Posted on 05/19/2004 8:13:58 PM PDT by Mr. Silverback
Let's start off with a little housekeeping traffic.
You guys are the best fans. You have great stick-to-itiveness. You have always made me proud, being some of the funniest and smartest of the 100,000 smartest and funniest people on Earth, Freepers. And not one of you has ever hassled me about getting the thing in late. Nonetheless, as Bob is my witness...
THIS IS THE LAST BLOODY TIME I'M POSTING THIS THING LATE!
OK, on with the Caption-A-Rama.
ANSWER sez: Democracy is overrated.
Fred Askew documented an "anti-war" demonstration in NYC on 8 May that had nothing to do with any war, but with giving aid and comfort to the dictators of Haiti and Venezuela.
Woman at right: Come on Morty dear, the crapped-my-pants bench is this way, keep it moving.
Woman on left: For Pete's sake Dad, what did you eat? And didn't I tell you to go before we left the nursing home?
Man: Must...shuffle...slowly...DependsTM...reaching...capacity...
That blurring isn't from Askew, it's the tremors from crack withdrawal. Their supplier had a temporary shortage.
"We're going to the crapped my pants bench, so get out da way, pig."
"The United States is the most evilest country that ever was. Wrote a song about it, wannahear it, here it goes..."
Looking for the Mothership.
Oh wow, I didn't know he has multiple personality disorder. Poor guy.
Forgive the slightly recycled caption: Well yes, I remember Haiti was so much better off, with such a high standard of living, before we mucked it up with our corporatism.
Jeez, another recycled caption: "O when the stink, comes rolling in, O when the stink comes rolling in..."
Ah yes, the Commies say "No War For Empire." I'll pass that on to the people of Poland, Finland, Lithuania, Estonia, Hungary, Czechslovakia, Ukraine, South Korea...
Tsk, tsk! Aunt Jemima! How could you?!?
Well, if you feel that strongly, get on a plane to Port-Au-Prince and fight the Marines, and make sure you film it.
Dwarf Prime!
Kerry does his "Ted Kennedy at my bachelor party about 3 o'clock in the morning" impression. Next week I hope to remedy our lack of Kerry pics in a big way.
May Day, Perth Style
As I mentioned last week, the Perth, Australia Indymedia site was not cooperating, but these pics were worth the wait. It appears that all the world's surplus hippies live in Perth. Of course, in my mind they're all surplus and should go get a haircut and a real job.
America, listen to the wisdom.
Oh that little party hat is so charming I just want you to take my car away right now, you little dickens!
Most little girls have given up on Supergirl and Indian Princess as career options in the third grade.
No comment necessary.
Woohoo! It's a hootenanny! Get down and get funky, comrades!
Why do they want to ban cars? They're too stoned to drive.
Man, that's just too much funk to fight. We'd better just give up now.
"Where's my hoes? My hoes had better have all my money, so I can go to the clinic and get this tongue thing fixed!"
"Hey, is that a copy of The Communist Manifesto in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
"Oh, I'm glad to see you. I love clowns."
Indymedia won't even cover an event unless somebody like this guy shows up.
Whose feces in our underwear? Our feces!
Why, that's practically a manifesto!
She's been going around all week painting her number out of "For a good time call" grafitti.
Man, you sold me right there, let's ban cars immediately!
Two for one caption special for this photo of a truly dizzying intellect at work:
Well of course! I mean, who'd want to eat a truck?
I can't wait to see their plan for moving food around on duckback.
"So then, I told Aphrodite--She's such a slut, y'know?--'Dite, if you think I'm going to sit and listen to Hera natter on about her hot flashes for hours at a time, you have got the wrong moon goddess. And then Athena starts right in on me..."
Oh man, he's a stone cold criminal. "Ooh-Ooh! I wag my butt at yoo-oo!"
Now that's a pothead if I ever saw one.
All the drivers in Perth stopped at the little cones and read the carefully lettered manifestos attached to them.
Yeah, alright, I'm not fooling anybody: They all ran them down, and then chased the hippies with their cars.
The way, way, way less than a Million Mom March
The Million Mom March was such a bust (only 3,000 attendees, or .3% of billing) that the AP didn't have any good photos. Oh, well there are the ones of Jesse Jackson...
"Where are they? Where, I ask you, are the million potential partakers of my jigginess who were supposed to be here today?"
This is a group photo of Jesse's gun collection. Now you know why Mrs. Jackson didn't leave him during that adultery thing.
The rest of the photos were taken by Freeper bc2, who first infiltrated the Miniscule Mom March and then came back from the Dark Side to take a few Freep photos.
What me being able to own a .45 if I want to has to do with revenge, I'll never know.
Definitely no comment necessary.
Woman: "Guns don't kill people, people kill people?" Oh, that is so funny! Next thing you know you'll be telling me prolonged exposure to the sun could burn my skin. Gawd I married a wacko!
Visualize potential rapists being afraid to try it.
Bush is giving out guns? Man, it isn't just morning in America, it's Christmas Morning in America! I was good this year, can I have two?
Nothing halts an assault like a big handgun. If you doubt me...
...just ask this guy.
While most of the marchers operated under the delusion that the Second Amendment doesn't actually mean what it says, or what the Founders said it means, this woman chose to operate under the delusion that tavern owners everywhere let their patrons belly up to the bar armed with submachine guns. Either that, or she's against "oozies," and I really don't want to think too much about what they are.
Look! There on the Mall! Participating in the dumbest protest in DC history! It's a clay pigeon! It's so lame! It's...Super-unarmed victim!
Is this yet another gun-grabbing useful idiot? No! It's bc2, and here's how he blended in:
"I'd better turn my 'Heckler & Koch' shirt inside-out, put a MMM button on, and defuse my pro-2nd Amendment hat with a 'stop the nra.com' sticker.
Here he is after he broke cover, standing with Kristinn. Nice shirts guys, but bc2, you better stay out da bars, or that "oozies" lady will be beating you with her sign!
Well, if you're going to say that, you have to give Bush some props, because Saddam had huge stockpiles and we're finding the dang things all over Iraq.
No comment necessary.
Here are some good pics of the 2nd Amendment side of the event. On most, no comment is necessary, their brilliance speaks for itself.
Strangely, you can't buy these shirts anywhere on the Handgun Control website.
Greenpeace
Let's take a look at the tree-hugger's latest activities.
These well-fed white Europeans want quality farming, not quantity or insect resistance that might lead to some brown people getting to eat.
Ronald McDonald is arrested by New Zealand cops. "All I have to say officer, is that the next time the Hamburgler asks for a DNA sample, I'm going to be a little more suspicious."
Actually, they arrested Ronald because he threatened to reveal the percentage of kangaroo meat in the average Big Mac.
"Choose Positive Energy: Smoke Quality Doobage" wouldn't fit on the banner.
It's every bit as bad! In fact, it's much worse!!
It's every bit as bad as raping women for fun and interrogation leverage for thirty years! In fact, it's much worse!!
It's every bit as bad as killing a million Muslims in wars started for oil! In fact, it's much worse!! You shouldn't need someone as dead sexy as me to tell you this!
It's every bit as bad as gassing 5,000 Kurdish civilians! In fact, it's much worse!!
It's every bit as bad as dipping people in nitric acid baths! In fact, it's much worse!! It's so bad that we forgot who did it and ended up burning this fake British flag!
It's every bit as bad as burying little Kurdish kids alive in mass graves! In fact, it's much worse!! And we know Israel was in on it, and that the Israeli Army snuck into Iraq to plant those mass graves! We are insane with anger! It's time for an ass-whupping!
It's every bit as bad as torturing athletes half to death for losing a soccer game!! In fact, it's much worse!!
"Now you listen to me! It's every bit as bad..."
"...as this!..."
"In fact, it's much worse!!"
Knock-knock-knockin’ on Lot’s door
Sorry, no "Knockin'" pics this week, but just wait until next week! Also, next week we'll feature great pics of the DC Chapter's rout of LeftScum at SecDef Rumsfeld's house.
Miscellaneous idiocy
Memories...light the corners of my mind...misty watercolored memories...of the way we were...
No, it's not photoshopped. And if you think you're having a tough row to hoe because of gas prices...
...check this guy out! Now that's a bad day! Here's the original caption:
Six nails embedded in the skull of construction worker Isidro Mejia, 39, after an industrial incident caused a nail gun to shoot nails into his head and brain on April 19, 2004, are seen in this X-ray image from Providence Holy Cross Hospital in Los Angeles. Five of the six nails were removed in surgery that day and the sixth was removed from his face on April 23, after the swelling went down. (AP Photo/photo released by Providence Holy Cross Medical Center)
This guy was arrested recently by British police. He had been camped out in front of Parliament with all this crap for three years. Wow, three years, I wonder where his food money came from...could he have been a professional protestor? Nahhhh!
You know what really gets to me? what really keeps me awake staring at the ceiling until the wee hours of the morning? I'm worried that our soldiers might capture the guys in this photo, and then subject them to sleep deprivation before questioning them. Man, are you going to be able to sleep tonight thinking about Zarqawi losing sleep, or getting stripped naked? I sure won't. (Thanks to Kristinn for that great bit)
Fidel Castro and 100,000 Cubans held an anti-American protest in Havana this week.
"Follow me, comrades! I know you don't have any choice, but try to look enthusiastic anyway."
"President Bush you must pull my finger! I do not need to explain what you did or why you're so bad, because I'm in Havana and nobody cares, and it's almost lunchtime. Pull hard, Mr. Bush!"
Thinking: "Is that Kerry? No, wait...that's one of my horses. That one's looking pretty used up, I'd better have him put down."
Yeah, Bush is just like Hitler, I mean the alliance with the Soviets at the expense of relatively defenseless coutries, the persecution of Christians and Jews, the mass murders and labor camps...Hey, wait a minute! That was you guys! Aw, now I feel all discombobulated! Stupid Cubans!
My Spanish is rusty, but I believe that sign says, "In Cuba, they get to do this to us anytime they want." Actually, my Spanish is non-existent and Altavista spit this back out at me. Anybody know what it says?
What a bunch of freaks!
BTTT
LOL, I especially loved the series of pics with Kennedy! PERFECT job!
Dang, another stereotype bites the dust.
I always thought that Australian chicks were HOT!
OK, you're going to have to retranslate that for me. I got the "Pull my finger" part, but I'm clueless on the rest.
Roughly, it means: "Pull my finger! Smell my fart!"
pedo = fart
oler = to smell; huele is the imperative command conjugation.
I just liked it because it rhymed.
Excellent as usual!
My God! They dismembered GENE RAYBURN!
Celine Dion unveils the costume for her new show: "A Salute To The Village People". Dion is dressed as all five members of the 1970's supergroup: The Indian Chief, The Traffic Cop, The Belly Dancer, Superman, and The Creepy Guy In Red Sneakers.
Very funny :>)
...for later perusing
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