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Dick Cheney jokes
Posted on 02/14/2006 1:05:43 PM PST by nuconvert
Chuck Norris Dick Cheney jokes :
Dick Cheney doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Dick Cheney drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
Dick Cheney does not sleep. He waits.
Dick Cheney built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, CHeney met all three bullets with his fist, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Dick Cheney's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
If you can see Dick Cheney, he can see you. If you can't see Cheney, you may be only seconds away from death.
Dick Cheney has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
If you ask Dick Cheney what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face
Dick Cheney once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Dick Cheney is Luke Skywalker's real father.
Dick Cheneyis currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right hands.
Dick Cheney does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
It was once believed that Dick Cheney actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Cheney himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.
Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Dick Cheney.
On the 7th day, God rested.... Dick Cheney took over.
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: cheney; dickcheney; humor; jokes; norris
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1
posted on
02/14/2006 1:05:45 PM PST
by
nuconvert
To: snugs; Cinnamon Girl
2
posted on
02/14/2006 1:09:06 PM PST
by
Tax-chick
(My remark was stupid, and I'm a slave of the patriarchy. So?)
To: krb
3
posted on
02/14/2006 1:12:00 PM PST
by
wolfpat
(Dum vivimus, vivamus.)
To: nuconvert
"Dick Cheney has never blinked in his entire life. Never."
Highly possible in the proverbial sense.
4
posted on
02/14/2006 1:13:50 PM PST
by
peacebaby
(I'm fixin' to think about beginning to start to get ready to work)
To: scott says; AdmSmith
5
posted on
02/14/2006 1:16:36 PM PST
by
nuconvert
([there's a lot of bad people in the pistachio business])
To: nuconvert
My wife said some people think he is a "Dick."
To: wolfpat
7
posted on
02/14/2006 1:22:30 PM PST
by
krb
(ad hominem arguments are for stupid people)
To: Tax-chick
I like the one on Tony Snow and have turned it into a bumper sticker:
CHENEY/RICE
2008. Pull!
8
posted on
02/14/2006 1:26:25 PM PST
by
KC Burke
(Men of intemperate minds can never be free....)
To: nuconvert; PaulaB; Dashing Dasher; Jersey Republican Biker Chick; najida; teenyelliott; ...
9
posted on
02/14/2006 1:32:35 PM PST
by
Millee
(The Constitution was meant for us to live under, not be paralyzed by, in the face of death. - Sowell)
To: KC Burke
10
posted on
02/14/2006 1:32:50 PM PST
by
peacebaby
(I'm fixin' to think about beginning to start to get ready to work)
To: Millee
If you ask Dick Cheney what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face
LOL my kind of guy
11
posted on
02/14/2006 1:35:43 PM PST
by
PaulaB
To: PaulaB
That's why I've always worn a watch. ;o)
12
posted on
02/14/2006 1:37:46 PM PST
by
Millee
(The Constitution was meant for us to live under, not be paralyzed by, in the face of death. - Sowell)
To: KC Burke
13
posted on
02/14/2006 1:39:50 PM PST
by
Samwise
To: Millee
Good ones. Poor guy, this is gonna get worse before it gets better.
14
posted on
02/14/2006 1:39:52 PM PST
by
conservativebabe
("I went hunting with the VP and all I got was this lousy, holey t-shirt"- mewzilla)
To: nuconvert
Dick Cheney...before he dicks youSen. Patrick Leahy (D-GFY)
15
posted on
02/14/2006 1:41:45 PM PST
by
Snardius
(And you KNOW what I'm talking about...)
To: nuconvert
This is an old one, but it needs to be repeated.
Superman wears Dick Cheney pajamas.
16
posted on
02/14/2006 1:43:06 PM PST
by
chapin2500
(The road to hell is paved with liberals.)
To: chapin2500
17
posted on
02/14/2006 1:44:58 PM PST
by
nuconvert
([there's a lot of bad people in the pistachio business])
To: nuconvert
To: KC Burke
19
posted on
02/14/2006 1:46:44 PM PST
by
Tax-chick
(My remark was stupid, and I'm a slave of the patriarchy. So?)
To: conservativebabe
Don't ya just know that Quayle is secretly grateful to Dick Cheney? His spelling error pales in comparison.
20
posted on
02/14/2006 2:00:50 PM PST
by
Chanticleer
(May you be gruntled and combobulated in 2006.)
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