporting for duty. And as you can tell by the Condi Rice Death Glare(tm), he is not impressed.

}:-)4

54 posted on 03/29/2006 6:46:18 AM PST by Moose4 ("I will shoulder my musket and brandish my sword/In defense of this land and the word of the Lord")
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To: grey_whiskers
Well no matter................... nine of them together is beautiful!

;-)

Mom must have been just a little weary.

55 posted on 03/29/2006 7:05:07 AM PST by beyond the sea (Claire De Lune - ........ 1862)
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To: manwiththehands
Ah, so you'd have a problem with me. My cats lick their butts and I let them lick me. :) Meow!
56 posted on 03/29/2006 8:28:46 AM PST by Kaylee Frye
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To: goldstategop; Future Snake Eater
Men who own cats, well . . . they're a bit wimpy if not effeminate (just like cats).

Sure thing Debbie. Just tell that to all my big Army men who turn to Jelly over kitties. And then my cats will growl and hiss at you because you are not a nice person and they know it.

57 posted on 03/29/2006 8:33:28 AM PST by Kaylee Frye
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To: Kaylee Frye
My kittens used to bathe each other and me, too. Must be "pride" behavior. But they only licked my hands. And I always washed up my hands afterwords. ;-)
58 posted on 03/29/2006 9:43:01 AM PST by manwiththehands (A Republican is as a Republican does.)
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To: beyond the sea

Wow, that's cool. I like dogs and cats. So Mrs. Schussel's insult shall not commence unpunished. :)


59 posted on 03/29/2006 10:43:20 AM PST by Killborn (Pres. Bush isn't Pres. Reagan. Then again, Pres. Regan isn't Pres. Washington. God bless them all.)
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To: Moose4

Awww...

Oh, almost forgot...

KITTY JIHAD!


60 posted on 03/29/2006 10:43:45 AM PST by Killborn (Pres. Bush isn't Pres. Reagan. Then again, Pres. Regan isn't Pres. Washington. God bless them all.)
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