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**** Official Friday Silliness Thread **** (Festivus 2005 Edition)
OFST ^ | 12/23/2005 | AllOfUs

Posted on 12/23/2005 5:39:40 AM PST by BJClinton

Happy Festivus Everyone! For those that don't know what Festivus is, here's a source:

Wikipedia

While it was actually invented (like Kwanzaa) in 1966 in a Reader's Digest column it was made popular by an episode of Seinfeld.

The Festivus Dinner you'll have to take care of yourself, but I've provided a festivus Pole:



The feats of strength and airing of grievances will be addressed downthread.


TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Humor
KEYWORDS: airingofgrievences; featsofstrength; festivus; ofst; tgif; whostolethepole
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To: sure_fine

I married one (or maybe I am one)

One the first trip down US 17 to visit my floks after our wedding, my wife wanted to drive, but was not sure how to get there. I told her that I wanted to take a nap, and that she should stay on US 17 and wake me up when we got to New Bern. A few minutes later she wakes me up asking "Which way do I go?"

I asked her "What does the sign say?" (This was a big sign OVER the road that directed 17 Business - Vanceboro, 17 By-pass - New Bern)

She replied, "What sign?" as we went under it.

If you think that's dumb, read on.

I made her turn around and go back and read the sign.

That's when the honeymoon offically ended.


101 posted on 12/23/2005 7:19:04 AM PST by fredhead (The NAVY - Full Speed Ahead (or is it Astern?))
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick

Hope you have a good Christmas, JRBC! I'm thinking about you.


102 posted on 12/23/2005 7:20:16 AM PST by peacebaby (Good morning heartache, if you're gonna stay, you gotta get a job, I've got bills to pay.)
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick
Your Christmas Stocking Will Be Filled With Coal
You haven't been *that* naughty this year
Santa is just screwing with you

103 posted on 12/23/2005 7:21:44 AM PST by Lazamataz ("Over it is not, until over it is." -- Yoda Berra)
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To: backinthefold

That was fun -- thanks!


104 posted on 12/23/2005 7:22:11 AM PST by jdm (I'm not blunting.)
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To: peacebaby
No candy canes for you.

You're too violent.

105 posted on 12/23/2005 7:22:13 AM PST by Lazamataz ("Over it is not, until over it is." -- Yoda Berra)
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To: peacebaby

Merry Christmas to you too.


106 posted on 12/23/2005 7:22:49 AM PST by Jersey Republican Biker Chick (Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.)
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick

I'm betting on "pay you off"


107 posted on 12/23/2005 7:23:00 AM PST by r-q-tek86 (Malipayon nga Paskwa ag Mahigugmaon nga Bag-ong Dag-on)
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To: Lazamataz

Laz, my dear! There you are!

I hung your candy cane up on my tree - only the sturdiest, strongest limb would hold it because it's a very big candy cane.

Thank you.


108 posted on 12/23/2005 7:24:51 AM PST by peacebaby (Good morning heartache, if you're gonna stay, you gotta get a job, I've got bills to pay.)
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To: Lazamataz
Laz, you are always naughty!! But that is why we like you!
109 posted on 12/23/2005 7:25:01 AM PST by Jersey Republican Biker Chick (Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.)
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To: peacebaby
I want my candy cane back.

I'm tired of having to squat when I pee.

110 posted on 12/23/2005 7:25:31 AM PST by Lazamataz ("Over it is not, until over it is." -- Yoda Berra)
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To: r-q-tek86

You are probably right!!!


111 posted on 12/23/2005 7:25:32 AM PST by Jersey Republican Biker Chick (Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.)
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick
Laz, you are always naughty!! But that is why we like you!

It's a little disturbing that, in every online quiz I take, I'm always 'naughty'.


112 posted on 12/23/2005 7:27:03 AM PST by Lazamataz ("Over it is not, until over it is." -- Yoda Berra)
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To: fredhead

I bet she gots big boobs though ;-)


113 posted on 12/23/2005 7:27:53 AM PST by sure_fine (*not one to over kill the thought process*)
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To: najida
Darlin', we're looking for grievances, not complaints.
114 posted on 12/23/2005 7:28:10 AM PST by BJClinton (Mommas don't let your babies grow up to be sheepherders...)
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To: Lazamataz
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

You are our favorite little devil, Laz.

115 posted on 12/23/2005 7:28:16 AM PST by Jersey Republican Biker Chick (Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.)
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick
Or Santa is trying to pay you off!

What goods do you have on Santa and how did you come by them?

116 posted on 12/23/2005 7:28:24 AM PST by The_Victor (If all I want is a warm feeling, I should just wet my pants.)
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To: sure_fine

No. I like small women.


117 posted on 12/23/2005 7:28:46 AM PST by fredhead (The NAVY - Full Speed Ahead (or is it Astern?))
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick
That devil's got a cute butt.

I'd hit it.

118 posted on 12/23/2005 7:29:14 AM PST by Lazamataz ("Over it is not, until over it is." -- Yoda Berra)
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To: BenLurkin
You've got to put on that party dress

You have clearly never seen me in a dress.
119 posted on 12/23/2005 7:29:15 AM PST by BJClinton (Mommas don't let your babies grow up to be sheepherders...)
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To: BJClinton

A beautiful young blonde boards a plane to New York with a ticket for the economy section. She looks at the seat in economy and then looks into the forward cabin at the first class seats. Seeing that the first class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty one.

The flight attendant checks her ticket and tells the woman that her seat is in economy. The blonde replies "I'm young, blonde and beautiful and I'm going to sit here all the way to New York."

Flustered, the flight attendant goes to the cockpit and informs the captain of the blonde problem. The captain goes back and tells the woman that her assigned seat is in economy. Again the blonde replies "I'm young, blonde and beautiful and I'm going to sit here all the way to New York."

The captain doesn't want to cause a commotion, and so returns to the cockpit to discuss the blonde problem with the co-pilot. The co-pilot says that he has a blonde girlfriend and that he can take care of the problem. He then goes back and briefly whispers something in the blonde's ear. She immediately gets up, says "thank you so much," hugs the co-pilot and rushes back to her seat in the economy section.

The pilot and flight attendant, who were watching with rapt attention, together ask the co-pilot what he said to the woman. He replies "I just told her that the first class section isn't going to New York."


120 posted on 12/23/2005 7:29:27 AM PST by NorseWood
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