Very, very early on in our marriage we decided that just one of us would be allowed to handle the checkbook and that neither of us would have a debit card. Over the years, to my frustration, that has come to mean that I am in charge of all of our finances. The only time we discuss our finances is if we have to decide on a major expenditure.
We recently looked at some properties out in the country. We have been wanting to relocate for some time but I kept insisting that we just can't afford to move right now. My husband was under the impression that we would be able to put down $15-20 gs on our future home from the sale of our current. I pointed out to him that our home is appraised at $91,000 and that the combined total of our mortgage and home equity loan is $80,000. Once you account for real estate agent's fees, we would walk away with a grand or two, if we were lucky. My husband was shocked--shocked, I tell ya!--when he realized how little equity we have invested in our home. Its not like I've kept it a secret.
Thanks for the financial aid link!
My wife and I maintained three checking accounts, mine, hers and ours. Each payday all of my pay and all of hers was deposited in our account and a fixed amount was transfered into my account and the same amount was transferred into hers. Our account paid the bills and the other accounts were ours to play with. At first it wasn't much but we each had independant accounts. As the years passed we increased the amount in our accounts as we could afford more. This left us free to surprise each other with Christmas gifts without having charges show up on credit cards. We were also free to buy whatever we wanted without looking for permission or agreement. I believe in a tolerable level of marital financial independance as I think it is good for a marriage. Worked for us, at least.