Posted on 11/21/2024 5:20:58 AM PST by Enterprise
DEAR ABBY: I’m a 64-year-old guy. I am single and have two daughters and four grandkids. A young woman (“Sarah”), who is my daughter’s age, and I have been hiking buddies for the past five years. I treat her like my third daughter and a family member. Sarah is married, and her husband does not enjoy hiking. Her husband and my daughters accept our friendship and are happy that I found a person I can hike with.
I have been dating a lady (“Toni”) who is close to my age. Six months ago, I suggested we should spend our lives together. My daughters and Sarah were happy for me. Toni rejected my proposal, citing that I must have some kind of romantic relationship with Sarah.
When I mentioned it to Sarah, she distanced from me. I think she thinks she may have interfered with my relationship with Toni. We’re still friends but not like before. Should I talk to Sarah and ask why she distanced from me? I feel depressed about this and have some remorse. I should not have told her what Toni said.
(Excerpt) Read more at washingtontimes-dc.newsmemory.com ...
Talk to Sarah and tell her that you would still like to go hiking with her, and she in no way interfered with the relationship with Toni. Toni got pissy and rejected your proposal. If Sarah doesn't want to continue hiking with you, then find someone else you can trust. Don't be depressed and remorseful. Shrug it off. Keep enjoying the healthful benefits of hiking.
Yep. Toni sounds like a stretch of bad road ahead.
RUN!....................
Run so fast that the hounds can't catch you, on down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.
Can you spell controlling? Run, then continue walking.
I agree. Jealousy is a normal human emotion, but like other momentary passions that can crop up in our lives, we govern them. Not vice versa. They don’t necessarily have to be suppressed, but they should never dictate our decisions.
Women who let their jealousy get the better of them are often very bitter and controlling partners.
Toni probably did him a favor by tipping her hand.
Dear Abby, Dear Abby,
I spent lots to win.
Over budget in spite of
All the money I raked in.
If the donors forgive me,
I can cackle like sin.
And raise 2 billion more,
So I can run again.
Signed, Kamala
Can you even imagine what was behind Toni’s eyes as she SEETHED about him hiking with his DAUGHTER’S friend?????? The lingering anger, the hatred beforehand as she raged at the thought of this young woman????
And, oh, yes, it would be unleashed at some point - most likely when he had put a ring on it and was committed.
“Sound Off!”
Might not have been room for three in the tent.
I’m a single 65 year old male. It will be a cold day in hell before I get into any Peyton Place crap like this. I left that behind some time ago.
Yes, actually, I can.
Three words:
Ditch the Bitch.
Why wasn’t Toni hiking with you (and Sarah) in the first place.
~~~
Since nobody brought it up yet, I’ll play the devil’s advocate, because this thought did occur to me.
What if there is a little more between he and Sarah, even if it’s not physical and emotional, than just a hiking friendship?
Maybe Toni doesn’t like how broken up he is about Sarah’s distancing.
Nobody likes to lose a friend, but the same could be said about Sarah as we suggested about Toni. If the friendship was pure and the bond was strong, why did she back off, and why is he crying in his pillow about it. heh
/potstir
Yes. You should not have.
Perhaps he should have tried harder to convince her that her fears were unfounded.
The writer has daughters he regularly communicates with. Hiking with someone else’s beard. (Otherwise, why is her husband okay with it?) Able to find women his own age to date. And the writer is hung up over a marriage proposal rejection? At his age and with a great social network, he should be able to move on without this level of angst.
We know less about the proposed-to Toni than the hiking buddy Sarah. We should have learned something about what made Toni so special to the writer. Sarah is right to distance herself from the writer. She might be getting gas from her own husband about him, too.
But since you did, and made a mess of things, think about whether you would like to marry Sarah. If you would, find the right time, and propose to her. It’s possible that the two of you have enough in common to make a happy marriage. Maybe she hasn’t thought of you in that way but might consider it upon reflection.
There is something not normal about a much younger married woman having this kind of friendship with an older man. It just is not appropriate even if it is exactly as presented. I would not like my wife having a relationship like this with another man. Toni is right to be concerned.
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