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Why English Teachers Die Young(Humor Break)
3/26/05
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Posted on 03/26/2005 6:48:05 AM PST by Vision
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1
posted on
03/26/2005 6:48:05 AM PST
by
Vision
To: Onyxx
Here's something from the great writers of our time...
To: Vision; Howlin
23. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. These are all funny, but this one just about killed me!
To: McGavin999
I kinda like #s 10 and 14.
4
posted on
03/26/2005 6:59:19 AM PST
by
tet68
( " We would not die in that man's company, that fears his fellowship to die with us...." Henry V.)
To: Vision
Excellent!
I haven't had a good laugh in way-too-long.
5
posted on
03/26/2005 7:01:55 AM PST
by
pigsmith
To: Vision
"3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it."
I'm assuming there was a word count requirement on this essay.
6
posted on
03/26/2005 7:03:19 AM PST
by
cripplecreek
(I'm apathetic but really don't care.)
To: Vision
I love this one.
20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
In two short sentences Phil has been introduced and a mental picture has been formed. Brilliant!
7
posted on
03/26/2005 7:03:55 AM PST
by
Harmless Teddy Bear
( We're all doomed! Who's flying this thing!? Oh right, that would be me. Back to work.)
To: Harmless Teddy Bear
8
posted on
03/26/2005 7:04:54 AM PST
by
cripplecreek
(I'm apathetic but really don't care.)
To: Vision
There's some potential Dan Rather's in this bunch.
9
posted on
03/26/2005 7:08:09 AM PST
by
cowboyway
(My heroes have always been cowboys.)
To: tet68
Yeah, number 14 was a stitch, but I think that one is done by an extremely clever student trying to push the teacher over the edge. There are a couple like that.
To: Vision
"24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools."
It appears that the Simpsons is still polpular in the UK.
11
posted on
03/26/2005 7:11:42 AM PST
by
cripplecreek
(I'm apathetic but really don't care.)
To: Vision
Thank you, I needed a chuckle this morning.
12
posted on
03/26/2005 7:15:42 AM PST
by
HuntsvilleTxVeteran
(When you compromise with evil, evil wins. AYN RAND)
To: Vision
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up. Brilliant
13
posted on
03/26/2005 7:17:23 AM PST
by
Oztrich Boy
("Rules are for the guidance of wise men, and the blind obedience of fools")
To: Vision
It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools. Surely a Pulitzer, or at least a NYTimes editorial position, is in this kid's future.
To: Vision
I'd say thanks for the chuckle but I think I may be the "Phil" mentioned in #20
15
posted on
03/26/2005 7:22:45 AM PST
by
sierrahome
(What's the Cuban national anthem? "Row, Row, Row Your Boat")
To: McGavin999
It is original and creative. If this guy keeps writing he has a future in comedy. I also like this one.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
Now compare with McBride fell off the building and landed with a thud One brings a strong visual and audio image the other is bland and flat. Sort of like potato soup with no salt.
16
posted on
03/26/2005 7:23:00 AM PST
by
Harmless Teddy Bear
( We're all doomed! Who's flying this thing!? Oh right, that would be me. Back to work.)
To: Oztrich Boy
This is great…from the mouths of babes.
To: Vision
I saw on a different post, someone has already snatched #20 as their new tagline.
It was pretty funny, I read this and then read the Ebola article and saw his tag line. LOL
To: Harmless Teddy Bear
I know, the future is bright indeed. Whether through simple innocence or through deliberate mischievousness all of these are hysterical.
To: Vision
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