Free Republic Smokers' Lounge

Puff List ^ | 1/23/04 | francisandbeans

[Just another Joe]

Join the FR smokers lounge bump list...click on the logo

Welcome Friends, foes and associates to the completely remodeled Free Republic...

Smoker's Lounge

Here you will find a comfy place to smoke, drink, joke or whatever. We always have a great time, so sit back, relax and...

Smoke 'em if you got 'em shssh
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aaaaa,:`___________________________||`,:'.",`.;'`,:'.',`: <--------Life is good!
A very special thank you to Registered for providing us with this fine logo....we will bear it with pride.

[MeekOneGOP]

haha ! That is funny !

[MeekOneGOP]

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1063803/posts?page=173#173

Actor who played Captain Kangaroo dies

Posted by: Paola Farer, Web Producer 

Several news organizations are reporting that Bob Keeshan has died. Keeshan delighted millions of TV viewers for 30 years as Captain Kangaroo.

Keeshan died in Vermont where he lived, according to Broadcast News Ltd. He was 76.

Keeshan was a television pioneer, who became the host of the longest-running TV children's show of all time.

He got into show business as an intern, getting tipped $5 a show to dress like a clown. He never spoke on the program, but Keeshan still captivated kids as the first Clarabell on The Howdy Doody Show.

In 1955, CBS hired Keeshan to star in a new children's show. Captain Kangaroo was a grandfatherly-type, who carried all kinds of interesting things in his pouch-like pockets.

The captain stayed on the air from 1955 to 1985, teaching and entertaining kids.

Once the captain ended his TV run he continued to speak out for children's programming.

"Television is a wonderful tool,” he said on at least one occasion. “It can teach, it can educate, it can be a great cultural influence on our young people."

Keeshan suffered from heart trouble later in life and spent his last years away from the TV camera with his own children and grandchildren. He was also the author of several children's books.

(Copyright 2004 by 9NEWS KUSA-TV. All Rights Reserved)

_______________________________________________________

Rest in peace, Captain Kangaroo (Bob Keeshan) ...

[Argh]

BWAAAAahahahahahaha!!!! Good one!

[CTOCS]

Nice parable.

I like your ending better than the original.

BTW, hope that wasn't personal!!....

[CTOCS]

Since it's joke time, this is one of my favorites. However, it is PG-13/R borderline.

A penguin is driving around LA and pulls in to a gas station to refuel. The attendant tells him he is leaking oil all over the tarmac.

Penguin says, "good thing I'm already here, can you fix it?"

Attendant says "Sure, come back in about two hours."

Penguin takes off for a walk in the neighborhood. As it's summertime, it's hot as blazes out. Penguin goes in search of cold refreshment.

Spots an ice cream shop and purchases an entire half gallon of vanilla and a spoon.

Starts making his way back to the garage, all the while snarfing down his ice cream.

Arrives at the garage and asks the attendant what was wrong.

Attendant says, "Looks like you blew a seal".

The penguin (furiously wiping mouth) says, "No, no, it's just ice cream.!!!"

[Don W]

Nope, just one of the dozens of jokes my buddy sends me.

[Don W]

Please delete the previous post by me. I forgot to remove something from it!

[Grit]

Hey, Joe. I think that this should be standard issue for all Lounge Freepers:

A 12v cigarette lighter for your 5-1/4 inch computer bay.

[SandyEgo]

Here's one I just rec'd that I hadn't heard before (hope you like it)...

An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese fellow are hired at
a construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile
of sand and says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of
sweeping." To the Scotsman he says, "You're in charge of
shoveling." And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of
supplies."

He then says, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I
expect you guys to make a big dent in that there pile."

So the foreman went away for a couple hours and when he
returns, the pile of sand is untouched. He asks the
Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?"

The Italian replies, "I no hava no broom. You saida to the
Chinese a fella that he awasa in a charge of supplies, but
he hasa disappeared and I nocouldafinda him nowhere."

Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and says, And you,
I thought I told you to shovel this pile."

The Scotsman replies, "Aye, ye did lad, boot ah couldnay
get meself a shoovel! Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge
of supplies, boot ahcouldnay fin' him either."

The foreman is really angry now and storms off toward the
pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy. Just then, the
Chinese guy leaps out from behind the pile of sand and yells "SUPPLIES"!!

[Don W]

That's a GREAT idea, but my 5 1/4 bay is behind a door, and I'd never be able to close that door unless I left the lighter on the desk. That means that sure as shooting, I'd lose the sucker.

[Don W]

< giggle mode > That was cute!

Here's one right back atcha.

An English 101 class at Harvard was asked to write a CONCISE essay containing four elements -- religion, royalty, sex and mystery.


The only A+ in the class read:

"My God," said the Queen, "I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?"

[Don W]

Some PG-13 nursery rhymes:





Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and every time that Mary walked
the boys could see her thighs

Mary had another skirt
twas split right up the front ...
but she didn't wear that one very often

Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
between two chunks of bread.

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
her clothes all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider that crept beside her,
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.

Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman, What have you got there?
Said the Pieman unto Simon, Pies, you idiot.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men,
said "forget him, He's only an egg."

Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its ass
and turned its wool to nylon

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, cause he was bi.

Jack and Jill Went up the hill
to have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill
And now there's little Franky.

[Don W]

Thank you. I've even got a joke for you!


How to get to Heaven


The teacher was testing the children in her Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven. She asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?"

"NO!" the children answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?"

Again, the answer was, "NO!"

By now she was starting to smile. Hey, this was fun! "Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?"

Again, they all answered, "NO!"

She was just bursting with pride for them. "Well," she continued, "then how can I get into Heaven?"

A five-year-old boy shouted out, "YOU GOTTA BE DEAD."

[Sunshine Sister]

I'm back! I'll take that big beer now Joe!

[CSM]

I am rolling all over my cubicle now. You are putting me in the proper friday mood!

[Sunshine Sister]

Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Thanks!

[Admin Moderator]

ROTFLOL!!!!!!!

[Sunshine Sister]

I'm so sorry to hear this. We watched him every day.