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How do you milk a moose, anyway?
Exeter News-letter ^ | 8/17/2004 | By Lara Bricker

Posted on 02/15/2006 10:51:23 AM PST by Red Badger

It all started over an innocent lunchroom conversation. A co-worker’s wife is a gourmet cheese maker in Maine. She had just been written up in the New York Times for her cheese-making ability and knew a thing or two about cheese.

But there was some news in the cheese-making world that had her cheese-making juices flowing, my co-worker told us. A man was apparently milking a moose and making cheese. He was charging $500 a pound. The cheese community was in "abuzz" over this moose-milking man. (Warning: If you try to say moose milking repeatedly, it becomes mook a milse). Since I was headed to Maine the very next week, I needed to know more about this moose milker. When an off-beat subject like this comes my way, I must find out more.

My co-worker returned with the sad news that the moose milker actually was in Sweden the country, not Sweden, Maine. I decided to find out all I could about this moose cheese on my own. The questions were endless. How does one milk a moose? How do they get the moose to stand still? Is it illegal to milk a moose? And why is it so expensive?

Somehow moose cheese doesn’t sound very appetizing to me. And so I turned to the logical place as I began my investigation into moose milk cheese: google.com. There was one story written by an Associated Press writer, which was picked up by every major news organization in the country - and beyond. According to the article, the moose cheese is made at a farm called (surprise) "The Moose House" in northern Sweden. The owners, Christer and Ulla Johansson, started milking moose seven years ago. Here’s another surprise: They claim they are the only moose dairy in Sweden. As it turns out, they’re not the only moose dairy in the world. They got the idea to milk a moose from some farms in Russia that also milk moose. They are, however, the only ones in the world who thought to make moose cheese.

The Moose House has 14 moose, but only "Haelga," "Gullan" and "Juna" are milked. The farmers found these three moose in the woods when they were only babes and had been abandoned. As a result, these three are tame enough to allow milking. The article goes on to say that the cheese is so expensive because the moose can only be milked for five months a year. It takes two hours to milk a moose and each moose produces a gallon of moose milk each day. The Moose House hopes to export some of this cheese at a later date. It is now sold to restaurants in Sweden.

Google.com also turned up a few other results for the search of "moose milk." As it turns out moose milk is the traditional Canadian Christmas drink, similar to our eggnog. But it’s not what you think. The yuletide version of moose milk is actually a mixture of sugar, water, rum and cream. In some recipes, the cream and sugar is substituted for vanilla ice cream. The Canadian moose milk sounds much better to me than the real thing in Sweden.

The moose cheese also gained interest on a message board for homesteadingtoday.com. Some of the new-aged homesteaders (like the ones featured in the show on public television) were considering milking moose. A man named Ken wrote, "One aspect about milking moose, you could just about do it standing up." I thought, good idea, Ken, because you would also be in a better position to run when the moose tries to kick, bite, stomp or squash you. A homesteader named George was on the same wavelength as me and wrote. "Moose bites can be very serious," George wrote. "My sister was bit by a moose once."

I now had more information about the moose milk cheese. But I was still having a hard time swallowing it. I couldn’t imagine that this cheese would taste good. All that came to my mind was sour milk for some reason. A few days later, I met my editor, Deborah, downtown in Exeter for a drink after work. I had to tell her about the moose cheese. A local man, who shall remain nameless, sat with us as I told about this moose cheese phenomenon.

"I’d like to milk a moose," he told us.

OK, that was more information than I needed, or wanted, to know. And I told him precisely that. It reminded me of the dinner scene in the movie "Meet the Parents" where Ben Stiller tells how he once milked a cat. His explanation was that you can milk anything with the proper female anatomy. Apparently that now includes moose.

The next stop on my moose milk cheese investigation was La Cave a Vin on Water Street. Some people suffer withdrawals from cigarettes. Well, I was suffering withdrawals from the mango stilton cheese that shop owner Laura Hartman served at her one-year anniversary party. I also knew if anyone in Exeter would know about moose cheese, it would be Laura. You see, she imports a variety of cheeses from all over the world to sell at her shop. Laura had never heard of the moose cheese. She surmised it would be a bit "gamey." I asked her if she thought anyone would actually buy moose cheese for $500 a pound. She pointed out that people will buy anything and predicted the moose cheese could go over big in New York City.

Still, I wondered, what would happen if someone managed to domesticate a moose around here? Could they milk that moose? I couldn’t imagine that would be legal, and so I called the State Fish and Game Department. I managed to connect with Sgt. Bruce Bonenfant in the law enforcement division. I was afraid he was going to think I was nuts asking about milking a moose. But my curiosity was in full gear at that point.

Bonenfant had never heard of someone milking a moose. First, he told me, you would have to be "in legal possession of a moose." Here in New Hampshire, that is totally illegal. It is however legal to own elk and several varieties of deer for agricultural purposes. So, New Hampshire could become the deer cheese capital of the world if any of the state’s deer farmers are so inclined. (Remember what our local cheese expert said: People will buy anything). Although I’m not a fan, I’ve been told venison is a very low-fat meat. With the latest trend of low-carb, low-fat dieting, deer cheese could be the next big thing. And at $250 per pound, it would be a bargain.

Bonenfant also told me that he couldn’t imagine how anyone could actually physically milk a moose. "They tend to be pretty wild animals," he said. "They’re not the type of animal you can really train." He said he only knows of one moose that has been trained - the one that used to walk across the road in the show "Northern Exposure." And even that moose wasn’t exactly trained. It was only trained to walk where the handlers directed it to go. It certainly wouldn’t stand still for two hours to be milked.

Then I had another thought. What if one of our state representatives sponsored a bill making it legal to possess a moose? A few moose cheese-making farms around the state and we could solve the state education funding crisis. In the meantime, I have found a location where all interested in trying moose milk cheese (when it becomes legal to import it) can taste the delicacy. As I was leaving the Foxfire Grill in Epping last weekend, I stopped to say hello to owner Rob Graham. He asked what I was writing about these days and I told him about the moose milk cheese. Enthusiastic as always, Rob told me he didn’t care if it was $500 a pound, he would host a moose cheese tasting. Any takers?

- Lara Bricker is a former staff writer for the Exeter News-Letter. She can be reached at larabricker@hotmail.com.


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Cheese, Moose, Sister; Chit/Chat; Humor; Pets/Animals
KEYWORDS: cheese; moose; sister
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To: ken5050

How many meeses have you milked?.......


21 posted on 02/15/2006 11:49:04 AM PST by Red Badger (And he will be a wild man; his hand will be against every man, and every man's hand against him...)
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To: Red Badger

Well, I was in Japan, so the heat and the humidity wouldn't be much different, but yeah, that was crappy always being in a suit at the height of summer.
I have always wanted to go to Florida, being a "Parrot-Head" and all. But the last few hurricane seasons have really got me second guessing.


22 posted on 02/15/2006 12:24:01 PM PST by Ragtop (We are the people our parents warned us about)
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To: Ragtop

I've been thru many hurricanes, David, Dennis, Ivan, Opal, Erin, and many tropical storms. Katrina was just down the way from here. I live less than a mile from the Gulf. It's not bad if you PREPARE! Metal roof, generator, lots of unperishable food, gas cooking and hot water. Most of my trees are gone now, so I don't have that problem anymore. Still digging up stumps though.......It has become a hobbie.......


23 posted on 02/15/2006 12:33:44 PM PST by Red Badger (And he will be a wild man; his hand will be against every man, and every man's hand against him...)
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To: Condor51
My sister once tried to milk a Moose - it bit her.

Did she have to take a shower then?

24 posted on 02/15/2006 1:25:12 PM PST by confederacy of dunces (Workin' & lurkin')
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To: Hap

Okay, I think we've finally found a cheese I won't try.


25 posted on 02/15/2006 1:27:36 PM PST by Xenalyte (Can you count, suckas? I say the future is ours . . . if you can count.)
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To: Red Badger
"Aren't the horns dangerous?......."

Elk don't have horns. Neither do deer.

26 posted on 02/15/2006 1:33:14 PM PST by Deguello
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To: Deguello

Okay, Antlers! Picky, picky!........


27 posted on 02/15/2006 1:35:50 PM PST by Red Badger (And he will be a wild man; his hand will be against every man, and every man's hand against him...)
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To: Deguello

Then these people need to change the name of their city......

http://www.elkhorncity.net/


28 posted on 02/15/2006 1:37:22 PM PST by Red Badger (And he will be a wild man; his hand will be against every man, and every man's hand against him...)
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To: Red Badger
Taking it further, only the males have antlers. If one has a problem dealing with the antlers, then they are milking the wrong sex.

Before I get hammered, there can be genetic problems that will cause a female to grow some antlers. This is the animal version of "strapping one on".

29 posted on 02/15/2006 1:47:03 PM PST by Deguello
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To: Ragtop

Any outbreaks of brain worm among the moose in Utah?


30 posted on 02/15/2006 6:13:23 PM PST by Westlander (Unleash the Neutron Bomb)
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To: Westlander

Not that I know of. But some of the people I know here are suffering from it. They're in their own little group. They're called "The Cache Valley Democrats".


31 posted on 02/16/2006 6:18:02 AM PST by Ragtop (We are the people our parents warned us about)
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To: Andy'smom; bradactor; politicalwit; Spunky; mplsconservative; don-o; boadecelia; freeangel; ...
**Food Ping**

Because you know you wanted to know.

32 posted on 04/27/2007 6:51:35 PM PDT by HungarianGypsy (Pass the popcorn.)
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To: HungarianGypsy

Reminds me of yak butter. I went to an IMAX movie about Mt. Everest. It was filmed at the time that group got caught in that freak snowstorm and so many died. Well, one of the guides, when he got back to his village, was so grateful that he survived that he held a religious ceremony of some kind and had hundreds of yak butter lamps burning.

Yak butter.


33 posted on 04/27/2007 7:29:36 PM PDT by metmom (Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
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To: Red Badger

Don’t think I will try Moose Cheese. I have used goat soap.


34 posted on 04/27/2007 7:37:57 PM PDT by armymarinemom (My sons freed Iraqi and Afghan Honor Roll students.)
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To: Ragtop

“Riding the bike wasn’t that bad, but the helmet just bugged me.”

Neighbor of mine had a garage sale and he wanted to sell some old steel bed pans he had collected from his grandmother, who was a hospital nurse. He spray painted them white, punched holes in the sides for chin straps. Sold them as antique racing bicycle helmets.


35 posted on 04/27/2007 8:22:28 PM PDT by BerryDingle
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To: Red Badger

Check out this book

http://www.amazon.com/How-You-Milk-Moose-Anyway/dp/1602641242/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1197574770&sr=1-1


36 posted on 12/13/2007 2:32:15 PM PST by MooseMilker
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