Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Still No Name!!!
me | 5-28-04 | grellis

Posted on 05/28/2004 7:00:28 AM PDT by grellis

"I'm in the high-fidelity first class travelling sect

And I think I need a Lear jet."

Pink Floyd, Money

Raise your hand if you would settle for a used Suburu van, as long as it comes with built-in car seats!

As I wrote last week, today we will be discussing financial matters and how we mothers cope with them. Who handles the finances in your household? What do you do to make ends meet? Do you have college funds started for your kids? What are some of the things you have given up in order to stay afloat? What are some luxuries you simply cannot give up, regardless of their expense? Please take this opportunity to share anecdotes and, more importantly, advice. Dads, we welcome your input as well!


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: grandma; granny; mom; mommy; mother; nana; stepmom
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-8081-93 next last
To: Gabz
On soccer nights, I treat the kids to fast food.
Wendy's has chicken nugget 5 packs for 99 cents. Same for their medium fries. I bring drinks from home and it costs me 3.15. They love it.

I love going out to eat, but we can't swing it at all. It kills me when my In-laws set up to go to a restaurant for Mother's Day or someone's birthday. Not only do we have to drive 2 hours to get there, but it is not in our budget at all. These people make the big bucks and we eat Mac & Cheese and Hot Dogs for a week.

At one of these occasions, I used my 1 year old as an excuse to step outside while they ordered. My MIL yelled at me that I was not allowed to leave. It was so embarrassing to be the only one at the table without a meal because we were on a two week (no pay) lay off from my hubby's job.
21 posted on 05/28/2004 8:24:57 AM PDT by netmilsmom (The Libs prefer to silence than debate.-Political Junkie Too)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: grellis

I am the same way. I would rather pack a lunch and let the baby run around and play then fight the crowds, and eat at 125 miles an hour because nap time is approaching. LOL. We haven't gone to cedar Point either. just another amusement park I guess. ;)


22 posted on 05/28/2004 8:25:04 AM PDT by LadyShallott ("An armed society is a polite society."~Robert A. Heinlein)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: grellis

>>Charity really does begin at home<<

But also, what goes around comes around. Someday when things are even worse, someone will come through for you.


23 posted on 05/28/2004 8:26:28 AM PDT by netmilsmom (The Libs prefer to silence than debate.-Political Junkie Too)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: netmilsmom; agrarianlady

We have a well for all of our water....and a septic sytem. That has added much to our monthly utility bill savings. No bills from the city or county for water and sewer.


24 posted on 05/28/2004 8:29:31 AM PDT by Gabz (We're Rural, Not Stupid on the Eastern Shore of VA)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]

To: netmilsmom

One of our treats for ourselves is that we spend a couple of hours on Friday afternoon playing trivia and having a couple of beers. It's our "date time" because hubby's work week is Sun-Thurs, so while she is in school we can steal a few hours.

Because hubby is out of town and I won't get that today, I took Jax to that place after school. The burgers they serve are entirely too big for me to finish, but that's what she wante.....so we split it and it was the perfect amount for us both, we even left fries on the plate. So we had dinner, she got to shoot pool , I got to play trivia and have a few beers and I spent all of $14, including tip.


25 posted on 05/28/2004 8:35:19 AM PDT by Gabz (We're Rural, Not Stupid on the Eastern Shore of VA)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: muir_redwoods
Last pointer, both of you should be involved in the finances, you never know who will go first or how early, believe me, first hand experience.

Very, very early on in our marriage we decided that just one of us would be allowed to handle the checkbook and that neither of us would have a debit card. Over the years, to my frustration, that has come to mean that I am in charge of all of our finances. The only time we discuss our finances is if we have to decide on a major expenditure.

We recently looked at some properties out in the country. We have been wanting to relocate for some time but I kept insisting that we just can't afford to move right now. My husband was under the impression that we would be able to put down $15-20 gs on our future home from the sale of our current. I pointed out to him that our home is appraised at $91,000 and that the combined total of our mortgage and home equity loan is $80,000. Once you account for real estate agent's fees, we would walk away with a grand or two, if we were lucky. My husband was shocked--shocked, I tell ya!--when he realized how little equity we have invested in our home. Its not like I've kept it a secret.

Thanks for the financial aid link!

26 posted on 05/28/2004 8:37:28 AM PDT by grellis (Mi sento male. Ho fatto un'indigestione!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 18 | View Replies]

To: netmilsmom
At one of these occasions, I used my 1 year old as an excuse to step outside while they ordered.

I can't even count all the times I have done exactly the same thing!!! What is it about in-laws??!

27 posted on 05/28/2004 8:40:30 AM PDT by grellis (Mi sento male. Ho fatto un'indigestione!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: netmilsmom

I have expensive in-laws, too. Not at all the sympathetic, hands-on type.

I just use our credit cards and figure they'll die sooner than we will and leave us their money.

Terribly cynical, but they sure do make life financially unpleasant for us. On the other hand, they have often given us gifts. We tend to return them (if possible) and if they give us cash we use it to buy them gifts the next time they are required. (Which is often when you throw in Mother's and Father's Day).

I agonized whether or not to marry my particular spouse as we are from slightly different backgrounds when it comes to money. I should have known better when my then-future MIL complained that my older-model brown Ford Tempo was parked in front of her precious house. (I was 22 at the time and had just started a new job).

But I am so sympathetic I couldn't leave my loving fiance over his unpleasant parents.


28 posted on 05/28/2004 8:43:55 AM PDT by agrarianlady
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: grellis; netmilsmom
What is it about in-laws??!

I don't know - I don't have any.

My FIL passed away 5 years before we met, and my MIL less than a month after we married.

29 posted on 05/28/2004 8:46:06 AM PDT by Gabz (We're Rural, Not Stupid on the Eastern Shore of VA)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 27 | View Replies]

To: agrarianlady

>>I just use our credit cards and figure they'll die sooner than we will and leave us their money. <<
We have a copy of their trust in our house. For some reason they gave a copy to all the kids when they had it done. I refuse to read it because I know that my girls are left out. MIL doesn't like girls. I don't want to build up any more resentment than I have now.

>>Terribly cynical, but they sure do make life financially unpleasant for us. On the other hand, they have often given us gifts. We tend to return them (if possible) and if they give us cash we use it to buy them gifts the next time they are required. (Which is often when you throw in Mother's and Father's Day). <<
LOL!
My MIL (and SIL for that matter) are the kind of people who have never had to struggle yet are so tight they squeak. My MIL shops deep discount all year then at Christmas time, throws it all on a bed and "picks" gifts for everyone. One year, my daughters got, a Target t-shirt, a plastic ornament and a Kaboodle with a mirror. Mind you, they were one and three at the time.
My husband said that maybe she did not know what to buy. I said that I would send her a Christmas list the next year.
I sent the list with items costing 1.00 to 20.00. She sent back a very poison note stating that she will buy what she wants to buy, not what I want her to buy.
Trust me, if she were buying what I wanted her to buy, I would have a new van.


30 posted on 05/28/2004 8:59:04 AM PDT by netmilsmom (The Libs prefer to silence than debate.-Political Junkie Too)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 28 | View Replies]

To: Gabz

You're right! It's the sewer rates that will kill you!


31 posted on 05/28/2004 9:00:34 AM PDT by netmilsmom (The Libs prefer to silence than debate.-Political Junkie Too)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 24 | View Replies]

To: grellis

I was thinkin for a title "The Freeper Family Table"? Its where we as a family and as individuals always go to talk and relax. Just a suggestion. ;)


32 posted on 05/28/2004 9:04:05 AM PDT by LadyShallott ("An armed society is a polite society."~Robert A. Heinlein)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: netmilsmom

We used to pay our water/sewer bill quarterly. I remember the highest bill I ever paid was $108 and that was in the summer when we took more showers and I watered the garden. they generally averaged about $50 a quarter.

Then the city decided to combine the water and sewer bill with the monthly electric bill. The city claimed they didn't make any change but I ntoiced that my MONTHLY water/sewer bill was averaging $50.


33 posted on 05/28/2004 9:09:13 AM PDT by Gabz (We're Rural, Not Stupid on the Eastern Shore of VA)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 31 | View Replies]

To: LadyShallott; grellis
The Freeper Family Table

I like that......and you got me thinking (dangerous thing)but I got nowhere looking for alliteration to go with table or gathering....

FReeper Family Foibles????? Fumbles????

maybe I just need more coffee?????

34 posted on 05/28/2004 9:13:41 AM PDT by Gabz (We're Rural, Not Stupid on the Eastern Shore of VA)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 32 | View Replies]

To: LadyShallott

Great name!
All of us have had houses we visited where the kitchen was the social spot.
My best friend in Cleveland had that place. She called it, "The Fleet Avenue Community Center." I really miss it.
Many a Sunday morning I left there and went to church before falling into bed to try to make up the sleep for work on Monday!!!


35 posted on 05/28/2004 9:51:54 AM PDT by netmilsmom (The Libs prefer to silence than debate.-Political Junkie Too)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 32 | View Replies]

To: grellis

We are a one income family - but it is a very good income! That said, we believe that we do not have the right to squander what we are blessed with, so we live in a modest house that is over 100 years old, I drive a 6 y.o. mini-van, my husband drives a 4 y.o. Ford, our kids clothes mostly come from the discount stores, and they have to earn money through chores to buy their toys. There are many other ways we live modestly, but I don't want this post to go on forever!

So what do we do with the money? Besides sinking it into the upkeep of our old house, we have a college account started. At our income, we will have to save because there will be no government assistance for our 3 children. (There shouldn't be either. If we cannot afford to save for their education with the income we have, we are being very selfish.) We have investments set aside for our own retirement. Neither of us believe that Social Security will be around in its current form when we retire, so we are determined to take care of ourselves. We give money to church. They in turn use it for their regular expenses plus they funnel some of it to people who need a hand. And we do have savings to fall back on if we need to.

I have to strongly second the idea that has come up here about both spouses knowing the financial situation in a family. My husband handles the money, but I know where it is going and where it is coming from!


36 posted on 05/28/2004 10:08:27 AM PDT by freemama
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: grellis

My wife and I maintained three checking accounts, mine, hers and ours. Each payday all of my pay and all of hers was deposited in our account and a fixed amount was transfered into my account and the same amount was transferred into hers. Our account paid the bills and the other accounts were ours to play with. At first it wasn't much but we each had independant accounts. As the years passed we increased the amount in our accounts as we could afford more. This left us free to surprise each other with Christmas gifts without having charges show up on credit cards. We were also free to buy whatever we wanted without looking for permission or agreement. I believe in a tolerable level of marital financial independance as I think it is good for a marriage. Worked for us, at least.


37 posted on 05/28/2004 10:10:02 AM PDT by muir_redwoods
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 26 | View Replies]

To: grellis

Just back from taking two kids to the doctor ... James weighs over 17 lbs. at 4 months. Now I just have to get checkups for 5 more in the next 3 months ...

Money: I do all our financial business, dating back to the day, not long after our wedding, when I discovered my husband's pile of past-due bills. For a couple of years, he wasn't on the bank account, and for even longer, he wasn't on the credit card account, because the bank would approve ME, but not US. But that's water under the bridge ... he grew up.

I would like to have him doing the money, frankly, because then he would have to take responsibility for his spending ... so I guess I mean he grew up mostly :-), but it could be a lot worse!

Make ends meet on one income ... the big thing, which also helped us to survive a year of unemployment, is that we save on the BIG things, the house and the car. Our new house cost about half of what the bank would have approved at our income. The little van (Dodge Grand Caravan) is paid for, and Big Van (15-psgr), which cost only $18,000, will be paid off in November.

Because we pay less for the house and cars than most, much smaller, families, we can buy books when we really want them - if the library doesn't have them a year after publication! Or rent videos - but we don't have cable. We can have the DSL, which the Net-knight refused to part with, No Matter What. All the kids can go to camp. We can buy a bottle of wine when we want to.

We don't take expensive vacations ... this summer we'll go to Lake Norman, an hour away, where we've rented a house for a weekend. Total cost, other than food, which we'd buy anyway, $200. The kids will play outside, while I sit in the shade with the baby ... such excitement :-).

In summary, by avoiding many of the big costs of "keeping up" with what advertisers say we need, we're able to feed all this group AND be generous in providing what's important to us.


38 posted on 05/28/2004 10:18:58 AM PDT by Tax-chick (I'm not making this up.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: grellis

What on earth did the raccoon do to your attic that cost $1240?


39 posted on 05/28/2004 10:24:38 AM PDT by GovernmentShrinker
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: agrarianlady; grellis; netmilsmom

Sounds like all of your in-laws need to be sent to "sensitivity training"! I'm not married, but if was, I wouldn't take such cr*p from in-laws. If they invited me/us to a restaurant we couldn't afford, I'd say, "No thanks, we can't afford it." Then they can either pay for everybody themselves, with no expectation that the "favor" will be returned, or learn to cook a nice home-cooked meal for guests (relatives and others) who don't have the financial means to eat out. Sorry, but it sounds to me as if you're all enablers of your in-laws rude behavior.


40 posted on 05/28/2004 10:36:11 AM PDT by GovernmentShrinker
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 28 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-8081-93 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson