The Advice Goddess

Westword.com ^ | Amy Alkon

[Millee]

I'm 40, the cute girl from upstairs is 23. When she stopped by to commiserate about loud neighbors, we had a beer, went dancing, and then had sex. Afterward, she seemed weird and left abruptly. I wrote her a note, "Sorry if I made you uncomfortable, but I love you and look forward to seeing you again." She hasn't looked at me since. Where did I go wrong? -- Mr. Neighbor

Grateful as you may be to a girl for having sex with you, it's never a good idea to let on. You could've had a future with her -- the kind 40-year-old guys without handfuls of bling typically have with 23-year-old girls: jump-starting their cars, lugging their couches up four flights of stairs, and maybe catching a little action when there are no hot young guys to be found. You blew it, though, with "I'm a lonely sack of emptiness!" -- which is how "I love you" translates after one beer, one dance, and one roll in the sack. (You say "I love you"; she says "It seemed like a good idea at the time.")

[Nowhere Man]

In movies, when a plane is heading down at a high rate of speed, whether it be in a crash, or just a "maneuver", there is that screeching, high-pitched sound, that increases in frequency, as the plane descends. Is that just tv, or does the air slipping over the wings REALLY make that sound, if a plane is diving fast?

I know Dasher already answered but she said the smae thing I did, it is all TV and sound editing. I always get a big kick out of "The Dukes of Hazzard" where you hear the General Lee "screeching" its tires like it was on pavement yet they are on a dirt road or when they play the sound effects of a M1918 BAR auto rifle when someone fires an M-16 or you hear the sound of a .22LR rifle when someone fires an M1 Garand.

[Nowhere Man]

The noises an airplane makes are usually engine and prop related.

Tell me about it, one time a 757/767 was coming in. I live in a flight path, and I remember one gunned its engines so loud, it sent almost all of my 8 cats running with the exception of my calico cat, Pansy, who will be 19 next year, she fears nothing. B-)

I've had a passing interest in aviation, got some good pics of the Thunderbirds this year at the airshow. I didn;t go this time, I spent it with my 90 year old grandmother but living in the flight path and having a police scanner that gets military frequencies, that does have its advantages.

I know a C-17 pilot and he did let me sit in hre pilot's seat of a C-17 once. He let me play with the radio, I tuned in the ball game on KDKA-AM and some amateur radio on 10 meters (28,000 to 29,700 kc, I'm a ham radio operator). I would have loved to fire that puppy up since I have 10 meter privileges as a Technician plus (I have limited HF privs but all VHF/UHF and above and know 5 WPM morse code) but I did not. I did put my hand og the joystick and throttles and said, "I'm flying this 'mofo' to Florida!" and the plane shook. I thought, "uh oh, you did it, Chuck, 200 million down the toilet and you with it." B-) Actually, the plane was locked to where no one can do anything and it was people jumping on and off it, but for a sec, I did have a fear of God in me. From flying Microsoft "Flight Simulator '83" on my Apple quite a bit, maybe taking off wouldn't be too hard but the landing, well. B-D



Here's one I took of the Thunderbirds.

[Rca2000]

It seems that mine and your attitude, as well as that of a couple of younger male posters(you know who I at speaking of), it seems that our attitude is in the sheer minority here. It would seem logical to me, that once a person had made the committment to follow Christ, that they should NOT expect to be able to just continue the same, sin-filled lifestyle of old. But then, posters tell me I am out of touch, holier-than-thou, a goody-goody, and a loser, and a wuss. So, for some unfathomable reason, the attitude that you should try to live as decent and honestly as possible, seems to be out of step with reality, according to some.

I hate this "twilignt Zone" world we live in today.

I was on another thread, talking about missile defense, The Safeguard system, the general ignorance of the threat ICBM'S pose, MARV's and MIRVS, and such. Something I actually know a little bit about. Easier to understand than the modern, backwards-morality society we live in today.

[Nowhere Man]

It seems that mine and your attitude, as well as that of a couple of younger male posters(you know who I at speaking of), it seems that our attitude is in the sheer minority here. It would seem logical to me, that once a person had made the committment to follow Christ, that they should NOT expect to be able to just continue the same, sin-filled lifestyle of old. But then, posters tell me I am out of touch, holier-than-thou, a goody-goody, and a loser, and a wuss. So, for some unfathomable reason, the attitude that you should try to live as decent and honestly as possible, seems to be out of step with reality, according to some.

I know. B-( Just because we are not "hip" we are "squares." Hey, I'd rather live my life as close to God, Christ and the right path as well as I can even if I get a lot of guff for it. Jesus took a lot of crap in His time as well and look what He went through. I figure if He could take such a burden for all of us and more well I figure I could take some guff that comes my way and ask for His help in dealing with it. Its a tough world out there.

Basically, I just want a woman to share my life and the rest of it with, be a good wife and mother, able to work out problems together, and one that, as Bill O'Reilly would say, "looking out for me" and I look out for her. The past, well, as I said earlier, I believe in repentence and redemption so I don't care as long as she is truthful with me so if a skeleton comes walking out of the closet, we can deal with it instead of her (or me) suffering alone. Suffering alone, I think that's one of the worst mental torments out there barring capture by an enemy and gong through torture. I have lots of thoughts on that, I'll have to collect them and wrote more on them.
AS to Audio Karma, was on it one night and it went down for maintenance. Bummer, was on a roll too. B-)

I hate this "twilignt Zone" world we live in today

You and me both. Too many problems, getting signals crossed, don't know what to do, etc. Give me a time travelling DeLorean or Steve Gibb's (he was on Art Bell/George Noory) time machine although in the case of the latter, wrapping an electrical coil around my head, well, I think I'll pass. B-P B-) I've heard a story of where one guy in the late 1970's took two bulk erasers for reel-to-reel tapes and placed one on each side of the head for a buzz but he ended up becoming psychotic. Dunno how true it is but I ain't gonna test it. B-) There is so much about electromagnatism that we don't quite understand.

I was on another thread, talking about missile defense, The Safeguard system, the general ignorance of the threat ICBM'S pose, MARV's and MIRVS, and such. Something I actually know a little bit about. Easier to understand than the modern, backwards-morality society we live in today.

BTW, I do have an article on an early SDI system in a 1968 Popular Science magazine except then it wasn't called "Star Wars" but "McNamara's Shield." It is the Safeguard system you mentione along with the Sprint and Spartan missiles. I got to scan that in sometime. As to the backwards society, I think in many cases we are going backwards. Sure we might have the world at our fingertips with our Pentium II's, III's and IV's but morally and spiritually, we are drifting backwards. Hopefully it will be a cycle and we will see some sort of religious revival but it will take a major cataclysm to do that.

As to women, I'll just let God take control on this one and let Him do the leading. Got to hit the sack, I'm having a busy week at work. B-)

[Goodgirlinred]

I am not hitting you. Notice what I said in my post. His morals are no better than hers. I do not approve of jumping in bed like that either. However, they did it. There was no reason not to act in a civilized manner afterward.

[Goodgirlinred]

Ok. Agreed.

[HitmanLV]

I'm not going to hit you, but I'll be honest with you. Your good boy/holier than thou schtick is one of the major reasons you're lonely and alone. At some point a grown man has to realize that even good people make bad decisions. In your world those who give in to their lusts might be ruined for life, but the real world doesn't work that way.

You're right, Melas. My current galpal had a VERY wild run between age 16-25, though then had a personal odyssey that settled her down a lot. I didn't even know her until well after this process ended. I never ask about pasts, but early in our courtship she sat me down and told me about her back story, mostly because she felt I should at least know a thumbnail sketch of her life as we were getting more serious. Any details she offered were by her initiative. I didn't pry or ask for details. Not my style.

I was very impressed by her sensitivity about the matter. She was impressed that I never asked about it, and when it was time, I didn't pry.

In any case, anyone who suggests that she is somehow ruined for life because of a period where they gave into their lusts is off base. Take the person as you find them - they are the sum total of their life experience, and deal with the person they ARE, not with the person they WERE.

[Rca2000]

DO you have a problem with the English language? Or, do you just decipher what you WANT to, and toss out everything else I said?

I NEVER once have said, that someone is ruined for life, if they mess up. I am all for poeople turning their lives around, and once they do, they are to be honored, not shunned. And if you would READ my posts, that is what I said.

What I did say, was that I do not approve of that behavior from someone who is doing it NOW, And that I have a problem with those who justify such behavior from those who call themselves Christians. If my belief that a CHRISTIAN is not supposed to act that way makes me seem like a wacko, and such, then SO BE IT!!!!(Before you say, "who are you to judge", recall, that when Jesus forgave someone, he said--"go and SIN NO MORE".)

[HitmanLV]

I was quoting Melas in his response to you. That much is clear from the part I quoted.

I have noproblems with the English language. I was just agreeing with Melas's post and offered my own experience, and added you as a courtesy, that's all.

Sorry if it was confusing. No need to take it personally or get hostile, though. Regardless of what you may think, it's not all about you, you know.

[Nowhere Man]

In any case, anyone who suggests that she is somehow ruined for life because of a period where they gave into their lusts is off base. Take the person as you find them - they are the sum total of their life experience, and deal with the person they ARE, not with the person they WERE.

Cool. Yeah, I do agree there although in my case, I'd like to know the past and I would fess up on my side in return so if anything comes up, we can deal with it together. I wouldn't want my spouse to suffer silently if there is a skeleton or a threat of one coming out of the closet, I would want to help her deal with it as I would like her to help me if the same thing would occur to me. I think that is one of the true marks of love and commitment, if something from the past comes up, yuns deal with it together and stay together.

BTW, hear anything from the Savage people? Michael Savage is "da man!" Glenn Beck is my second favorite.

[Rca2000]

All about "me"?,

I am not the one who ran a bunch of posts claiming that I charged 5k an hour, for my "superior intellect". You were. And if that was true(which I gather it is NOT,) I feel sorry for the suckers that would toss away money like that.

[Nowhere Man]

Sorry if it was confusing. No need to take it personally or get hostile, though. Regardless of what you may think, it's not all about you, you know.

If I may step in, sometimes I'm a little hesistant on these threads because of the potential rancor where someone might take what someone else said personally and we end up in fights. It's bad enough over the politcal part of it but when we do it over social issues like this, it just makes what Hannity said a while ago about Freepers eating their own, then again, eating one's own is everywhere no matter if it is here, at DU or where ever you go.

Everyone here is an individual with their own wants and desires and what they are looking for in a spouse and so on. Some of us like to fly planes while others like to stick their hands in the back of TV's and radios to fix them, orher like to game on the Playstation, take care of cats, listen to disco music and so on. I admit I resemble some of that myself and more.

[Nowhere Man]

Sorry to break in, but is Audio Karma down? Can't get to it. B-(

[HitmanLV]

For me, I was much more impressed by the fact that she took it upon herself to open up. That took a lot of trust and risked scaring me away. I don't scare easily, though.

I can not describe to you how much she was elevated in my eyes by her realizing it would be better to tackle a serious issue by her own initiative. It wasn't a psychological bloodletting: she was sincerely sensitive to my feelings about it and decided to broach the subject.

I don't pry about the past. I am open to hearing about it. It's the lady's call in my book.

Thanks for asking about Savage Nation! He has been in great form all week but I gotta tell you, its been a month since he announced the contest and its barely come up again! I don't know if it is abandoned or what, but I haven't heard from them, and I haven't heard them play any demos on the air, except one which was so bad (and introduced as being horribly bad). While the link is still on his website, he hasn't mentioned it on the air. who knows? Thanks for asking and send me continued good vibes!

[HitmanLV]

Yes - somehow you thought that my response agreeing with another poster was about you.

I think I mentioned that once, and only when the topic was broached. And yes, it is true that my 1-day consulting fee is 5k a day and expenses, though I never claimed it was for my superior intellect. It's for my training. I don't know why you would doubt that it is true. Many folks charge much more, and get it.

My clients go great, by the way! Thanks for asking!

[HitmanLV]

Yep. I don't know why some folks get so upset though.

[Rca2000]

It has been down all week. I don't know what is going on.

[Rca2000]

I am happy that you have someone who confided to you about her past. It most likely means that she trusts you and cares about you, and feels that you will do the same. While it is good, that she may had told you this, she was not obligated to do so. What matters is how she acts NOW, not 10 or 20 years ago.

I think that you upset a lot of women on this site with all of that "alpha princesses", stuff. They get the idea you only want a woman to be at your "beck and call". While this is most likely not true, to some of them it appears to come across this way.

[Nowhere Man]

It has been down all week. I don't know what is going on.

Me neither. I was on there about 2 or 3 days ago, was posting about Zenith TV's and I kept getting "server busy" messages, then I got a message that is was down for maintenance and then nothing. Looks like AK is having trouble

[Nowhere Man]

I think that you upset a lot of women on this site with all of that "alpha princesses", stuff. They get the idea you only want a woman to be at your "beck and call". While this is most likely not true, to some of them it appears to come across this way.

I think one problem with these form of media is that you don't see the facial expressions or tone of voice, someone could be just joking a little but unless you include a smiley or "/sarcasm>" tag, you might be taken seriously. It is very easy to "step in it" accidently. I've done it form time to time, even when I was on Fidonet.