Skip to comments.Pelosi Delays Stimulus Package Until Her New Souvenir Pens Come In
Posted on 03/26/2020 1:09:10 PM PDT by MNJohnnie
WASHINGTON, D.C.Earlier today, lawmakers had announced they had reached an agreement on a stimulus package, totalling approximately $88 bajillion dollars. (Many expressed concern that we would have to pay this back at some point, but congresspeople assured their constituents that it's just their kids and grandkids who will have to pay for our reckless spending.)
But in a last-minute delay, Pelosi announced that she is out of souvenir pens to sign the bill and send it over to the president. "This is a somber emergency, of course, but it's important that I have a bunch of souvenirs to hand out to supporters, so I can remind everyone that I saved the economy."
"Once my souvenir pens come in, I'll sign our version so we can make this thing law," Pelosi said. "They're on backorder for the next 6-8 weeks, so just hang in there, America."
At publishing time, sources had confirmed the pens are coming from China, further delaying the passing of the stimulus bill.
Pretty sure it’s satire. It’s scheduled for Friday. She signs nothing.
Hard to tell BB satire from truth.
Any article from the Bee is satire. It's what they do. And they're doing it very good these days.
You can tell it’s satire by “$88 bajillion dollars.” It’s pretty well know the true sum is only 8 bajillion dollars.
LOl! That was very good
How many bajillions in a zillion?
The fact you have to ask about satire show you what Pelosi is really all about
I was about to blow a fuse until I saw the source.
We all know the drill. Shell do her usual simpering walk and bizarre facial contortions for the cameras and give her canned speech about helping the families who are depending on government for their every need. And shell get in her private jet and disappear to plan her next attack on President Trump.
Surely Satire - but knowing those AH’s likely the truth!
peelowsee is a real boneheaded b*tch
It’s Nancy’s 80th Birthday today so expect nothing but a line of people to kiss her feet
And if she signs AND passes out pens??
Watch Snopes fact-check this.
Babylon Bee is satire, but boy they have been on a roll!
and UPS is backed up as hell.
It’s Babylon Bee.
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