Posted on 12/20/2004 6:41:03 AM PST by kerouacbal
I am 26 years old and have been married for 2 years. I am having trouble growing up and I am driving my wife nuts. It has gotten to the point that my wife talks about divorce almost every day. I want to work this out more then I every wanted anything but I can't seem to do it or do it quick enough. I can't seem to remember consistently to do every day things like take out the garbage make sure all the doors are locked and the heat is off at night (there is a lot more but won't get into it all). I am posting this here to try to get some advise on how to help my self grow up and start to take care of my wife and son better like a husband should. My parents are dead and I don't have a close family member or friend to get advise from. Could someone please help me.
Let her divorce you. You're clearly too good for her anyway.
Sounds like both you and wife needs to grow up. Go to marriage counseling.
Your wife doesn't know how to take out the garbage and lock the doors at night?
She's the one who needs to grow up.
Surf on, my Man.
You'll get many funny quips here but to me it seems you really do want help. I hope you do "grow up" and become the man your wife and son need. You may have taken the first step today.
Best of luck to you.
You are what you were. Are you insisting she make major changes? Do your shortcomings affect your livelihood? Are you abusing substances or raising your hand? Men do not ever completely grow up. If you can't hold a job or keep your hands to yourself, that's one thing. If you leave socks on the floor and fart in bed that's another. What's next, will she tell you to sit to pee?
I've been shot at by professionals, and I've been divorced. Divorce is harder.
I do not wish to critize you wife. But if she mentions divorce every day then she probably needs to grow up as well.
Got news for you, friend...nothing you do will ever be enough.
If your wife is talking divorce every day, then there is more going on than forgetting to take the trash out... call it buyers remorse, call it anything you want...but there's more here than meets the eye.
Get some counselling...or get ready to pack. Women tend to marry a guy not for who he is, but rather for what they think they can change him into. Then the moment they get you to change, they decide that you've changed... and you are the same man they married... and you've grown apart... thenthey start talking divorce.
No, I'm not bitter...just been down this path myself and learned the hard way.... oh, yeah, get a good lawyer. Women tend to see divorce as a war... they don't take prisoners and they want to make sure that every shred of your will to live is destroyed... women can be cruel, vindictive and just plain evil. And while we're on the subject, let's not forget the double standards...
Learn to slap a ho.
The best approach is to write down the things you need to do, on a list. Then, go down the list and cross them off as they are completed.
Second that. (Am I the only one who has difficulty sorting out the serious from the unserious posts sometimes?)
Your cry for help is an urgent symptom. Make an appointment with your doctor and tell your wife that you are doing so. It may not be what you think....
Marriage counselors are strangers at one time so their argument doesn't hold water.
Your wife should give you a 2005 gift certificate to canine obedience class :0)
Joining the United States Military
http://usmilitary.about.com/od/joiningthemilitary/
Yeah, and it will do wonders for your child! What a stupid response. People need to work things out if it's possible. Sometimes it isn't, but if people would stop trying to get their own way most of the time and begin to think of the other person, miracles can happen.
No, no and no. I know this is not the best way of doing this but I don't have anyone to talk to. The people I could talk to I won't out of shame. At least no one here knows who I am.
AMEN! That's exactly how I feel as well. Selfishness reigns in America.
2 words - counseling , communication
Write down a list, i.e.
Take out trash. Pick up dirty clothes. Help with laundry.
Make the bed.
Check the doors at bedtime.
Help with dishes.
Play with child 2 hours/day.
Pay bills.
Whatever--
Just do your chores and mark them off each day when you do.
Put the list up on the frig, in your daybook, wherever you will see it. That's how we trained our kids in their responsibilities.
Good luck.
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