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Durbin is Right (The Full, Awful Truth About Gitmo)[HUMOR]
Anonymous source | June 17, 2005 | wizardoz

Posted on 06/17/2005 5:20:30 PM PDT by wizardoz

The time has come to face the ugly truth: Dick Durban is right; the things our military is doing in Guantanemo Bay to prisoners is tantamount to torture.

Here is the side of Guantanemo you won't hear from the mainstream media. Only those of us who have a friend whose neighbor's son's ex-girlfriend's brother is actually there hear the stomach-churning stories of questioning tactics that are routinely visited on the detainees at Gitmo. Read ahead if you dare, but I warn you, it's not for the weak-hearted.

My contacts inside tell me that the prisoners are forced to sit on hard wooden chairs for hours with no cushions. Think about that. That’s like sitting in a baseball stadium all afternoon… but no game is playing. There's no beer. They don't even get peanuts. Even first year law school students listening to tort lectures aren’t subjected to that more than three days a week. But in Gitmo, it can happen four, even five days a week. Yes, really.

And that’s not all. Prisoners are forced to stand for hours and hours on end in extreme temperatures as if they are waiting outside a box office for U2 tickets. But there’s no U2 ticket at the end of this torture. No. Instead they hear rap music, or worse. Christina Aguilera. Perhaps the average American (who doesn’t have a teenager) doesn’t know this, but Christina Aguilera can cause bleeding from the ears. But this is what is being done in our name every day down in Gitmo.

And the orange-glazed chicken you’ve heard so much about? I’ll let you in on a little secret: it’s dry.

”I could barely wash it down,” complained Ahmar al Killemall. “My twelve-year old bride could make a better orange-glazed chicken than that. And this salad was made with iceberg lettuce,” he adds. “What, the U.S. can’t afford romaine? Come on.”

And then there’s the sleep-deprivation torture. These detainees are kept up for hours at night with blaring noises, until they are as bleary and nauseous as a new parent with a baby in the house. This can go on for weeks. Like a new parent with a baby in the house. They sometimes grow so exhausted that they fall asleep on their feet! Like a new parent, with a baby in the house.

The list of atrocities goes on and on. The detainees’ cells are as small as a college dorm room, and in many of them… I’m sorry to say it… but there isn’t even a view of the water. Not even a view, for God’s sake! It's an island, they can't arrange a room with a view?

They don’t have cable tv, either. Do you know who Donald Trump’s new apprentice is? Well, don’t ask a prisoner at Gitmo, because they don’t know either. They don’t know who won American Idol. They've never seen Six Feet Under. They don’t even know about Tom and Katie! Do you understand the implications of that? By the time they hear about the wedding, the divorce will be final and they won’t even be able to get in on the betting pool.

How can we do this to other human beings?

I also have it on good authority that their religion is routinely, subtly insulted in various ways. The prayer mats they kneel on clash with their uniforms, for example. And the Koran is often given dirty looks by our soldiers. The beards cultivated by the faithful are sometimes mocked. One soldier was heard to refer to three detainees as “ZZ Top,” and another even said to a detainee’s face, “Yo, what up, Gandalf?” Words hurt, people! They hurt!

Is this the sort of face we should show to the world? Is this what we want done in our name? Is this what America stands for?


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: amnesty; comedy; detainees; dontzot; funny; gitmo; guantanemobay; hahaha; joke; notazot; orangeglazedchicken; parody; readbeforezot; readingisforwimps; readingisgood; satire; supposedtobeajoke; terrorists; torture; whobotherstoread; zotnot
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To: Dog

ROFLMBO!!!!


SHAME on you, Dog. Did ya LOSE your 'wit-sharpener'???? I have a spare, if you need one.


Good article.
BTW....I was only razzin' ya!


41 posted on 06/17/2005 5:32:44 PM PDT by mommadooo3
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To: diverteach

"It's a joke, son. I say, it's a JOKE!"

42 posted on 06/17/2005 5:33:01 PM PDT by Miss Marple
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To: wizardoz
And the orange-glazed chicken you’ve heard so much about? I’ll let you in on a little secret: it’s dry.

Mommy, the wizard man made me wet myself ;-D

43 posted on 06/17/2005 5:33:22 PM PDT by papertyger
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To: wizardoz
They make the detainees sit in this:

It even massages the back.

44 posted on 06/17/2005 5:33:47 PM PDT by Alouette (The only thing learned from history is that nobody ever learns from history.)
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To: airborne

It was quite clear that this was satire from the first few lines, I don't know that he has to write it in big bold letters.


45 posted on 06/17/2005 5:33:55 PM PDT by AmishDude (Join the AmishDude fan club: "Bravo" -- EODTIM69; "Very good!" -- pepperdog)
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To: mommadooo3
:-)

I don't feel so bad.....someone up thread feel for it worse than I did....:-)

46 posted on 06/17/2005 5:34:12 PM PDT by Dog
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To: wizardoz

Todays temperatures -

Bagdad - 110 degrees

Club Gitmo - 86 degrees

And the poor prisoners at Gitmo are eating better than our troops in Iraq.


47 posted on 06/17/2005 5:34:25 PM PDT by airborne (Dear Lord, please be with my family in Iraq. Keep them close to You and safely in Your arms.)
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To: Petronski
They were savagely forced to use the same fork for the salad course AND the entree!

THE HORROR!

48 posted on 06/17/2005 5:34:49 PM PDT by tiredoflaundry (I hate Hurricane Season!)
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To: AmishDude

I need bold letters....:-)


49 posted on 06/17/2005 5:35:13 PM PDT by Dog
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To: PilloryHillary

I was about to do it too! I was gonna post some lightening!


50 posted on 06/17/2005 5:35:22 PM PDT by USAfearsnobody
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To: Keith in Iowa

Ooooo.... the IowaHawk stuff IS funny! Excellent!


51 posted on 06/17/2005 5:35:52 PM PDT by wizardoz
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To: USAfearsnobody

See...


52 posted on 06/17/2005 5:35:56 PM PDT by Dog
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To: AmishDude
I must admit that I have, on occasion, been guilty of jumping the gun.

We're only human.

53 posted on 06/17/2005 5:37:16 PM PDT by airborne (Dear Lord, please be with my family in Iraq. Keep them close to You and safely in Your arms.)
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To: Dog
I need bold letters....:-)

We know, Dog, we know... :D

54 posted on 06/17/2005 5:37:24 PM PDT by AmishDude (Join the AmishDude fan club: "Bravo" -- EODTIM69; "Very good!" -- pepperdog)
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To: airborne
You're going to get a few "shoot first, read later" comments.

I know. It's okay. I've ... uhm... ahem.... "shot first" a couple times myself.

55 posted on 06/17/2005 5:37:46 PM PDT by wizardoz
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To: airborne
We're only human.

Speak for yourself, man.

56 posted on 06/17/2005 5:38:19 PM PDT by AmishDude (Join the AmishDude fan club: "Bravo" -- EODTIM69; "Very good!" -- pepperdog)
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To: WOSG
Here's another atrocity ... Wednesday movie night, guess what movie they subjected the prisoners to?

That's right: GIGLI.

My God! Quick, get a petition in the works before MONSTER IN LAW comes out on DVD.

57 posted on 06/17/2005 5:40:10 PM PDT by wizardoz
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To: wizardoz
Nice post. Too bad some of these dopes didn't read it before they flamed you. Just goes to prove how media bias works. Write a headline that says something inflammatory and have an article stating the direct opposite. A vast majority will only read the headline and react from it.
58 posted on 06/17/2005 5:40:15 PM PDT by satchmodog9 (Murder and weather are our only news)
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To: USAfearsnobody
I was about to do it too! I was gonna post some lightening!

Yeah, I was about to post a pic of a guy setting himself on fire...but something told me to take a deep breath and read further lol.

59 posted on 06/17/2005 5:41:46 PM PDT by PilloryHillary
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To: wizardoz
They don’t even know about Tom and Katie!

I wept when I read this. What in God's name are we doing down there in Gitmo? Do the terrorists know that Brad and Jen broke up? Are they aware that Michael Jackson was acquitted? Keeping this information from them is against every form of decency known to mankind!

60 posted on 06/17/2005 5:41:56 PM PDT by Mr. Mulliner (Quando Omni Flunkus Moritati)
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