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In Blow To Democrats, SCOTUS Rules They Have To Stop Being Racist
Babylon Bee ^ | 04/29/2026 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 04/29/2026 9:16:42 AM PDT by DFG

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a devastating setback to the Democratic Party, the United States Supreme Court ruled today that they have to stop being racist.

In a 6-3 decision, the Supreme Court ruled today that discriminating based on a person's skin color is, in fact, illegal. The verdict comes as a heavy blow to the Democratic Party, which has vowed to keep fighting for the right to be openly racist.

The majority opinion, authored in unusually plain English, opens with the line, "Seriously, you guys can't keep doing that," before citing centuries of legal precedent and basic moral reasoning.

"This is a dark day for our democracy," said Democratic Representative Pete Aguilar. "We've been racist for a long, long time. Frankly, we believe that all voting district maps should be drawn based on the locations of fried chicken eateries. What's the problem with that? Not being racist would be really hard, and we don't want to. This is a disgusting overreach of an unhinged Supreme Court."

At publishing time, Democratic leaders had asked for clarification as to whether they could still be racist against "breakfast tacos."


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; louisiana; ourdemocracy; racism; satire; scotus; votingrights

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1 posted on 04/29/2026 9:16:42 AM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

Parody today, news tomorrow.


2 posted on 04/29/2026 9:18:27 AM PDT by fwdude (Why is there a "far/radical right," but damned if they'll admit that there is a far/radical left)
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To: DFG

Very pleased. It’s the right call.


3 posted on 04/29/2026 9:19:36 AM PDT by Sacajaweau
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To: DFG

Title cracked me up! Its so true.


4 posted on 04/29/2026 9:28:56 AM PDT by Magnum44 (...against all enemies, foreign and domestic... )
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To: Magnum44

Division of people by race has really been their core guiding principle since its creation

Founded by Andrew Jackson, man of the people, and truly a foul racist who started off by rounding up largely peaceful, settled, productive, and English-speaking, Christian, Indians and marching them West.

Party of Slavery & the Civil War

Party of the KKK

Party of Jim Crow

Party that rounded up Japanese in WWII

Party that created the welfare state to destroy the black family

Party of Margaret Sanger to abort black babies

Et al.


5 posted on 04/29/2026 9:36:42 AM PDT by MeanWestTexan (Sometimes There Is No Lesser Of Two Evils)
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To: DFG

Oh derb


6 posted on 04/29/2026 10:25:19 AM PDT by Tennessee Nana
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To: Tennessee Nana

Fat fingers small phone

That should be

Oh dern


7 posted on 04/29/2026 10:27:28 AM PDT by Tennessee Nana
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To: DFG

They can’t stop; it’s who they are.


8 posted on 04/29/2026 10:30:05 AM PDT by Renkluaf
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To: DFG

Of course, the Democrats will assert they have “never” been racist. All that was somehow a twisting of their words, they did not mean it, it was a joke, they were just using a little hyperbolic language.

Sorry, folks, there are just a few too many examples of the words that imply a racist attitude clearly recorded on video and audio showing up, most of them in anger and the heat of the moment.

Lying sacks of horse biscuits.


9 posted on 04/29/2026 11:07:31 AM PDT by alloysteel (The body may betray or fail. The spirit shall endure and prevail. Courage, courage.)
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To: DFG

The Babylon Bee: Satire today, news tomorrow...


10 posted on 04/29/2026 11:25:26 AM PDT by DeplorableTrumpSupporter (FKA ConservaTeen)
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To: DFG

Where’s the satire?


11 posted on 04/29/2026 11:56:58 AM PDT by Ken Regis (I concur )
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To: AdmSmith; AnonymousConservative; Arthur Wildfire! March; Berosus; Bockscar; BraveMan; cardinal4; ...

12 posted on 04/29/2026 12:32:51 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (TDS -- it's not just for DNC shills anymore -- oh, wait, yeah it is.)
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