Posted on 09/16/2005 5:41:08 AM PDT by BJClinton
Sweet! It's Friday. At least, that's what my desktop calender say. Time to crack open an e-Beer, or a real one if you're at home...or have a lenient boss...or you're just going "Office Space" on us. Anyhow, get yer silly on!
'Avast there, me hearties' ~ was one the lines I had in an eighth grade play, why back when. ;)
...don't get me started.
And I for you.
You know the rules: Pics!
Cheap gas is sexy? Man, with all the free gas I've got, I should have honeys knocking down my door!
He'll have to console you about the Raiders crushing defeat at the hands of the resurgent Cowboys.
AAARRGGGHH, that sucks aaarrr. (JRBC - needing a drink.)
LOL
New maneuver for choking victims...
The "Heinylich Maneuver"
1. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
4. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."
5. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
6. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please, and one for the road."
7. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"
8. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home. '" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?" "It's Not Unusual."
9. Two cows standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.
10. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
11. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
12. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there any thing you can do for him?" "Well", says the vet, "let's have a look at him."
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What, because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy."
13. Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese.
And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mom or my dad or maybe my older brother Calvin or my younger brother Ho-Chin. But I'm pretty sure it's Calvin.
14. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
15. I went to the butcher's the other day to bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf.
He said, "No, the steaks are too high."
16. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.
He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"
17. I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.
18. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
19. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
It isn't political but that pic is in need of some "touch up", no?
You so bad!
It would surprise me too.
First, she'll have to get over getting crushed by the Chiefs Sunday night!!!!
Are the Raiders going to beat anybody? They already lost to my Patriots.
The seven year-old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, "Good morning , Alex." "Good morning , Pastor," he replied, still focused on the plaque. "Pastor , what is this?" The pastor said, "Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service." Somberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque. Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear, asked, "Which service-the 9:45 or the 11:15?"
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