DUmmie FUnnies 12-31-08 ("My haiku made it onto the Rude Pundit!!!!")

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | December 31, 2008 | DUmmie Tangerine LaBamba, DUmmies, and Charles Henrickson

[Charles Henrickson]

Well, it has been an interesting year here on the DUmmie FUnnies: the primaries, Operation Chaos, the general campaign and election, BDS (Bush Derangement Syndrome), PMS (Palin Madness Syndrome), and the brief micro-honeymoon Obambi enjoyed with the Looney Left (if you blinked, you missed it). All of it chronicled and ribbed for your pleasure here on the DUFUs!

The DUmmies, too, are in a reflective mood, as they take stock of the year now ending. Some of them have even expressed their thoughts in poetical form, using the Japanese haiku (5-7-5) as their model. Apparently, there is a blog called the rude pundit that solicited such submissions. Well, by golly, one of the DUmmies, Tangerine LaBamba (a screen name, perhaps), excitedly reports her triumph, in this THREAD, "My haiku made it onto the Rude Pundit!!!!" So let's see what all the haiku hullabaloo is about, in Rising Sun Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, himself the wag tailoring the doggerel, is in the [brackets]:

My haiku made it onto the Rude Pundit!!!!

[Better yet, you made the DUmmie FUnnies!!!!]

I would like to thank everyone who made this possible - my agent . . .

[Who asks, "Where's my 10% commission?"]

my parents . . .

[Ma and Pa LaBamba, who named their little bundle of joy, "Tangerine."]

my cleaning lady . . .

[Whose work is NEVER finished.]

my exorcist . . .

[Whose work is NEVER finished.]

and, of course, all the little people out there who did everything they could to help me make this dream of mine, this crazy, silly dream that never had a chance of coming true, come true.

[Enough already! So where is this prize-winning haiku?]

All praise to some kind of deity who might be more wonderful than I am, but I can't think of any right now.

[Not even Gaia?]

I'm so excited!

[I just can't hide it
I'm about to lose control
I think I like it]

(The music swells.)

[So does your head. But Tangerine, baby, in your excitement you forgot to show us your haiku! So let's go to that rude pundit site for a moment and behold your magnum opus . . .]

If I live too long
Spring will bring another Bush.
I hope I die first.

[Here lies Tangerine
A Democrat Underground
From Bush Derangement]

I bow before your greatness. . . .

[Chaucer. Shakespeare. Milton. Tennyson. LaBamba. A prodigious pantheon of poetic powerhouses.]

I like it, but it's not a haiku. In fact, none of them are. Those are senryus--same syllable count, but it's about human life rather than nature.

[You can't be senryus!]

Very cool. I love the Rude Pundit.

[What about the Useless Pundidiot, William Rivers Pitt?]

This calls for dancing rodents. Conga rats!

[Conga rats from your fellow Demon rats!]

Forsooth... Basho is in deep sh*t.

[DUmmie Tandalayo_Scheisskopf compares Tangerine LaBamba to the master of the haiku, Matsuo Basho. (Yes, I had to google "Basho," but I wanted an excuse to put "Tandalayo_Scheisskopf" and "Tangerine LaBamba" in the same sentence.)]

"All the little people." I feel like a leprechaun.

[You smell like a leper colony.]

Your haiku impressed
Some guy with a bitter blog
Whoop de frickin' do

[Hey, tough crowd, tough crowd
Tangerine gets no respect
Go take a haiku!]

[Charles Henrickson]

Go MAKE a haiku! Yes, in addition to your usual prosaic posts, you Poetical Pingees should feel free to adorn this DUFU with your own creative contributions! Something, for instance, about Our Year with the DUmmies/KOmmies/HUffies . . . some turn-of-the-year reflections . . . whatever.

[Charles Henrickson]

Going from bard to verse . . . PING!

[MamaB]

Hi.

[digger48]

Have you ever thought,
That Obama tries to speak,
Inhisownhaiku?

[Charles Henrickson]

Hi.

Hi too.

[doug from upland]

Since I’ve written over 10,000 of them and did two Clinton books, I prefer limericks.

THERE’S A DUMMIE WHO’S WANTING TO DIE
BUSH DERANGEMENT IS HIS REASON WHY
IF HE BLOWS OUT HIS BRAINS
OR GETS HIT BY A TRAIN
DO YOU THINK THAT A FREEPER WILL CRY?

[Yardstick]

You’re right, he does have kind of a haiku cadence.

But here’s the thing the impersonators have so far missed about Obama: the way he whistles the “s” on words that end in “s”. He does it every time and I swear he does it on purpose.

[Charles Henrickson]

Have you ever thought,
That Obama tries to speak,
Inhisownhaiku?

"Spread the wealth around"
Opossum on the bike who
Wants to tax-hike you

[mikrofon]

If I live too long
Spring will bring another Bush.
I hope I die first.

You MUST be kidding...
That's your prize-winner haiku?
What a bunch of $#@$%!

[MamaB]

Happy New Year.

[Army Air Corps]

Posted on the chest of a barmaid from Sale
Was tatooed all the prices of ale.
Pasted on her behind,
for the sake of the blind,
Was precisely the same, but in braille.

[NeoCaveman]

Pelosi H. Ried,
Obama Missus Clinton
Happy New Year Chuck

[Red_Devil 232]

Yeth! It Ith a Signal.

[DirtyHarryY2K]

*you smell like a leper colony*

LMAO!

[TypeZoNegative]

Clueless liberal.
Our economy will tank.
Thanks for the hope, ass.

[faq]

DUmmies will always
Be miserable people.
Schadenfreude, baby!

[PJ-Comix]

I've been checking past editions of the DUFUs and where some DUmmies had their own haiku. Here is the Rovian Haiku:

I sense danger.
By the pricking of my thumbs
Something Rovian this way comes!

[eddie willers]

Haiku ping.

[Charles Henrickson]

DUmmieland Ant Farm:
SOMEBODY SHOOK UP THE ANTS!
Loads and loads of FUn!

[Miss Marple]

Inauguration
Comes with bitter cold and snow.
God laughs at Barrack.