Posted on 12/23/2005 5:39:40 AM PST by BJClinton
Happy Festivus Everyone! For those that don't know what Festivus is, here's a source:
Wikipedia
While it was actually invented (like Kwanzaa) in 1966 in a Reader's Digest column it was made popular by an episode of Seinfeld.
The Festivus Dinner you'll have to take care of yourself, but I've provided a festivus Pole:
The feats of strength and airing of grievances will be addressed downthread.
I married one (or maybe I am one)
One the first trip down US 17 to visit my floks after our wedding, my wife wanted to drive, but was not sure how to get there. I told her that I wanted to take a nap, and that she should stay on US 17 and wake me up when we got to New Bern. A few minutes later she wakes me up asking "Which way do I go?"
I asked her "What does the sign say?" (This was a big sign OVER the road that directed 17 Business - Vanceboro, 17 By-pass - New Bern)
She replied, "What sign?" as we went under it.
If you think that's dumb, read on.
I made her turn around and go back and read the sign.
That's when the honeymoon offically ended.
Hope you have a good Christmas, JRBC! I'm thinking about you.
Your Christmas Stocking Will Be Filled With Coal |
![]() Santa is just screwing with you |
That was fun -- thanks!
You're too violent.
Merry Christmas to you too.
I'm betting on "pay you off"
Laz, my dear! There you are!
I hung your candy cane up on my tree - only the sturdiest, strongest limb would hold it because it's a very big candy cane.
Thank you.
I'm tired of having to squat when I pee.
You are probably right!!!
It's a little disturbing that, in every online quiz I take, I'm always 'naughty'.
I bet she gots big boobs though ;-)
You are our favorite little devil, Laz.
What goods do you have on Santa and how did you come by them?
No. I like small women.
I'd hit it.
A beautiful young blonde boards a plane to New York with a ticket for the economy section. She looks at the seat in economy and then looks into the forward cabin at the first class seats. Seeing that the first class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty one.
The flight attendant checks her ticket and tells the woman that her seat is in economy. The blonde replies "I'm young, blonde and beautiful and I'm going to sit here all the way to New York."
Flustered, the flight attendant goes to the cockpit and informs the captain of the blonde problem. The captain goes back and tells the woman that her assigned seat is in economy. Again the blonde replies "I'm young, blonde and beautiful and I'm going to sit here all the way to New York."
The captain doesn't want to cause a commotion, and so returns to the cockpit to discuss the blonde problem with the co-pilot. The co-pilot says that he has a blonde girlfriend and that he can take care of the problem. He then goes back and briefly whispers something in the blonde's ear. She immediately gets up, says "thank you so much," hugs the co-pilot and rushes back to her seat in the economy section.
The pilot and flight attendant, who were watching with rapt attention, together ask the co-pilot what he said to the woman. He replies "I just told her that the first class section isn't going to New York."
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