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Bush announces capture of Ronstadt
Las Vegas Mercury ^
| 7/29/04
Posted on 08/06/2004 9:33:21 AM PDT by welstead
http://www.lasvegasmercury.com/2004/MERC-Jul-29-Thu- 2004/24375032.html
Thursday, July 29, 2004
Copyright © Las Vegas Mercury
Mercury World Report
Bush announces capture of Ronstadt
WASHINGTON--In a televised address Saturday, a visibly jubilant President Bush announced the capture of Linda Ronstadt, marking an end to an "era of terror that held freedom-loving Americans in its icy grip."
After an intense, four-day search, the entertainer was discovered in a "spider hole" in northern Massachusetts, disoriented, unkempt and armed only with a small radio tuned to NPR.
"The capture of this fugitive from justice is crucial to a free America," Bush said. "And now we need fear no longer the rule of this heartless terrorist whose every word is a tiny dirty bomb blowing up a little part of our nation's hard-won liberties.
"Already there is rejoicing. Look around and see freedom blossoming around you. Women can now vote. Children have a future. And statues of Ronstadt--once dominating every public square--topple as quickly as her reign."
He added that filmmaker Michael Moore is still at large, believed to be in the "fast food belt" on the Michigan- Indiana border.
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: ronstadt
1
posted on
08/06/2004 9:33:22 AM PDT
by
welstead
To: welstead; Americanwolf; AQGeiger; Beaker; BenLurkin; baltodog; big'ol_freeper; ChadGore; Chode; ...
PING, but Check Fire: this is actually funny!
Welcome to Free Republic, Welstead!
2
posted on
08/06/2004 9:36:57 AM PDT
by
Old Sarge
(JFKerry: It Takes An Idiot To Raze A Village!)
To: Old Sarge
IIRC, something like this was posted late last week
it is funny, though.
3
posted on
08/06/2004 9:40:58 AM PDT
by
King Prout
("Thou has been found guilty and convicted of malum zambonifactum most foul... REPENT!)
To: Old Sarge
you pinged?
4
posted on
08/06/2004 9:43:04 AM PDT
by
Zavien Doombringer
(I must be the source of Gravity, everything seems to come down on me)
To: welstead
5
posted on
08/06/2004 9:43:14 AM PDT
by
Dog Gone
To: welstead; King Prout

what'd they do... use a bleeding baby calf staked out as bait???
6
posted on
08/06/2004 9:46:30 AM PDT
by
Chode
(American Hedonist ©®)
To: King Prout
Funny but coming from a newbie it could be intended and interpreted as a slam.
7
posted on
08/06/2004 9:46:54 AM PDT
by
OSHA
(Total Waste: Using your God given intelligence to reason Him out of existence.)
To: OSHA
And, to add, he hasn't posted on any forum...
8
posted on
08/06/2004 9:48:22 AM PDT
by
Zavien Doombringer
(I must be the source of Gravity, everything seems to come down on me)
To: welstead
Sorry to be suspicious, but you might want to do some answering here.
9
posted on
08/06/2004 9:51:28 AM PDT
by
OSHA
(Total Waste: Using your God given intelligence to reason Him out of existence.)
To: welstead
Michael Moore is still at large, believed to be in the "fast food belt" on the Michigan- Indiana border.
LOL... fast food belt
10
posted on
08/06/2004 9:52:26 AM PDT
by
kenth
To: welstead
11
posted on
08/06/2004 9:56:56 AM PDT
by
freedomson
(Now with 50 percent less sarcasm!)
To: welstead
Don't just sit there with a dumb look on your face.
12
posted on
08/06/2004 10:01:33 AM PDT
by
OSHA
(Total Waste: Using your God given intelligence to reason Him out of existence.)
To: Old Sarge
John Kerry
Sung to Tom Dooley

Hang down your head John Kerry,
Hang down your head and cry.
Hang down your head John Kerry,
We know youre bound to lie.

Youve lied about your service,
Over in Viet Nam.
You twist your senate record,
We know that youre a scam.

Hang down your head John Kerry,
Hang down your head and cry.
Hang down your head John Kerry,
We know youre bound to lie.

You said that you did war crimes,
Now you say youre the man.
That has the right to lead us,
I do not think you can.

Hang down your head John Kerry,
Hang down your head and cry.
Hang down your head John Kerry,
We know youre bound to lie.

Youve voted yes Iraq War,
Then turned and you voted no.
Just what now do you stand for,
Wed really like to know.

Hang down your head John Kerry,
Hang down your head and cry.
Got no bounce in July,
We know youre bound to lie.
Conspiracy Guy aka DIF 8/6/2004
13
posted on
08/06/2004 10:12:23 AM PDT
by
Conspiracy Guy
(They are where you least expect. Look around and you'll see them too.)
To: welstead
14
posted on
08/06/2004 10:15:49 AM PDT
by
Slings and Arrows
("Nothing goes together like spliffs and uzis." --Physicist)
To: Slings and Arrows
15
posted on
08/06/2004 11:09:50 AM PDT
by
Zavien Doombringer
(I must be the source of Gravity, everything seems to come down on me)
To: Zavien Doombringer
Nice to know my art was successful.
16
posted on
08/06/2004 11:21:49 AM PDT
by
Slings and Arrows
("Nothing goes together like spliffs and uzis." --Physicist)
To: Slings and Arrows
My eyes!!!! My eyes are still burning!!!
17
posted on
08/06/2004 11:25:14 AM PDT
by
Zavien Doombringer
(I must be the source of Gravity, everything seems to come down on me)
To: Old Sarge; welstead; Happy2BMe; potlatch; devolve
hehe! Welcome to FreeRepublic.com, Welstead.
After an intense, four-day search, the entertainer was discovered in a "spider hole" ....
WARNING. Reading the following comment may cause spewing of liquids on to keyboard and monitor. Please swallow before continuing. No animals were injured in the making of this post. Any similarity to reality is purely coincidental. Any factual statement is not the intent of the poster. Views expressed by the poster are not necessarily shared by the poster. Price is for 24 month lease with $2500 down. Your mileage may vary. Objects are closer than they appear. No shirt, no shoes, no service. You must be at least this tall to ride. Do not remove under penalty of law. Remain seated until the ride comes to a full and complete stop. Reading this post may cause low birth weight. Not recommended for viewers with heart conditions, back or neck injuries, breathing difficulties, recent surgery or illness, high blood pressure and carpal tunnel syndrome.
[Disclaimer courtesy of Conspiracy Guy]
18
posted on
08/06/2004 12:07:06 PM PDT
by
MeekOneGOP
(There is only one GOOD 'RAT: one that has been voted OUT of POWER !! Straight ticket GOP!)
To: Zavien Doombringer
19
posted on
08/08/2004 6:08:43 PM PDT
by
flowerjoyfun
(I don't believe in supermarkets, or major events, or talkback radio, or opinion polls, or ...)
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