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Syria Needs Truck Drivers
New York Tiimes ^ | August 6, 2006 | CaptainEd

Posted on 08/06/2006 7:00:40 PM PDT by TheRadicalRepublican

Help Wanted: No Experience Necessary

Have you ever dreamed of a career in the trucking industry? Ever wanted to feel the breeze in your hair? Ever heard the call of the wide, open highway? Now’s your chance! The Syrian government has immediate openings for fifty truck drivers on the picturesque Syrian-Lebanon trade route! Now you can make a difference, get your foot in the door to eternity and help wipe out Satan and his spawn while earning a great wage and these exciting perks: (1) $25,000 accident or dismemberment policy paid immediately to your clan (2) compensation for hauling fallen Hezbollah martyrs on your return trip (3) 72 virgins will be reserved upon completion of only 3 loads (that’s down from last weeks’ five) (4) Free surrender flag (complements of the French government) and translated copy of the Geneva convention. Not an equal opportunity employer. No Jews, Women, Christians, Canadians or Iraqi turncoats need apply. No driving skills necessary.


TOPICS: Conspiracy; Government; Humor; Politics; Society; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: cdllicense; jobs; newbie; peterbilt; politics; satire; virgins; war; zot

1 posted on 08/06/2006 7:00:42 PM PDT by TheRadicalRepublican
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To: TheRadicalRepublican

No sign-on bonus?


2 posted on 08/06/2006 7:08:13 PM PDT by somemoreequalthanothers (All for the betterment of "the state", comrade)
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To: TheRadicalRepublican

The surviving truck drivers would probably do well as participants in a special Hezb'ollah Demolition Derby.


3 posted on 08/06/2006 7:11:54 PM PDT by syriacus (It's a small world after all. I'd rather have Israelis as neighbors than have Hizb'allah as neigbors)
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To: TheRadicalRepublican
Your link shouldn't indicate "New York Times" unless it's actually going there....which it's not.
4 posted on 08/06/2006 7:26:01 PM PDT by jdm (Another day, another Helen Thomas pic)
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To: jdm

Sorry, this is my first posting. I knew I'd mess up something on it. Please accept my apology and this crisp $100 bill.


5 posted on 08/06/2006 7:33:50 PM PDT by TheRadicalRepublican
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To: jdm

sign-on bonus


6 posted on 08/06/2006 7:38:56 PM PDT by TheRadicalRepublican
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