Posted on 02/23/2022 2:36:49 PM PST by DFG
PENTAGON—In response to Russia's minor incursion into Ukraine, the Pentagon has issued a directive for all military personnel to ramp up their diversity and inclusion training.
"If we are to go toe-to-toe with Russia, we need to wield our most powerful weapon: diversity," said General Mark Milley to reporters while waiting for his fresh manicure to dry. "Starting today, our top priority is to make sure all Marines, Airmen, Seamen, and Soldiers have completed modules 1-17 of our mandatory whiteness and gender studies training."
In a statement, President Joe Biden voiced support for the inclusivity directive, emphasizing unity, diversity, and hating anyone who thinks differently.
"Look, Jack," said Biden to a model in a Sears catalog he mistook for his secretary. "Russia is going to come down hard on Ukraine unless we enforce gender inclusivity and minority representation in our military. "This is important, folks, no joke! For real! Gotta do this stuff! I'm not kidding! Trunalimunumaprzure!"
All military personnel have dropped all other training exercises to complete the modules.
"OK MEN! SCHOOL CIRCLE RIGHT NOW!" said Marine Sergeant Jack "Butcher" McCree his platoon of riflemen training out in the field. "We have to complete this course on transgender furry BDSM and how it affects indigenous people of color! GO! GO! GO!"
Senators Ted Cruz and Rand Paul introduced a bill to ban what they called "pointless military training" which questioned what benefit furries bring to the military but they were booed by a gaggle of CNN and NBC reporters.
Is it really the Bee?
That sense of relief you get when you discover it’s from The Bee.
The Bee almost got me.
However, I do reserve the right to say that all this stuff will come true tomorrow.
hard to tell these days (yes this is real)
NATO ACT
@NATO_ACT
The Gender & Hybrid Deep Dive is the first among a series of future sessions, including Gender & Resilience, Gender & Deterrence and Gender & Climate Change. The Deep Dive series aim to integrate a gender perspective throughout all of #NATO’s core tasks.
https://twitter.com/NATO_ACT/status/1489837919682678787
Well, I guess the military could train the furries to be snipers, and they might save some of the money they spend on ghillie suits. Of course, the furrie snipers might also get eaten by any 'real deal' four-legged predators that happened to wander by...
;>)
Got me...I believed the headline! How sad.
Got me...I believed the headline! How sad.
The General has lost his mind.
Perversity is our strength
Never understood why President Trump promoted Milley to the position of Chairman of the JCS. The general is considered to be such a joke here.
I wouldn’t be in the least bit surprised.
What’s the difference between a Babylon Bee article and reality? About 3 weeks.
You almost had me...
I didnt think this was a Bee headline.
Nice work, Babylon Bee.
A friggin’ Snowflake, Cupcake and Marshmallow military. Nice. I guess if there is a bright side it’s that there are very few Caucasians and Americans left in the ranks and lots of 400 lb mommas.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.