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Cuomo Inadvertently Tips Scale Against Himself [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 2 November 2025 | John Semmens

Posted on 11/03/2025 9:41:38 AM PST by John Semmens

Former New York Governor Andrew Cuomo overestimated his value to NYC when during a speech to elderly voters he threatened to move to Florida if he loses the mayoral election. "I have spent my adult life in public service to New York," he said. "I feel you owe me your vote. I'm the only one who can defeat the corrupt socialist who polls show will win if I don't. If you screw me over by voting for someone else, I'll return the favor by permanently relocating to Miami."

After hearing Cuomo's speech, a Jewish voter from Brooklyn turned to his wife and asked "why is he talking like a gangster? Is he a gangster?" His wife replied "I don't know. Although I did hear that he was responsible for sending thousands of oldsters like ourselves to their death in nursing homes during the pandemic." "Now I wish I hadn't voted for him," her husband lamented.

Republican candidate for mayor Curtis Sliwa said "Cuomo's blunder could be the break I've been waiting for. I knew that his over sized ego would comeback to bite him. I just wish he would've made this mistake a few weeks ago before so many ballots had already been cast. Anyway, win or lose, I'll always be a New Yorker. I love the City and will fight for it until the day I die."

A confident Zohran Mamdani has proposed "converting the title of mayor to emir. It sounds similar and is more suitable for what the future holds for the city under my rule. All women, including trans women, will be required to wear concealing clothing while out in public so as not to tempt men to rape them. All food will be halal so everyone can eat in confidence that it is pure. Martyr supply vending machines will be installed in all subway stations so faithful Muslims can easily acquire the explosives, firearms, and knives so they can more spontaneously engage in jihad. These are just a few of my first thoughts. Allah willing, I hope to have many more on our collective journey to paradise."


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics; Religion; Travel
KEYWORDS: jews; mamdani; postandrun; satire; selfpromotion; sliwa

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1 posted on 11/03/2025 9:41:38 AM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Even Cuomo wants to avoid the New York income tax it seems.

Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity figured it out a long time ago.


2 posted on 11/03/2025 9:43:53 AM PST by Nextrush (FREEDOM IS EVERYBODY'S BUSINESS, REMEMBER REV; NIEMOLLER)
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To: John Semmens

He wouldn’t have to worry if his ego wasn’t out of control.

He has no business being in the race.


3 posted on 11/03/2025 9:46:23 AM PST by Fledermaus ("It turns out all we really needed was a new President!")
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To: Nextrush

Tone Deaf himself and talking to the people he put in nursing homes to die in 2020!


4 posted on 11/03/2025 9:46:37 AM PST by princess leah ( )
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To: John Semmens

Can this guy be a bigger asshole?


5 posted on 11/03/2025 10:00:27 AM PST by HIDEK6 (God bless Donald Trump )
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