You are what you were. Are you insisting she make major changes? Do your shortcomings affect your livelihood? Are you abusing substances or raising your hand? Men do not ever completely grow up. If you can't hold a job or keep your hands to yourself, that's one thing. If you leave socks on the floor and fart in bed that's another. What's next, will she tell you to sit to pee?
I don't cheat and have a better job and make more money then most people my age. This is about the lack of a partnership in the marriage. She can't depend on me for anything.