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Why English Teachers Die Young(Humor Break)
3/26/05
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Posted on 03/26/2005 6:48:05 AM PST by Vision
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To: Vision
21
posted on
03/26/2005 7:42:33 AM PST
by
elfman2
(@ copyright 2005)
To: elfman2
So many tag lines, so little bandwidth!
22
posted on
03/26/2005 7:47:33 AM PST
by
MilspecRob
(Most people don't act stupid, they really are.)
To: Vision
It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
No doubt the school called Child Protective Services in on this one.
To: Vision
I'm still laughing. I love the the boat in the pond, ballerina and brother in law. But I think my favorite is the simple:
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
Great! I see mischief and great wit. There is hope for the future after all.
24
posted on
03/26/2005 7:57:03 AM PST
by
didi
(I like guys with good skills, you know, like computer hacking and numchuck skills)
To: Vision
"18. Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut."
I rise in defence of grandfathers everywhere.
25
posted on
03/26/2005 9:24:49 AM PST
by
beaubazzoo
(Birthdays are good. The more you have, the longer you live.)
To: Vision; msdrby; Corin Stormhands
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.Now there's a vivid description!
26
posted on
03/26/2005 9:30:43 AM PST
by
Professional Engineer
(My baby girl has the strongest little finger known to man.)
To: Professional Engineer; msdrby
heh...wife's been doing a unit on Elie Wiesel and Corrie Ten Boom. Passed out study guide which was widely ignored.
On the test, she was told Rosh Hashanah was a rabbi...
27
posted on
03/26/2005 10:37:33 AM PST
by
Corin Stormhands
(Some days my tagline has nothing to say...)
To: Corin Stormhands
28
posted on
03/26/2005 12:25:08 PM PST
by
TrailofTears
("A real father would hold the judge hostage and starve him to death.")
To: Corin Stormhands
29
posted on
03/26/2005 3:34:32 PM PST
by
msdrby
(Freedom, by its nature, must be chosen and defended by its citizens.)
To: Corin Stormhands
On the test, she was told Rosh Hashanah was a rabbi...C'mon, we all know it's the day after G_d created the heavens and the stars.
30
posted on
03/26/2005 4:20:31 PM PST
by
Professional Engineer
(My baby girl has the strongest little finger known to man.)
To: Vision
Hilarious.
but you have to admit, they are creative.
To: Vision
32
posted on
03/26/2005 7:04:02 PM PST
by
Samwise
(Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.)
To: Oztrich Boy
Yeah. That one describes Susan Estrich's voice to a T.
33
posted on
03/26/2005 7:10:30 PM PST
by
KimmyJaye
(Susan Estrich: A face for radio and a voice for pantomime.)
To: Grannyx4
34
posted on
03/26/2005 7:20:02 PM PST
by
LongElegantLegs
(I considered getting highlights; but my smugness is easier to maintain.)
To: LongElegantLegs
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
We are dyin' over here!
35
posted on
03/26/2005 7:32:03 PM PST
by
Vor Lady
To: Corin Stormhands
On the test, she was told Rosh Hashanah was a rabbi...Wasn't he the friend of that other famous rabbi, you know, Hannukah?
36
posted on
03/26/2005 8:01:06 PM PST
by
exDemMom
(Euthanasia, NO WAY. Youth in Asia, OF COURSE.)
To: Vision
I've seen these presented as a list of the worst examples of student writing, and only a minority realized how good they are.
37
posted on
03/26/2005 8:19:04 PM PST
by
A.J.Armitage
(http://calvinist-libertarians.blogspot.com/)
To: Vision
#3 got truncated. It's supposed to read:
He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
To: Vision
Marvelous post. One of my children thought this one up while riding along in the vehicle competing with two siblings for "noise-making space":
"Stop that racket! I can't hear mine!"
39
posted on
03/26/2005 8:44:42 PM PST
by
MeneMeneTekelUpharsin
(Freedom is the freedom to discipline yourself so others don't have to do it for you.)
To: Vision
The English teachers shouldn't die young. Laughing this hard is supposed to be good for the heart.
40
posted on
03/26/2005 10:34:15 PM PST
by
WFTR
(Liberty isn't for cowards)
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