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Old Men Have Needs
The Coach's Team ^ | 6/28/18 | Unk

Posted on 06/28/2018 9:20:51 AM PDT by Oldpuppymax

Hat Tips: navypatriot and Suzanne Eovaldi

A 76-year-old man is having a drink in a bar. Suddenly a gorgeous girl enters and sits down a Few seats away. She's so attractive that he just can't take his eyes off her.

After a short while, the girl notices him staring, and approaches him.

Before the man can apologize, the girl looks him in the eyes and says in a sultry tone: "I'll do anything you'd like. Anything in your wildest dreams, it doesn't matter how crazy, I'm game."

The mans jaw drops and is completely stunned.

She continues, "I want $100, and there's one condition. You have to tell me what you want in just three words."

The man takes a moment to think about this offer from the beautiful woman. Then he whips out his wallet and puts ten $10 bills in her outstretched hand.

He looks her square in the eyes, and says slowly and clearly.... "Paint my house."

Our needs change as we get older.

Ed. An old joke but still a good one; and, unfortunately, quite true.


TOPICS: Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: aging; oldfolks; sex
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1 posted on 06/28/2018 9:20:51 AM PDT by Oldpuppymax
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To: Oldpuppymax

My Cheshire Cat Smile!!


2 posted on 06/28/2018 9:22:09 AM PDT by Sacajaweau
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To: Oldpuppymax

A keeper...


3 posted on 06/28/2018 9:24:00 AM PDT by Doogle (( USAF.68-....8th TFW Ubon Thailand....never store a threat you should have eliminated)))
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To: Oldpuppymax

....but I’d have to add..in a bikini


4 posted on 06/28/2018 9:25:40 AM PDT by Doogle (( USAF.68-....8th TFW Ubon Thailand....never store a threat you should have eliminated)))
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To: Oldpuppymax
Needs and Wants are different things...

5 posted on 06/28/2018 9:27:24 AM PDT by BitWielder1 (I'd rather have Unequal Wealth than Equal Poverty.)
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To: Doogle

...worth the extra $20....


6 posted on 06/28/2018 9:31:34 AM PDT by Doogle (( USAF.68-....8th TFW Ubon Thailand....never store a threat you should have eliminated)))
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To: Oldpuppymax

“We’re getting granite countertops”...


7 posted on 06/28/2018 9:44:00 AM PDT by Does so (No mention of "Brown Shirts" on this page?)
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To: Doogle

`Nice beaver’ joke in there somewhere....

;^)


8 posted on 06/28/2018 9:44:20 AM PDT by elcid1970 ("The Second Amendment is more important than Islam. Buy ammo.")
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To: Oldpuppymax

TTIWWP


9 posted on 06/28/2018 10:03:10 AM PDT by pilipo (We are not free.)
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To: pilipo

10 posted on 06/28/2018 10:10:41 AM PDT by Enterprise
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To: elcid1970
My Three Words would've been different.
11 posted on 06/28/2018 10:16:22 AM PDT by gigster (Cogito, Ergo, Ronaldus Magnus Conservatus)
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To: gigster

“Do your worst?”


12 posted on 06/28/2018 10:17:07 AM PDT by RinaseaofDs
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To: Oldpuppymax

bkmk


13 posted on 06/28/2018 10:21:56 AM PDT by Sergio (An object at rest cannot be stopped! - The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight)
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To: Does so

I love the granite countertops joke.


14 posted on 06/28/2018 10:22:52 AM PDT by Two Kids' Dad (((( Sessions couldn't find his own ass if Al Franken was grabbing it at the time ))))
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To: Oldpuppymax

He could have been using Dog Whistle Codes;
She replied with a wink; “Pops, I will ‘paint your house’, if you think you can ‘paint my wagon’. I’m talkin’ brushes & buckets. Deal?”


15 posted on 06/28/2018 10:23:23 AM PDT by lee martell
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To: Enterprise
Thanks, I've been thinking it was time to update my fantasy football logo. I been getting complaints about it...  photo Kate20Upton20Cat20Daddy20dance_zpsbgb36xkx.gif
16 posted on 06/28/2018 10:50:24 AM PDT by SomeCallMeTim ( The best minds are not in government. If any were, business would hire them!it)
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To: Oldpuppymax

Reminds me of a line from MAD DOG COLL in which Coll threatens an old man. His reaction is...

“Mr Coll, I am seventy five years old. I don’t look at the girls anymore, even in their summer dresses. Save your threats for someone who has their life in front of them.”


17 posted on 06/28/2018 11:25:08 AM PDT by Ruy Dias de Bivar
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To: SomeCallMeTim

I am not on that list of people complaining. :)


18 posted on 06/28/2018 11:59:16 AM PDT by Enterprise
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To: Enterprise

This response warrants a USSC seat. I will speak to you know who” about it. And thanks.


19 posted on 06/28/2018 12:44:12 PM PDT by pilipo (We are not free.)
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To: Ruy Dias de Bivar
Another joke in the same vein:

An elderly man is passing a pond and a frog calls out to him.

"Hey, mister, if you kiss me I'll turn into a beautiful princess, yours to do with as you please!"

The man picks up the frog and starts to put it in his pocket.

"Hey, what are you doing? Don't you want a beautiful princess?"

"No thanks. At my age I'd rather have a talking frog."

20 posted on 06/28/2018 12:50:32 PM PDT by boop ("I said give me the brandy!")
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